Jump to content

Jokes to raise a smile? (Threads Merged)


ArtyGraph

Recommended Posts

On 12/28/2022 at 4:42 AM, Golfingboy said:

Was a popular car in Montreal, think they came out with a ZX2 version with a little more HP, then eventually it gave way to the Focus

I've had some great cars during my life, including a Ferrari 430 F1 for a couple of years, but my favourite car that I've owned is still the 1968 Mk 2 1600 GT Cortina when in my early 20's. It was silver fox in colour and guys of my era will know that they had a massive habit of peeling. Mine was no exception, me and a mate rubbed it down and I got it sprayed by a professional. White with Ipswich Town football club blue "lotus" stripes on each side. It was my pride and joy until some fucking gypo knicked it late one night when pissed, drove it 200 yards up the road and smashed into a bollard outside a night club . . 😩

Didn't mean to TF, apologies, just came to mind.

  • Great Info 2
  • Thumbs Up 1
  • Sad 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Two rabbits escape from a research laboratory and find themselves in a field full of carrots, The rabbits cannot believe their luck and they begin eating until they fall asleep.
The next day the young rabbit says to the old rabbit " I think it's time to head back to the lab".
The old rabbit suggests they see whats in the next field, They find an entire field of cabbages and begin eating.
The next day the young rabbit asks to go back to the lab, The old rabbit suggests seeing what is in the other field and once they crawl under the fence they find an entire field full of female rabbits.
After an entire day of mating with every female in sight the old rabbit turns to the young rabbit and says " I think its time to head back to the lab"
The young rabbit asks "Why the hell would you want to go back to the lab we have two fields full of vegetables and the other is filled with female rabbits what more could you want?!"
The older rabbit replies,
"I'm dying for a cigarette."
  • Haha 4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

A couple, both age 78, went to a sex therapist's office. The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"

The man said, "Will you watch us have sex?"

The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed.

When the couple finished, the doctor said, "There's nothing wrong with the way you have sex," and charged them $50.

This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have sex with no problems, pay the doctor, then leave.

Finally, the doctor asked, "Just exactly what are you trying to find out?"

"We're not trying to find out anything," the husband replied.
"She's married and we can't go to her house. I'm married and we can't go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $90. The Hilton charges $108. We do it here for $50...and I get $43 back from Medicare.

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...