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Scooters, Secrets, Keys


tommy dee

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True story.

My wife Sai used to work with me in the Office.

One day she happened to look at the cctv and points to the screen of Reception and excitedly almost shouts out

"Isn't that...............?"

It is the view of a very well known Bar/GoGo  owner/Manager checking out with a ladyboy whose Thai wife happened to be a friend of Sai's but fortunately not a close friend.

I opened the door between the office and Reception and said

"Morning ........"

" I'm not here!"

"No, of course your not."

"thanks mate."

"No problem."

"Sai,  ...............'s not here!"

"Oh shit." 🤣

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1 hour ago, Jambo said:

Possibly a joint collaboration between Larry and I could produce a winner full of stories that most would think of as fiction except they would all be true!

I think I still have plenty of material gathering dust somewhere. 😀

Where / how do I pre-order ?

 

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My personal favourite Larry moment.

He and I were sitting with I think a newbie who was asking questions and Larry was talking about the girls in Secrets and one in particular. Larry suddenly says to the guy

"Yeah, I could have eaten the peanuts from her shit."

I pissed myself laughing as much as anything because of the look on this guys face coming to terms with that concept. 🤣

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22 hours ago, jezza said:

secretsgate was a good read on the flb board and as it turned out it  was all was true.

Larry has many really funny stories to tell mostly from the Bar and I have a good number mostly from the hotel side.

But if we wrote a book together an appropriate work in progress title might well be "The Good, the Bad and the really Ugly."

The good was really good but the bad became really ugly thanks to a certain poker addiction. Sorry, I meant "lifestyle" addiction which is apparently sounds more socially acceptable even though either kept me awake at night wondering how I was going to pay the wages.

Lets stay with the good.

I doubt if there is anybody in the hotel world who used to get reservation email requests like I did at Secrets.

How many lady boys can I bring back? One guy and two ladyboys is a frightening combination for me to think about but whatever floats your boat. 😀

We had one regular customer who asked me to buy one of those full length mirrors you get in clothing stores and add the cost to his next bill. We used to store it away in the Housekeepers room then wheel it out everytime he checked in so it was standing at the end of his bed. 

I received an email from a guy from Norway who had stayed the month before and settled a very big account in the bar at checkout. His email was roughly the following:

" Your dancer "@@@@@" is a big cheat and a liar. She stay with me for 10 days and I give her lots of money and 10 baht of gold. She tells me that she loves me and I ask her to marry me and come back to Norway but she not reply to any of my messages and I cannot get through to her on the telephone. Can you get her to phone me."

I of course sent an appropriate response asking if apart from that did he have a good time and then received the following reply

"Mr Danny, can you explain "are you pulling my plonker as I not understand?"

He came back 3 months later a somewhat wiser man. 😀

 

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Not sure if it was under your regime or Allen before you the guy in the hotel that wanted to check out and when they checked his room there was shit everywhere on the duvet on the pillow cases on the sheets on the blanket and he couldn't understand why he was getting charged for all of that. He absolutely had to wipe his ass on every part of that bed for it to be all over fucking funny. Or the night I was called to reception a ladyboy was fighting with a gentleman of Indian persuasion he wouldn't give her the phone back the police came and all the staff in the lobby they were fighting back and forth in the police asked what the problem was. The ladyboy said of course he won't pay me.

 

The gentleman said we didn't do anything there's no need to pay you and the lady boy piped up loud enough for everybody to hear everywhere bullshit you f**k me twice. They say you can't make that shit up well you can't

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5 hours ago, Yesitisdakid said:

Not sure if it was under your regime or Allen before you the guy in the hotel that wanted to check out and when they checked his room there was shit everywhere on the duvet on the pillow cases on the sheets on the blanket and he couldn't understand why he was getting charged for all of that. He absolutely had to wipe his ass on every part of that bed for it to be all over fucking funny. Or the night I was called to reception a ladyboy was fighting with a gentleman of Indian persuasion he wouldn't give her the phone back the police came and all the staff in the lobby they were fighting back and forth in the police asked what the problem was. The ladyboy said of course he won't pay me.

 

The gentleman said we didn't do anything there's no need to pay you and the lady boy piped up loud enough for everybody to hear everywhere bullshit you f**k me twice. They say you can't make that shit up well you can't

We had a number of instances with ladyboys that I had to get involved with solving.

I used to send out a standard email in response to new reservation inquiries which included the fact that we made no additional charge for overnight invited guests of our customers. It included the following wording:

"All such overnight guests will be required to lodge their legal (Thai) ID Card with Reception for the duration of their stay."

The reference to "legal" was that we checked to see that the guests were not below the minimum legal age it had nothing to do with the gender of the person.

Caveat emptor - let the buyer beware.

The number of times I had "discussions" with customers about

" You (Reception) should have checked that she/him/it was a ladyboy. "

"Nothing to do with us mate. We just check "she" is not under age." 🤣

One very noteable one was a regular customer well known to both you and particularly Phil who b/fined "George" our ladyboy bartender. To say he was unhappy with our leader was the understatement of the year. "Up the Baggie's."

Not all problems in Reception were at all amusing.

I was asked to speak to a lady in Reception who was crying her eyes out. She met one of Secrets Hotel customers in a bar the previous night and agreed to spend the night with him and 2,000 baht had been agreed. In the morning he gave her 500 baht and refused to give her any more.

It was the customers first night in the hotel and he was unknown to me.

I  went up to the room with the girl to find the door opened by a young guy in his boxer shorts. We had a discussion which basically ended with me telling him to look good and pay the girl the other 1,500 baht he had agreed. Eventually he went to his wallet, took 1,500 baht out and threw it on the floor at the girls feet. She burst into tears once again so I picked up the money and took her downstairs, apologised to her and made sure she accepted the money. I asked Reception to find a taxi to take her home. I then went back upstairs and told him he hd 30 minutes to pack and leave the hotel

Most customers were great.

There is always the odd exception.

There was the block booking from South Africa who took 15 or so of the rooms for 3 nights to celebrate a 50th birthday of their employer.

On day two the host told me that they were checking out because they did not like Thai girls and one of them had a problem with Reception in getting  a Russian girl into the hotel who could not produce her passport. I explained that Reception were merely safeguarding both the Hotel and the customer. To which he said to my face

"You ( that's me) do not know how to treat customers of quality."

I am normally very polite to all customers but I recall this was one occasion I made an exception and definitely no refunds for checking out a day early. 😀

 

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, Jambo said:

[...]

Not all problems in Reception were at all amusing.

I was asked to speak to a lady in Reception who was crying her eyes out. She met one of Secrets Hotel customers in a bar the previous night and agreed to spend the night with him and 2,000 baht had been agreed. In the morning he gave her 500 baht and refused to give her any more.

It was the customers first night in the hotel and he was unknown to me.

I  went up to the room with the girl to find the door opened by a young guy in his boxer shorts. We had a discussion which basically ended with me telling him to look good and pay the girl the other 1,500 baht he had agreed. Eventually he went to his wallet, took 1,500 baht out and threw it on the floor at the girls feet. She burst into tears once again so I picked up the money and took her downstairs, apologised to her and made sure she accepted the money. I asked Reception to find a taxi to take her home. I then went back upstairs and told him he hd 30 minutes to pack and leave the hotel

And it was things like that, that gave the hotel also a favourable reputation with the ladies.

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1 hour ago, Jambo said:

Well that is it - Hotel closed certainly for good as 'Secrets."

One last piece of nostalgia that regular customers of the Bar will remember kicked off the good times each night.

 

The day Gerry Rafferty died I started the girls off with Baker Street they looked at me like I was crazy I didn't try to explain it to them because they wouldn't understand

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