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Jokes to raise a smile? (Threads Merged)


ArtyGraph

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The teacher asked the class to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."

The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate,' not 'fascinating'."

Sally raised her hand. She said, "My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated."

The teacher said, "Well, that was good Sally, but as I said to Molly I wanted you to use the word fascinate'.

Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.

She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate," so she called on him.

Johnny said, "My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight!"

 

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Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father.

He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest.

After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?"

His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy."

Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the postman wants to buy Mom."

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Fred and Mary got married, but can't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.

In the morning, Johnny, Fred's little brother, gets up and has his breakfast.

As he is going out of the door to go to school, little Johnny asks his Mom "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

She replies, "No".

Johnny says, "I think I know why.”

Knowing little Johnny's propensity for lude and crude remarks, his mom replies, "I don't want to hear what you think! Just go to school."

Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

She replies, "No."

Johnny says, "I think I know why.”

His mom replies, "Never mind what you think! Eat your lunch and go back to school."

After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, "Are Fred and Mary up yet?"

His mom says "No."

He says, "I think I know why.”

His Mom is a little worried so replies, "OK then, do tell me what you think."

Little Johnny says: "Last night Fred saw me and asked if we had any vaseline - but I think I gave him the super glue."

 

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2 hours ago, AussieBob said:

Politically incorrect sexist misogynistic - banned by the feminists.

As this is the jokes topic I'll assume you're joking as it's not true Hagar the Horrible is banned.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2235647620/permalink/10158434438857621/

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There's even a sitcom in the works.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hägar_the_Horrible#Animated_sitcom

Animated sitcom[edit]

On November 10, 2020, it was announced a CGI animated series co-produced by King Features and The Jim Henson Company is currently in the works. The series will be animated by Henson Digital Puppetry Studio.[20][21]

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16 hours ago, forcebwithu said:

As this is the jokes topic I'll assume you're joking as it's not true Hagar the Horrible is banned.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/2235647620/permalink/10158434438857621/

image.png

There's even a sitcom in the works.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hägar_the_Horrible#Animated_sitcom

Animated sitcom[edit]

On November 10, 2020, it was announced a CGI animated series co-produced by King Features and The Jim Henson Company is currently in the works. The series will be animated by Henson Digital Puppetry Studio.[20][21]

Yes - it was a tongue in cheek joke.  But rest assured - the feminists hate it - this you dont see that type of humour much anymore in the media here.  

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