A few memories of Kenya....

[Mr. Smooth]

I recently returned from a 2 week trip to the Kenya Coast, just north of Mombasa. I stayed in a rapidly growing beach town called, Mtwapa. It can be considered the "Pattaya" of Kenya I suppose for all the girls available, though not "the in your face" atmosphere that Pattaya provides with the numerous beer bars and agogos, with scantily clad women stand outside with come hither smiles and vague promises of the delights that await the curious interloper if he enters.

No, rather in Mtwapa, there is a more subtle scene, but make no mistake, the women you come across are very much interested. But for the vast majority of the time, they have the attitude where they allow you as the man to take the lead as if performing some old version of chivalry, though in reality, why they are letting you think and behave that way, it is really them who in their own way, are in control the entire time.

It creates a very enjoyable dicotomy in this hobby. In Mtwapa, and Kenya in general, I've found that it is the hunter who is, in fact, the hunted.

This last trip had a dark cloud of negativity hanging over it from the start and it all felt like an aborted mission, leaving a less than desirable result. Not from the girls, but just involving the cancellation of return flights, the closing up of basically all nightlife venues, the suspension of flight operations due the the coronavirus pandemic, and the mad dash I had to go through to just return home, for which I was extremely lucky.

A couple of days after my Emirates flight arrived from Dubai to San Francisco, I was informed that they had halted all flights in and out of Kenya. I was literally on one of the last planes out.

So, rather than simply report on this most recent trip, I thought I would post some pics and commentary on previous trips as well, and for those who might ever contemplate going somewhere else and, just as important, have an attraction for the "well tanned brunettes", of East Africa, I'll try to post some of the women, hotels, food and beaches that are there, as well as my overall take on the attitude of the women themselves.

And maybe provide a bit of a diversion to all the serious business going on in the world, and this board, involving the battle to defeat this virus that has basically shut down the world's economies and put all of our travels in a holding pattern for the immediate time frame.

But when the travel situation does reopen, the girls of East Africa will be more than willing to make your acquaintance and provide you with as memorable experience as any that you have had anywhere else.

After 8 years of visiting, it sure has for me.

 An example....a couple ladies who I've "crossed paths" with on previous trips. The one in the t-shirt is actually from Kampala, Uganda. Both were sexy as hell and very engaging to chat with due to their speaking English in their "Queen's english" accent. Was music to my ears, among other body parts!

 

 

[Mr. Smooth]

One of my favorite places to stay was the Kahama Hotel, a very short walk to the beach. The first one was working there at the sports bar, and in order for her not to get in trouble with "dating" a customer staying there, as they like to refer to it as, we had to do some secretive planning on her day off. The other, a massage girl, spent a few days with me and got very comfortable in the hotel room enjoying the size and comfort of the bed whether I was next to her or not.

I should point out that in all my trips there, in just one instance, was money ever discussed prior to returning to my room or apartment. The attitude with them has always been to "be fair" when they left the next morning. And I mean closer to noon and not some 6 am runner after the phone rings with some "family emergency" that they need to go immediately.

[Mr. Smooth]

To the mods....if the bikini pic in the previous post is a bit over the top, then delete it. I will not post any naked or topless pics here. Everything will be within the boundaries of decent taste.

[Mr. Smooth]

Another with the massage girl and a look at the standard room at the Kahama Hotel. Very spacious, huge bed and bath, flat screen a mosquito net over the bed, and at $50 USD per night at the time, I thought a very good value. The staff was extremely polite and competent, African hospitality at it's best.

I was warned to close the windows when I left the room as there were monkeys roaming the grounds outside and were known to slip inside a room if the window was left ajar, and make off with any belongings from a guest.

I always made sure to keep my wallet and passport in the locked safe inside the wardrobe closet.

[Golfingboy]

Nice report sir, TFP. 
Inquiring minds want to know......what kind of taxi money is required for these beauties ?

[Mr. Smooth]

2 hours ago, Golfingboy said:

Nice report sir, TFP. 
Inquiring minds want to know......what kind of taxi money is required for these beauties ?

In the beginning, I would give them 2000 shillings, $20 USD at the 100/1 exchange rate. In the last few years, I would usually fold up 2500 shillings and slip it into their purse while they were in the shower. The rate on this last trip I was getting 101/102, on the dollar, so the currency has remained very steady against the dollar all these years.

And no bar fines to pay either, everyone is either a free lancer or a semi-pro wishing to supplement their salary from their regular job. Getting a phone or whatsapp number from a lady at her job, be it a salon, a restaurant, a hotel receptionist, a service girl at a pub....proved all quite easy to collect and make a plan for that night or whenever her day off might be.

[Mr. Smooth]

Security is very important. Whether security checking the trunks and undercarriage of arriving vehicles or hotels doing the same, security guards standing outside the local mall would wand each person prior to entering. On this last trip, they were taking everyone's temperature by aiming their device at your forehead and then squeezing a dollop of hand sanitizer so you could rub your hands.

In Old Town Mombasa, the narrow streets made for an interesting walk. The girl in the bikini came with me and wore a sexy red shirt and cut off jean shorts and was quite a contrast to all the muslim women walking around covered up in their traditional religious garb.

While standing in the middle of one of Old Town's streets, I snapped a pic of the oldest mosque in East Africa, going back to the 1570's. Turning around, I took a pic of a banner displaying a different sort of entity, not quite as old as the mosque, but no doubt has nearly just as many devotees.

[Mr. Smooth]

This one was the reason for me visiting Kenya for the first time. The plan was for her to stay with me for the entire time. She had warned me of the aggressive nature of Kenyan women, how in clubs even if you were with someone, they would still try to get your attention.

She lasted about 4 full days before deciding to return to Nairobi. At first, I didn't want her to leave but after getting my feet wet and exploring the area and seeing the wide range of beauties all over the place, it was probably best she left.

Since, I've spent time both wifed up and being a free agent. Variety is the spice of life and there's plenty of seasonings to taste on the Kenya Coast.

[Bazle]

TFP @Mr. Smooth

I'd be interested in your thoughts on this video: 

 

[Mr. Smooth]

A few more from a previous trip. The first one ran a shop selling small items and fresh fruit, the middle was a Nairobi woman from social media and the last, pictured here at 18, and a hopeless flirt, had a thing for me at first sight. Never did enjoy her charms until a year ago when she was about 22 or 23, and when she left,  I could have kicked myself for not going in earlier. She was a fantastic performer, but also had a child by then and was eager to please in exchange for some shillings because, "baby needed a new pair of shoes".

[Mr. Smooth]

And of course there is the food. Several very good restaurants in the area that cook up both western and Kenyan dishes. Due to Kenya being a mixture of several different regions that influence the food, African, Arab and Indian mostly, the seasonings and spices are numerous and a little pinch is often all you need to flavor up rice, nyoma choma, which is bbq'd meat, plenty of seafood choices and fresh vegetables and fruits.

Many expats living there don't bother with more than an efficiency kitchen, with only a 2 burner hot plate and microwave, as to go out and eat is very inexpensive. The most expensive meals I've had were at beachfront hotel restaurants or bar and grills, where a whole grilled fish, rice, veggies and a side salad might run no more than 800 kes, or $8 USD. And the smaller, more basic Kenyan spots might serve up a coconut rice dish with grilled prawns for as little as 600 kes, or $6 USD.

Just can't beat it for value and satisfaction.

[Yessongs]

Outstanding report buddy, well done. Hotel pricing and a "wife for the night" certainly seem favorable. Great exchange rate for sure. Hotel looks clean. 

Tusker beer? Any good?  

Ok so along the lines of Bazles question and video. Cut to the chase....do you feel relatively safe there as a " Caucasian" as a general rule?  How about the attitudes of the local guys there? They don't seem to mind "our types" taking their girls so to speak for a night? 

Glad you had a good time and made it back safely. 

[Bazle]

10 minutes ago, Yessongs said:

....do you feel relatively safe there as a " Caucasian" as a general rule? 

I think you are being a bit presumptive there! 🙂

[Mr. Smooth]

1 hour ago, Yessongs said:

Outstanding report buddy, well done. Hotel pricing and a "wife for the night" certainly seem favorable. Great exchange rate for sure. Hotel looks clean. 

Tusker beer? Any good?  

Ok so along the lines of Bazles question and video. Cut to the chase....do you feel relatively safe there as a " Caucasian" as a general rule?  How about the attitudes of the local guys there? They don't seem to mind "our types" taking their girls so to speak for a night? 

Glad you had a good time and made it back safely. 

As to the video Bazle asked about.....I simply detest these YouTube wanna be celebrities who film as they are walking around like some news correspondent. In reality, they are just wanting the attention and internet "fame" that such posted videos will give them. There are several of those who have done the same to the DomRep, and we all have seen those who have done it with Pattaya, and I don't mean those "how to live in Pattaya" or "retiring in Pattaya" vids, but the one's that only focus on the naughty nightlife and act as if by videoing the that aspect, they are somehow doing a public service.

This guy doing the Mtwapa vid was only shining a light on a mere thin slice of the underbelly. Those girls on the road waiting for a client, I've walked right past them heading to somewhere else. I seldom ever saw any guy engage them, even a local Kenyan. They are all after a mzungu, or white man, of course, because they will generally get more money than with a local guy, but even still, those women represent a very small percentage of women in appearing on the street at night and advertising.

I have mentioned how there is no need to simply rely on this particular segment of ladies. I never have. Just too many around who actually have real jobs who are looking for a little something extra, and if they do connect with a guy, then they are hoping for a long term deal where they come over to you each night.

As far as feeling "safe", I feel safer there walking the streets at midnight or later, than in my own metro area of Sacramento. I can't tell you how many boda boda guys (motorbike taxi drivers) slow down and ask if I need a ride at night, or how many people in general wave and say "jambo"..hello...when they see me. I've never felt threatened in any way in 8 years of visiting and never felt my safety was in question either. I've been the only white face in a pub with 75 people inside before and felt right at home, just going with the flow.

Regarding the Tusker beer....it is a clear and refreshing lager without any aftertaste like a Singha or Heinekin. They are served in a 500 ml sized bottle, roughly about 16 oz, and in the warm, humid weather, it goes down very well. Some nights I might put away 8 or 9. Generally not quite as cold as a beer served at your regular bar in Pattaya, but good enough in most cases.

The price for a bottle was usually 200 kes ($2 USD) but a few spots had happy hour prices at 180 or even on certain weeknights, as low as 160.

When going out on the piss in Mtwapa, you really don't need to leave your room with more than the equivalent of maybe $20 USD in your pocket. And that includes tip money for your servers.

[Skalliwag]

I really like these types of threads and want to say thank you for posting.

It makes me think about what I might have missed out there.

Keep them rolling if you have more.

Love it.

[Mr. Smooth]

Some random shots. You can set your watch when the goat herd comes down the street everyday at the same time to clear the weeds along the road. The camel is available to ride for a small fee should your inner Sir Lawrence of Arabia wish to emerge. The public beaches, sadly closed at the moment by the government due to the coronavirus, are very popular with the locals, especially the kids in the afternoon when school lets out or as here on a holiday weekend.

The tide takes the sea out at least the length of 5 or 6 football fields and even when standing 300 yards offshore, the water depth might not even reach your thigh. The bottom is a soft, silty texture rather than a coarse grainy sand and the water feels like a luke warm bath tub.

Needless to say, I have spent too many afternoons on the beach relaxing and enjoying the views to count.

[Mr. Smooth]

An example pertaining to the video Bazle posted earlier and my response as to not needing to simply rely on meeting a girl from the street, I met this young lady at the Kahama Hotel reception desk when visiting the sports bar one evening while I was staying at another hotel. Got her number and on her day off spent the day, and part of the evening, together.

I find this approach immensely more satisfying in meeting someone rather than the street women. Gives you a chance to show off a bit of game, flirt and gauge their personality. And she is sizing you up as well.

Most times, it makes for a successful and mutually beneficial get together. A nice GFE for sure.

[Mr. Smooth]

The beaches along the Kenyan coast are among the most pristine I've ever been to. Mostly I've spent time on the coast north of Mombasa, but to the south, or South Coast where Diani Beach is, where the last photo was taken in this group, is a real jewel. With less population and development, as well as being more spread out up and down the coast, the peaceful and serene surroundings with a lack of both people in general, and the beach touts specifically, are just hypnotic in their beauty.

[farangme]

Had that every night in Nigeria for 5 years, no wonder my back's knackered.

[Rompho Ray]

Interesting report and cool pics!

[Mr. Smooth]

I'll wrap this up with a few more ladies who, as Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias once sang, "walked in and out my door", over these past few years, leading up to this most recent trip. Their physical attributes, as well as their intelligence and easy going manner has made my trips to Kenya a rousing success and I certainly have had many more memorable nights that ended on a very positive note the following morning than I have had in Thailand in the time that I first began going in 2013. As I mentioned, these girls aren't into the games that so many of us have had to deal with in Pattaya or elsewhere, aren't in it solely for the money, though it does factor in of course, nor do they have the mentality to want to have a new and different guy each night. That's just not the way they roll.

One other distinction that could be a very good thing for members of this group, is that, quite simply, Kenya is a mature man's destination. All these years, I seldom see any guys younger than 40, and the vast majority I would say range from roughly 50-70 years old. Guys who are generally at an age where they would prefer a regular gf and not go out on the prowl every night or two, though some do....ahem!

It is refreshing to not have to deal with the younger crowd, the "ugly American" so to speak, who thinks his shit don't stink and isn't shy about letting everyone within earshot know that, particularly after having a few drinks under his belt. As an American, these idiot blowhards are as insufferable to me as to anyone else from another country. There are also, blessedly, and absence of the "British hooligan" type, that 'roided up knucklehead with the shaved dome and tribal tattoos who are in serious need of being shown a lesson in respecting their hosts. If the guys here who are of a certain age and temperment that like the idea of the negative behaviors that can be so commonplace in Pattaya being practically nonexistent in Kenya, then maybe you would enjoy taking a trip over to have a good look for yourself.

As someone who not only has made nearly a decade worth of visits there, but have plans to rent a place for a few months (visa on arrival, $50 USD for a 90 day stay) after retiring, as well as doing similar in Pattaya during a different part of the year, once you get a lay of the land, I don't think you would regret going.

Gorgeous women, inexpensive food and transport, beautiful beaches, numerous places to get a drink and chat up friends and mates, and a bit less time to get to the Mombasa airport, roughly an hour in moderate traffic, than a taxi takes to generally get to Swampy from Pattaya, to me, Kenya offers a guy all he can hope to want and enjoy when making a trip.

Thanks for coming along on this little journey.

Hakuna matata, my friends!

[Horizondave]

Reminds me of the the holidays I had in Mombasa and Malindi back in the late 70's and early 80's. Loved the place, the beauty of the beaches and the food and beer.  I was with a girlfriend at the time so didn't get much time to appreciate the lovelies that came into the resort most nights.

My favourite place was Malindi where I stayed at Seafarers in Watamu, it was like heaven and I miss the fact that now probably not the safest place to go but would love to go back. Took a trip up to Lamu and then on to Robinson Island where no one but myself and my girlfriend were sunbathing, just got the boat boy to come and get us after a few hours.

Wonderful country and especially enjoyed the drive back to Nairobi through the Tsavo National park despite being told the insurance wouldn't cover any problems.

Thanks for the report, it really made me think of those great memories I have of that great country. Might have to dig some photos out although members won't really be interested in my holiday snaps lol

[Stillearly]

Thanks for taking the time to post , really enjoyed it 👍

[Yessongs]

Thanks again buddy for your excellent pics and narratives. Really a good read here considering all the shit going on in the world today, nice to get away from it and see other parts of the world. 

Well done...

[boydeste]

Looks like a great place to go and something a couple of us were talking about only a few months ago.

Some super sexy looking lovelies there for sure.

Thanks for cheering up what otherwise is a fairly average day in isolation.