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KhunDon

How does your wife or girlfriend handle living away from Thailand.

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Watching my wife over the years living in the UK, it dawned on me, just how easily she has adapted to living here.

She first came here for university at 18 and has now spent approximately half her life living here. 
She appears happy and settled and has a small group (approximately 20) local Thai friends. 
She speaks excellent English, which many of her friends don’t and has quite a few English friends as well. So she has her own social life, as well as a social life as a married couple. 
Although she doesn’t work, she’s always busy, running around with our son, meeting friends both Thai and English, cooking with her friends, going to London to see shows or visit museums with friends and of course, doing local and far flung temples to pray. 
We spoke about how she feels being away from Thailand for so long and does she miss it, but she doesn’t seem to.
Maybe because her family visit us so often and also she is able to jump on a plane and visit them, so not living there is not a real problem. 
We have seen several couples (Thai/English) split up over the years, with the wife leaving to go home, but to be honest, it was obvious to us, their relationship was strained because the wife couldn’t or wouldn’t make a real effort to live in the UK. Yet on the other hand, many of our friends (Thai/British couples) seem extremely happy and stable here.

So what makes a successful relationship when a Thai woman is living thousands of miles from home with her partner?

I could list my thoughts, but I’d rather hear yours first. 👌

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My wife doesn't want to live in Thailand, but the old cliche "my girl is different" has always been true with her.  She does miss the food, however.....

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Goes for any "international" relationship...nothing specific Thai.

Of course having a bit of $$ helps to "adapt" and the lack of it will simply make a difficult situation more difficult.

 

 

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Just now, Thai Spice said:

Goes for any "international" relationship...nothing specific Thai.

Of course having a bit of $$ helps to "adapt" and the lack of it will simply make a difficult situation more difficult.

 

 

Not at all. My Wife works her fingers to the bone and has kept me for 6 years. She hands over every penny of Her wages every week to me. I earn nothing here.

She fits in perfectly, has done since She came here 13.5 years ago. 

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I would think that most would be able to live away from their homeland if they are in a strong relationship.  I lived thousands of miles away from home when living in Thailand.

My wife also has the added opportunity of earning a decent living wage in the UK and she has adapted so well to being here that the only thing she missed about Thailand is her family and that would apply to all of us.

I actually don't think there is a complex answer to this, it is pretty simple if your relationship is based on a solid foundation.

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My wife has said several times .its cheaper to live here than in Thailand and it's not so hot 

Has made a couple of Thai friends but that's it  but as we get older one tends to be less social

Odd occasion she has a grumpy and complains that some of the women at the temple have husbands that pay for everything and she can't do that

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I think my wifes happy enough, According to her she doesn't want to go back to Thailand to live. She's got a few mates, a job with other Thai's and her car etc if she wants to do her own thing.

Food wise she gets hold of most stuff she wants but she's also quite good with eating western stuff. She's not massively religious so not into the temple scene etc which suits me as I wouldn't go with her anyway so theres no issues there. 🙂

She comments to me about our relationship being different from many of the Thai girls here that she knows, they seem to be together every minute of the day and the husbands gives them an allowance etc and they clean the house, cook the dinner and run around after the husband. Personally not into that but we have also lived together for 17 years now, 13 of those years in Pattaya so we've always both had our own freedom (not in that way lol).

🙂 

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2 hours ago, Thai Spice said:

Goes for any "international" relationship...nothing specific Thai.

Of course having a bit of $$ helps to "adapt" and the lack of it will simply make a difficult situation more difficult.

 

 

Yes it does TS, but I chose the post subject as I’m only married to a Thai lady and don’t have any experience of marriage to any other nationalities. Of course having money helps a great deal, but I’ve known  several marriages, Thai/British, where they have very little, but their marriage has lasted for over 30 years and their relationship seems to be rock solid. 
 

Horizondave I agree, the most successful relationships I’ve seen, seem to be based on mutual love and trust. If you’ve got those, the relationship always seem to not only last, but goes from strength to strength. 

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13 minutes ago, davethailand said:

I think my wifes happy enough, According to her she doesn't want to go back to Thailand to live. She's got a few mates, a job with other Thai's and her car etc if she wants to do her own thing.

Food wise she gets hold of most stuff she wants but she's also quite good with eating western stuff. She's not massively religious so not into the temple scene etc which suits me as I wouldn't go with her anyway so theres no issues there. 🙂

She comments to me about our relationship being different from many of the Thai girls here that she knows, they seem to be together every minute of the day and the husbands gives them an allowance etc and they clean the house, cook the dinner and run around after the husband. Personally not into that but we have also lived together for 17 years now, 13 of those years in Pattaya so we've always both had our own freedom (not in that way lol).

🙂 

Sounds  very similar to our relationship. However we have been together for 18 years with the last 16 years she has been with me in the UK and Australia. We bought an investment property in Australia and she gives me $400 a week to pay for that.

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11 minutes ago, davethailand said:

I think my wifes happy enough, According to her she doesn't want to go back to Thailand to live. She's got a few mates, a job with other Thai's and her car etc if she wants to do her own thing.

Food wise she gets hold of most stuff she wants but she's also quite good with eating western stuff. She's not massively religious so not into the temple scene etc which suits me as I wouldn't go with her anyway so theres no issues there. 🙂

She comments to me about our relationship being different from many of the Thai girls here that she knows, they seem to be together every minute of the day and the husbands gives them an allowance etc and they clean the house, cook the dinner and run around after the husband. Personally not into that but we have also lived together for 17 years now, 13 of those years in Pattaya so we've always both had our own freedom (not in that way lol).

🙂 

Thanks davethailand, seems to be working well for you. 👍

My wife has a small group of Thai female friends and tends not to want to be friends with every Thai woman she meets. I think she instinctively knows if someone could be troublesome and tends to steer well clear of them. 
As with most Thais, food is a big deal and my wife is no different in that respect. She cooks and eats with around 10 friends at our home around 2-3 times a week and it’s a social event, sharing food and chatting but there’s never alcohol involved. 
 

I enjoy going to the smaller temples as a family and although I’m not religious, we tend to make it a family day out and I fully support her need to meet the monks and pray. In fact she’s upstairs praying and meditating at the moment. It’s her quiet time, so we tend not to disturb her for an hour or so. 
My wife has never run around looking after me, I would hate that. We share the cooking and cleaning when required and have both joint and separate bank accounts. If any bill’s come in, it’s paid for from the joint account, which I feel is fair, as we both put the same amount into that joint account each month. 
We’ve never argued about money and both are free to spend money on anything we want. 

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Of course rhe relationship is the base, and is what makes it work or break.

I lived :

With my French companion in France, Egypt and Korea. Korea broke it up, my fault

With my Thai wife in Thailand 6y, France 10 y. Back to Thailand she messed it up.

With my Indo companion in HKG 3 y, in Bali now 2 y. 

All combinations can work, but it take some effort from both parties.

I remember my son's g/f discussing with Miss Indo "not easy to live with foreigner".... Haha, and my son and me agreeing "not easy to live with an Asian"

Cheers.

Have been a bit on the piss yesterday, and I think I'll continue today ! Better enjoy life, this is the last straight road before the cremation parade....

 

 

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21 minutes ago, thegrogmonster said:

Sounds  very similar to our relationship. However we have been together for 18 years with the last 16 years she has been with me in the UK and Australia. We bought an investment property in Australia and she gives me $400 a week to pay for that.

thegrogmonster.
We have only bought properties  together since we’ve been married and those have been paid for out of our joint account. 

Her parents have many rental houses and business properties and loads of land in Thailand and no doubt, she, as an only child, will inherit it all in time.

I’ve visited a few of them with her from time to time when we lived there and even acted as a project manager for a few of their new builds, but it’s not something we talk about much now, as her parents take care of it all. Occasionally they phone and discuss issues that may have arisen.
Her parents have tried to get me involved in the family business decisions, but she knows I don’t really want to, unless it impacts on our sons life, (which in time, I suppose it will) besides, she has a great business head on her shoulders and her parents have always trusted her decisions, even more so now they are retired. 

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My wife is functioning quite well here now. No issues at all, happy to be here and enjoying alot of what America has, that Thailand will never have. The flip side to that is, that I have enjoyed alot of the things Thailand has, that America will never have.  I think that it has helped us both being married now to have seen both sides of the coin you know?  I will say too that looking back on it all over our relationship, that being apart from each other and doing the long distance thing for a few years, was probably a good thing. I could " gauge" her decision making skills when it came time to plan this whole thing out with, me making the move over there and all. Had no doubt she would pull it all together having worked with her for 7 years, so I knew her skill level.

Here she fits in with everyone, loves sports, my close friends, family, gym buddies, neighbors and all the kids on the street seem to like her as she has good social skills and not shy about meeting or talking  to people at all. Have seen other guys with their relationships and met their significant other, some of these gals have about as much personality as watching paint dry! They can't be bothered meeting people they don't want to meet. Complete miserable women just don't cut it with me. 

Working out and cooking are two things we have in common, she is a better cook then me by far and could cook newspaper and it would taste good. I do not have to worry about her spending money foolishly either, good sense with Finance and her education having an MBA has made her an asset to me. 

She  has a close Thai friend here who she worked with back home who transferred here to work in the Corporate Office that they go out together a few times per month for  dinner Thai food and go to the theater etc. Do not get the impression she must have Thai friends here or she just can't function....far from it. 

So far we are having a blast here doing things she has never done or seen and will continue for a while and enjoy the fun times ahead.

 

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my wife have lived with me in Denmark now 19 years,she work, she can talk danish, we have 2 daughters togheter,before she work in Thailand,have her own fish restaurant,work 7 days week,12 to 15 hours every day, no holliday-so yes life is more easy for her in Denmark

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She's been here nearly 10 years now, married for 6, and happy as Larry.

Like others' wives she's in no rush to move back to Thailand; she's got everything here apart from her family, but she still speaks with her mom every other day. 

I'm about to book for a 6 week trip back to Thailand to see the in laws with our son, their 1st grandchild, so I expect some emotional times when we arrive and especially when we go home again early next year. 

She'll be fine though, as long as she believes her future is here with me/us..

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We don,t live anywhere permanently but spend months in UK and Spain and Thailand.
My wife seems to enjoy everywhere but doesn,t work so its just a continuous holiday, obviously with a budget. As long as she has wifi, she is in constant contact with family and friends at home and is happy. She needs access to her own foods at times which isn,t a problem. She loves the varied clothes shopping and walking in the differing seasons and not too bothered with other local Thais except a few. No problems really, I am coming to Thailand alone for a selfish holiday with her blessing, works for us.

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Wifey would'nt live anywhere other than Thailand otherwise we'd be living in Spain, i respect her wishes and her reasons why.

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4 hours ago, Pumpuynarak said:

Wifey would'nt live anywhere other than Thailand otherwise we'd be living in Spain, i respect her wishes and her reasons why.

How does she know if she's never left? (Unless it's a family thing and she is the appointed carer?)

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7 minutes ago, roomark said:

How does she know if she's never left? (Unless it's a family thing and she is the appointed carer?)

Live and left are very different, she's been to England and likes it for a holiday but like me does'nt want to live there, her home is Thailand where she is more than happy. The fact that she has an ailing aging mother is also of paramount importance.

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Wifey would'nt live anywhere other than Thailand otherwise we'd be living in Spain, i respect her wishes and her reasons why.
We left the Costa Del Sol 2 weeks ago. It was warm sunny with a blue sky. Drove north and it got cooler and cloudier; and wetter as we got to Rouen. Now back in Scarborough, cold, raining and miserable. Spains the best.
Just got my O visa for Thailand, will winter there.

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Shes got 2 coats on today for a blustery walk around the marine drive at Scarborough. I reluctantly agree to go in the hope it keeps her out of the shops. The white shopping bag is evidense that that didn,t work. :)ebdf33121a0b7a91beaabbf50300e6d5.jpg37efb21cd00e8660c4419c513343ae36.jpg

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My wife and I lived over 10 years in SE Texas.  As you do, we ended up with many Thai/Farang families as friends, from gatherings at the local Thai temple or festivals, etc.  It was interesting to me that most of the Thai wives and one Thai husband (yes, it happens) did not plan to return to Thailand, other than for visits.  My wife had no problem and even enjoyed living in the US, but we always planned to move to Thailand when it made sense financially.

We both miss Texas (I'm sure I do more than her), and since so many of our friends from the US visit Thailand yearly, we can regularly see them and they usually contact us before they come over to see if there is something from there that they can bring us.  Works out well.

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I can’t get mine to go back for a holiday for f**k sakes.

She drives,which is huge.She can go where she wants,when she wants.

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37 minutes ago, Skalliwag said:

I can’t get mine to go back for a holiday for f**k sakes.

She drives,which is huge.She can go where she wants,when she wants.

I taught miy wife to drive in the US, and she got her license.  She only had a motorcycle licensee in Thailand before she moved over.   When we moved to Thailand, she freaked out about how Thais drive.  It's been a few years, so now we're both used to it.

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