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Ivan the terrible

men " dating" younger women

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1 minute ago, andycoll said:

Hmm, I seem to be missing something. Like the article in fact. 

couldnt you see it Andy?...if paywalled will post an elongated snippet

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The appalling truth about dating significantly younger women  

 
 
Lady Kitty Spencer, 28, with her new beau, MIchael Lewis, 60
Diana, Princess of Wales's niece Lady Kitty Spencer, 28, with her new beau, Michael Lewis, 60 - and a massive diamond ring CREDIT:  KGC-339/TIDNY-102

Twenty-eight-year-old Lady Kitty Spencer, Princes Diana’s niece, has been seen strolling though the streets of New York with her arm draped around the shoulder of her 60-year-old boyfriend, fashion millionaire Michael Lewis. It’s the first public acknowledgement that she is indeed with a man twice her age, a man who is even older than her own father, Earl Spencer.

Romantics will say, why shouldn’t they date? After all, age is just a number. To which cynics like me will retort: yeah, a big zero! For having dated women much younger than me – the biggest gap was 25 years – I hope Mr Lewis won’t mind me offering a little bit of caring and concerned advice: Don’t Do It!

The pleasures of dating young women like Kitty Spencer are pretty obvious from an older male perspective: youth, beauty and sexiness. But often young women are just arm candy; visual Viagra for the older, sagging male ego. Of course, we older men never admit that, preferring to claim that they are “terrific fun” and “terribly bright” – even when they’re thick as two planks.

But what are the pitfalls of dating young women for the older man? I gave up going out on dates with young women when I turned 50. (I’m 64 now.) There’s something I call the ‘yuck factor’; that is, the spectacle of an older man trying to woo or seduce a young woman is just a bit… yucky.

 

Is this pure ageism? Perhaps. My dad was always chasing young women – actually, he was always chasing any woman with a pulse – so I swore I would never be that way.

Harrison Ford is 38 years older than his partner, Calista Flockhart 
Harrison Ford is 38 years older than his partner, Calista Flockhart  CREDIT: VALERY HACHE/AFP/GETTY IMAGES

There are more practical and rational reasons for why I gave up dating young women. They’re a bloody nightmare to go out with. 

Many years ago I, dated a woman 19 years younger than me who worked in PR. She would always turn up late for dinner – saying “Sorry, I’m such a flake!” – and then spend ages on her phone: “Sorry, I need to get this…” In the middle of my funniest anecdote, she’d tell me: “Sorry, I need to just send this one text.” Eventually I said “Sorry, this isn’t working!” and ended it.

I know men are from Mars, but what planet are young women from? You send them a beautifully crafted love letter and they send you a text consisting of three Xs and three heart emojis. (And they say romance is dead.) 

I had a brief fling with a young woman who was an aspiring novelist and 20 years’ younger than me. I would bring her flowers and champagne; she would bring me her best gay friend and her dog.

One of the biggest gaps between older men and younger women is not just age, but culture. They don’t get your references. Classic lines from Casablanca are greeted with silence or puzzlement; when a young woman asked me if Gone With the Wind was a romcom, I knew we were in trouble.

 

Unlike Michael Lewis and other men of his kind, I never felt comfortable indulging in public displays of affection with a young woman. I tried it once and got age-shamed. We’d had a few cocktails in Soho and out on the street I was staring into my date’s eyes, getting ready for that first kiss, when a voice cried out: “Go on, Grandad, give ’er one for me!” Funny how little helpful comments like that can kill the moment.

That sad little story raises the biggest older-man-young-women obstacle of all: sex. You can be a rich, powerful, successful older man that beautiful young women adore – but naked, you’re just another old bloke with chin wobble, belly spread and buttocks that hang like drooping breasts.

Cosmo Landesman
Cosmo Landesman: 'When a young woman asked me if Gone With the Wind was a romcom, I knew we were in trouble' CREDIT:  STEVE MEDDLE/REX/SHUTTERSTOCK

There was a hilarious episode of Sex and the City when Samantha was dating a very rich 70-year-old man who plied her with diamond jewellery. She claimed that it was just as easy to have sex with an older man as a young man – if the lights were out. Everything was going fine for Samantha until her lover went to the loo and spotted his buttocks… and she took instant flight.

I was told by the author Dolly Alderton that a man should always “carry his naked body” – no matter how old or fat – “with confidence”, because, she claimed, it was “so terribly sexy!” I tried that once. And my young companion took one look at the naked me and suggested we watch telly instead.

 

There are young women who actually prefer older men. Kitty’s Spencer’s last boyfriend, another rich chap, was older than her, too. When I went out with younger women, I always wondered: are they really into me or do they just have daddy issues? By that I mean they want from older men the love and admiration they never got from their dads.

I’m not saying the age gap can’t be overcome. Harrison Ford was 38 years’ older than Calista Flockhart when they first dated, and Michael Douglas was 56 when he hooked up with 31-year old Catherine Zeta Jones – and both couples are still going strong.

So, good luck to Kitty and Michael – they’re going to need it. Me, I’m just glad my days of dating much younger women are over.

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I assume of course it has nothing to do with the fact that the older guy is often megga rich or is a film star.

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Posted (edited)
32 minutes ago, boydeste said:

I assume of course it has nothing to do with the fact that the older guy is often megga rich or is a film star.

of course not 🤣 ,BUT, said woman is independently wealthy

im younger than him ...lol

Edited by Ivan the terrible
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1 hour ago, boydeste said:

I assume of course it has nothing to do with the fact that the older guy is often megga rich or is a film star.

 

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3 hours ago, Ivan the terrible said:

see above

Thanks Ivan !

Nice writing style and a sober look at the situation.

Personally I have nothing against older men going out with much younger women, as long as they (the men) keep their head on their shoulder and dont start doing stupid stuff because he is "in love"

I have often gone out or lived with much younger women and yep, I recognize some of the situations / facts mentionned in the article. Not that it ever stressed or worried me.

Biggest age gap was with ex an Miss (half VN/half French), a beauty of 28 while I was close to 60. Looks I got in the plane or on holiday in France, but so what ? It was a nice time, enjoyed by both even if for different reasons and each knowing there was no future in the relationship, just an rather enjoyable time together.

My actual Miss is 17 y younger then me, its not that much and as I look incredibly young and handsome it doesn't show too much....😄😄😄

Oh yes, and I dont dress in Singha wife beater and she in micro skirt with 4 inch heels to go to the local market.....

 

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Largest age gap I ever dated was a young lady about 19 years junior to me and that was ten years ago. I am neither rich nor a movie star, so that can't be the reason. Now, the age gap is still the same, but she isn't that young any more and mother of two sons. She is also my wife, but dating stopped sometime in the second trimester of the first pregnancy.

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23 years between my age and my wife. 

Try as I may, I can’t make it any less. 🤔

Edited by KhunDon
Got the age difference wrong, but only by 10 years. 🤪
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On ‎5‎/‎18‎/‎2019 at 4:39 AM, Thai Spice said:

Thanks Ivan !

Nice writing style and a sober look at the situation.

Personally I have nothing against older men going out with much younger women, as long as they (the men) keep their head on their shoulder and dont start doing stupid stuff because he is "in love"

I have often gone out or lived with much younger women and yep, I recognize some of the situations / facts mentionned in the article. Not that it ever stressed or worried me.

Biggest age gap was with ex an Miss (half VN/half French), a beauty of 28 while I was close to 60. Looks I got in the plane or on holiday in France, but so what ? It was a nice time, enjoyed by both even if for different reasons and each knowing there was no future in the relationship, just an rather enjoyable time together.

My actual Miss is 17 y younger then me, its not that much and as I look incredibly young and handsome it doesn't show too much....😄😄😄

Oh yes, and I dont dress in Singha wife beater and she in micro skirt with 4 inch heels to go to the local market.....

 

A man down the pub told me it was you that wore the heals to the market  im sure the term katoey kwai was mentioned

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11 minutes ago, thumper63 said:

I'm all for it. One of my first sexual experiences was with an older woman. She was a friend of mine mother. Was very exciting.

Mrs Robinson ? 😉 

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Women are the same all around the world. It's all about money and security. To keep that much younger woman happy, you are going to have to take good care of her. If the guy makes the mistake of laying out everything up front and she thinks she has all she can get, Goodbye.

There was an old guy who lived upcountry near where I live. He was married to a stunning young gal who waited on him hand and foot. It took him three years to build her new home, furnish it and to buy her a new vehicle. Then she threw him out. His friends asked him what he was going to do about it and if he would try to get anything back from her. He grinned and asked how many  old men lived with a stunning young gal for three years. He said that he still had a lot of money left and that he was going to Pattaya to try to find another stunner just like her.

We had thought he was stupid spending big money on her but as it turned out, he wasn't so stupid after all. I don't know if he found her replacement but we never saw him after that. He also mentioned that he didn't want to die with a ton of money in the bank.

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The problem with the main example of the article is that Lady Kitty does not need to date an older, rich guy for his money. She is rather well off herself to put it mildly and is and always has been a legitimate without doubt member of the upper classes. 

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Well there's 31 years between wifey and i, we met and married when she was 24 and i was 55, i though i'd won the lottery, fxxk knows what she won lol and TBH with ya i could'nt GAF she's still here looking after my every need nearly 13 years later, i think she's lovely and so do all my family and mates....

"You're only as old as the lady you feel"

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I met my then future wife when she was 19 and at Oxford University. I didn’t know she and her family had money, as she didn’t act HiSo and didn’t go in for expensive clothes etc. It wasn’t until I met her family, who are far from HiSo, that she told me they were loaded.

Money doesn’t really mean much to her, or me. OK, it makes life easier when we both have money, but there are more important things in a marriage, than who has the biggest bank account.

As to the age difference, who gives a feck! We certainly don’t, neither do her parents or the extended family and anyone else can go stick their thumb up their bum and climb up to their elbow, for all we care. 

Been married for 19 years and it gets better everyday. 🤗

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13 years between mrs rock and me comes from the usual big issan family , shes 5th of 9 kids they are all workers/ farmers except one who was a real boozer but been a monk for last few years ( not a fan of falangs unlike all her other brothers and sisters) no money to speak off but never asked or hinted at a donation , did help out younger sister in law husband when they lent me the ute ,went and got new springs and a couple of tyres ,they never asked i just did it before returning it(4500 bt) as they were commuting from bkk every weekend to help out the mother in law when she got real sick

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