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How does your wife or girlfriend handle living away from Thailand.


KhunDon

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12 hours ago, KhunDon said:

As far as I know, none of my wife’s Thai friends here in the UK are into any form of gambling, the vast majority of them including my wife, don’t even drink alcohol.  As for my wife, she’s got plenty of money of her own, so doesn’t need to ask me to buy her anything. In fact, over the years we’ve been married, she’s spent 10’s of thousands of pounds on gifts for me and not expected anything in return. One time, she even bought me a new car. 
Many of her friends have money of their own and also have family businesses, several of which are large and very profitable with their English husbands and all lead busy lives, so don’t get to sit around on their asses playing one-upmanship. 

Of course there are always exceptions in any social gatherings, but my wife and her friends know which Thai women to steer clear of, so they are not invited into their circle. Ex Hookers, gamblers and heavy drinkers, almost certainly wouldn’t get a look into her group, not to say they are bad people, just that they become trouble sooner or later.
I think the type you are talking about tend to attract others of the same ilk, but sensible Thai ladies (which are the majority of those Thai women I’ve met here) know instinctively to steer clear of wronguns, wether they are Thai or any other nationality. 
So in answer to your question “don’t you think that’s dangerous”. My answer is, in my case, no. 👌🤗  
 

That's good Don...

BUT is that not what a marriage is meant to be about , both having your own money and sharing?

Anything less and I wouldn't want to know any women of any culture no matter where they are from ..

Never understood any man who lets a woman sit at home while he grafts his bollocks off to provide everything whilst the lazy bitch sits at home doing nothing..

Personally that would get me angry i'd rather be alone, imagine having kids (of school age or older) and them seeing a lazy ass mother like that not a good example.

 

Edited by roomark
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17 hours ago, KhunDon said:

As far as I know, none of my wife’s Thai friends here in the UK are into any form of gambling, the vast majority of them including my wife, don’t even drink alcohol.  As for my wife, she’s got plenty of money of her own, so doesn’t need to ask me to buy her anything. In fact, over the years we’ve been married, she’s spent 10’s of thousands of pounds on gifts for me and not expected anything in return. One time, she even bought me a new car. 
Many of her friends have money of their own and also have family businesses, several of which are large and very profitable with their English husbands and all lead busy lives, so don’t get to sit around on their asses playing one-upmanship. 

Of course there are always exceptions in any social gatherings, but my wife and her friends know which Thai women to steer clear of, so they are not invited into their circle. Ex Hookers, gamblers and heavy drinkers, almost certainly wouldn’t get a look into her group, not to say they are bad people, just that they become trouble sooner or later.
I think the type you are talking about tend to attract others of the same ilk, but sensible Thai ladies (which are the majority of those Thai women I’ve met here) know instinctively to steer clear of wronguns, wether they are Thai or any other nationality. 
So in answer to your question “don’t you think that’s dangerous”. My answer is, in my case, no. 👌🤗  
 

Spot on assessment Don....wifey took good care of me when we were back in Bangkok. She offered to buy my SUV for me, but since she made my transition and all there flawless and had my back,  bought me everything I needed to be happy there, gym membership, and on and on, I bought it. Now that we are here, I buy everything for her. She has her Driver license now in Calif and she has "girls night out" on occassion with a few friends here. All good. She likes it here alot, no doubt about it, but does miss some things from back home. 

Loves the mountains here, and likes Corona Beer!  We are heading out Sunday to Mt. Lassen and Lake Almanor, I am going to surprise her and rent a boat for the lake if possible. Looking forward to getting out of the city a bit, and with Covid, the mountains and lakes are the place to be right now. 

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15 hours ago, roomark said:

That's good Don...

BUT is that not what a marriage is meant to be about , both having your own money and sharing?

Anything less and I wouldn't want to know any women of any culture no matter where they are from ..

Never understood any man who lets a woman sit at home while he grafts his bollocks off to provide everything whilst the lazy bitch sits at home doing nothing..

Personally that would get me angry i'd rather be alone, imagine having kids (of school age or older) and them seeing a lazy ass mother like that not a good example.

 

I’ve been retired for 20+ years and my wife hasn’t “worked” in the normal sense since she came to UK back in early 2000’s but that’s because she doesn’t need to. If she decided to work, then I wouldn’t stop her, but it’s her choice, besides, it’s good to spend time together during the day rather than just in the evenings/weekends as most working families have to. 
But that doesn’t mean she sits on her ass, (thank heavens) she’s on the go all day with her various interests and since we had our son 10 years ago, she never seems to stop running around.
 
If I’m rough (which has been a lot over the years) nothing I need doing is too much trouble for her. It seems she knows what’s needed before I need it and she does it without any fuss or problems. 

This Covid shite has slowed us down a bit, but she still manages to fill her day, especially as our son has been off school for months and we have had to take on his education at home, but if anything, we’ve grown stronger as a family as we’re  forced to stay in lockdown. 
 

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On 7/30/2020 at 12:43 PM, roomark said:

Never understood any man who lets a woman sit at home while he grafts his bollocks off to provide everything whilst the lazy bitch sits at home doing nothing..

Personally that would get me angry i'd rather be alone, imagine having kids (of school age or older) and them seeing a lazy ass mother like that not a good example.

Mate, if you have 3 kids the wife is plenty busy enough. Daily marketing, bring them to school, cooking, bring them to their occupations (gym, dance, music, sport..) 

Call me old style but for me the wife takes care of the kids and the house, I take care of the income.

But I agree that without any kids and 30 y old , yes she should work IMO .

 

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1 hour ago, Thai Spice said:

Mate, if you have 3 kids the wife is plenty busy enough. Daily marketing, bring them to school, cooking, bring them to their occupations (gym, dance, music, sport..) 

Call me old style but for me the wife takes care of the kids and the house, I take care of the income.

But I agree that without any kids and 30 y old , yes she should work IMO .

 

I've got two lads.. both junior and high school age..

No excuses in 2020 unless of course you are a Rock Star , Footballer , King / Queen , Lottery winner or retired.

 

Edited by roomark
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My wife may be a little bored presently as she is on furlough and she really wants to work to earn more. The opportunity and ability to earn by living in the UK has put the most smiles I have ever seen on her but being on furlough is seen as a negative rather than a positive, she misses work.

If I even talk about living in Thailand again she gets annoyed, she loves it here and is very excited about the prospect of moving to a new house and the opportunities that will arise.

I am really the lazy one, I am no longer working and at 65 I suppose I could hang up my boots but will work part time if need be but I am a great house husband.

I think it is lovely that some of you are married to women with the ability to buy you cars etc, I have never been in that position or ever likely to but my wife will do her bit for our family and I knew she was 'that good woman' when I met her and later married her.

Hope to be in pastures new within 5 weeks and we are both excited about that, it's all moving fast although telling her company, who are expecting her back to work in September, that she is handing in her notice may disappoint them especially as she has been on furlough for over 4 months. 

Times are interesting but not in the least scary.

Edited by Horizondave
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Good luck with your move and new home @Horizondave👍

We’ve done it several times in the last 20 years and each time was more exciting than the last, but hopefully, considering the money we’ve both poured into this house to make it how we want it as our home, this is the last move we will have to make. 🤗

 

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11 hours ago, Horizondave said:

My wife may be a little bored presently as she is on furlough and she really wants to work to earn more. The opportunity and ability to earn by living in the UK has put the most smiles I have ever seen on her but being on furlough is seen as a negative rather than a positive, she misses work.

If I even talk about living in Thailand again she gets annoyed, she loves it here and is very excited about the prospect of moving to a new house and the opportunities that will arise.

I am really the lazy one, I am no longer working and at 65 I suppose I could hang up my boots but will work part time if need be but I am a great house husband.

I think it is lovely that some of you are married to women with the ability to buy you cars etc, I have never been in that position or ever likely to but my wife will do her bit for our family and I knew she was 'that good woman' when I met her and later married her.

Hope to be in pastures new within 5 weeks and we are both excited about that, it's all moving fast although telling her company, who are expecting her back to work in September, that she is handing in her notice may disappoint them especially as she has been on furlough for over 4 months. 

Times are interesting but not in the least scary.

In a similar situation my Mrs never had any real money ( having to raise a son on her own plus sick mother and a father that is physically knackered from working on the farm all his life ) but a real work ethic 

We are looking seriously at another place that is available but not on the market that is 500m from the supermarket and bus route in to town 15 minutes walk to her work and on the flat ground ,the down side is its a at least 80 year Old villa and I would want to spend at least $100k on re cladding and insulation plus she would want a more modern kitchen and I want a double garage but do I want a mortgage  its govt valuation is 1.2m and I would get it well less than 1m , but do I need a mortgage at 65

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20 hours ago, Nickrock said:

“but do I need a mortgage at 65“

The short answer to that is NO. IMHO.

I haven’t had a mortgage since my mid 20’s thank heavens. 
I dread to think what having one hanging around my neck at 67 would feel like. 
I see some friends in their mid 40’s with mortgages and the struggles they go through, just to make the payments each month.

I don’t know much about the US house purchasing market, but shelling out 100K$ on top of a mortgage seems a lot and would you get it back if you had to sell it within a few years, due to unforeseen circumstances. But that’s just my opinion, what do I know. 🤪

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2 hours ago, KhunDon said:

The short answer to that is NO. IMHO.

I haven’t had a mortgage since my mid 20’s thank heavens. 
I dread to think what having one hanging around my neck at 67 would feel like. 
I see some friends in their mid 40’s with mortgages and the struggles they go through, just to make the payments each month.

I don’t know much about the US house purchasing market, but shelling out 100K$ on top of a mortgage seems a lot and would you get it back if you had to sell it within a few years, due to unforeseen circumstances. But that’s just my opinion, what do I know. 🤪

Its not US $ but South Pacific micro dollars from sheepshaggerstan 

I would be getting it for $750k including the 100k government rateable value is 1.1 to 1.2m 

Reason its that discounted is im a close relative that is one of his benificiaries when he dies ,and the house is way too big for him now and he would like to help a couple of nephews ( no kids) get a place if their own 

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  • 11 months later...

Since marrying our path has been Thailand > Japan > Thailand > Japan > USA > Japan > USA. All for at least 2 years each. And my step-daughter has been along for the journey. Both of them prefer Japan. Next year the wife and I will retire and move back to Thailand and the step-daughter is headed to Japan. Been a pretty rough journey at times but we’re still together and no end in sight. 

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49 minutes ago, Storekeeper said:

Since marrying our path has been Thailand > Japan > Thailand > Japan > USA > Japan > USA. All for at least 2 years each. And my step-daughter has been along for the journey. Both of them prefer Japan. Next year the wife and I will retire and move back to Thailand and the step-daughter is headed to Japan. Been a pretty rough journey at times but we’re still together and no end in sight. 

Where in Thailand?

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3 hours ago, Krapow said:

Where in Thailand?

We have houses in Taphan Hin, Phichit and Pattaya. And a plot of land in Ban Phe, Rayong.  But … our final retirement location in Thailand is TBD. The youtubers have us curious about Prachuap Kiri Khan, Hua Hin, Cha’am side.

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We’ve been married here in California since 2009.  After a few months here, she was crying because she was homesick and lonely.  This was before all the free video apps and all.  She stuck it out, made a few Thai friends and worked in several Thai restaurants under the table. I told her she would regret it when she gets old but she didn’t believe me until I retired.  She lost her restaurant job with the Covid shutdown and so did I taking an early retirement at 56. I get my pension plus Social Security and VA disability and she now sees the reason for a legitimate job. She got a job with a temp agency at a wine label factory.  The plant liked her work and she ended up getting hired as a regular employee as a machine operator and she will make close to $100,000 this year. She just socks it away, sending around $300 a month to Grandma and another $300 for her car payment.

I told her she doesn’t need to work, but she wants her own money and retirement.  I took a hit on my retirement (about 50%) but it will pay until we’re both dead.
Now, in her free time she is prepping for her citizenship test, I quizzed her this morning and she passed.  
 

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5 hours ago, Whitespider said:

My wife moved to the UK 20 years ago. Within 72 hours she had an NI number and a job, both unbeknown to me. She had luckily bumped into a TG in our local corner shop who had helped her.

Things were a lot easier then and she had full citizenship after 12 months with no need for exams etc.

My advice to anyone would be to encourage them to meet other Thais there. A visit to any Chinese supermarket usually throws up a few.

One thing I will never forget - 

When she got her first pay packet it was £123? She was so excited and said to me “I have never made so much money in a month”. When I told her that was for one WEEK she almost passed out 🙂 

Not sure about that, you sometimes see obvious wrong uns clip clopping around in massive high heels and inappropriately dressed for shopping in the middle of the day in the one near me.

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12 hours ago, Storekeeper said:

We have houses in Taphan Hin, Phichit and Pattaya. And a plot of land in Ban Phe, Rayong.  But … our final retirement location in Thailand is TBD. The youtubers have us curious about Prachuap Kiri Khan, Hua Hin, Cha’am side.

Yea, i've long said the only two places i think i could live in Thailand would be Hua Hin or Sattahip way.

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