Popular Post Jambo Posted May 22, 2020 Popular Post Share Posted May 22, 2020 I was going to write an informative topic on my four months positive experiences of living most of my time now "Up Country" as opposed to visiting every other month for about 10 days at a time. On reflection, I will cut to the chase. I am bored out of my mind with Village life. I miss our wee house in Bangsaray and my comfortable bed. I miss my friends. My two Bangsaray dogs miss their friends. I miss the work I did every day I miss simply talking to other farlangs. I miss the beach. I miss having a couple of beers whenever I felt like it in a bar with other farlangs. I miss going to Siambury"s and buying frozen packs of smoked salmon off cuts, steak pies and Warburtons. I miss the "City" life, warts and all. I love my wife...................................her family, not so much. Looking forward to my trip back to Bangsaray next month. Maybe the dogs will be with me. I so hope the bars are back open I am having a bad day. 😀 11 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thai Spice Posted May 22, 2020 Share Posted May 22, 2020 Pretty well summarized. Hence for me any stay in the jungle is maximum 10 to 14 days. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Esco Posted May 22, 2020 Share Posted May 22, 2020 3 hours ago, Jambo said: I was going to write an informative topic on my four months positive experiences of living most of my time now "Up Country" as opposed to visiting every other month for about 10 days at a time. On reflection, I will cut to the chase. I am bored out of my mind with Village life. I miss our wee house in Bangsaray and my comfortable bed. I miss my friends. My two Bangsaray dogs miss their friends. I miss the work I did every day I miss simply talking to other farlangs. I miss the beach. I miss having a couple of beers whenever I felt like it in a bar with other farlangs. I miss going to Siambury"s and buying frozen packs of smoked salmon off cuts, steak pies and Warburtons. I miss the "City" life, warts and all. I love my wife...................................her family, not so much. Looking forward to my trip back to Bangsaray next month. Maybe the dogs will be with me. I so hope the bars are back open I am having a bad day. 😀 Is there no bar in the vicinity? In Buriram I hop on my bike and go for a couple whenever the mood takes me. I dont get bored but enjoy doing stuff online from researching stocks to learning Thai and watching movies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcfc2007 Posted May 22, 2020 Share Posted May 22, 2020 (edited) Thanks for sharing Jambo. I took my first ever trip to Isaan last November and loved it. The air just felt cleaner, lots of greenery around, and to my surprise international food really wasn't hard to find at all. I think the biggest problem I would have living in the sticks would be living so far away from an international airport. Edited May 22, 2020 by dcfc2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yesitisdakid Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 15 hours ago, Jambo said: I was going to write an informative topic on my four months positive experiences of living most of my time now "Up Country" as opposed to visiting every other month for about 10 days at a time. On reflection, I will cut to the chase. I am bored out of my mind with Village life. I miss our wee house in Bangsaray and my comfortable bed. I miss my friends. My two Bangsaray dogs miss their friends. I miss the work I did every day I miss simply talking to other farlangs. I miss the beach. I miss having a couple of beers whenever I felt like it in a bar with other farlangs. I miss going to Siambury"s and buying frozen packs of smoked salmon off cuts, steak pies and Warburtons. I miss the "City" life, warts and all. I love my wife...................................her family, not so much. Looking forward to my trip back to Bangsaray next month. Maybe the dogs will be with me. I so hope the bars are back open I am having a bad day. 😀 I know another good friend of ours that is not as happy as he thought he would be up country Some how i refrained from the I told you so. 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nickrock Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 I think it depends on where up country you are ,if you really live out in the bookies you would almost need to be a monk but many places are close to a small or mid sized town and I think it wouldn't be too bad for many people ( I'm not one of them) 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grayray Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 before I was stopped from flying[illness] I serious thought I would give up, Chang Rai way, a go, iam quiet happy to go along to get along,but got to have a bolt hole near,so I can just sit and admire the surrounding while having a few cold beers,and just wander off for a ST when the urge is there,know what I mean fellas regards grayray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo Posted May 23, 2020 Author Share Posted May 23, 2020 34 minutes ago, Nickrock said: I think it depends on where up country you are ,if you really live out in the bookies you would almost need to be a monk but many places are close to a small or mid sized town and I think it wouldn't be too bad for many people ( I'm not one of them) I live in a Village community but less than 5 minutes from a very large provincial town center with lots of (Thai) bars, restaurants and shopping centers. It has its own Airport but Nok Air flights are to Don Mueang. I used to see quite a few non-Thai's but they have all disppeared since Covid19 so I stick out as the token farlang and all the bars are closed anyway. The countryside is excellent with quite a few National Parks but there is a limit to how often one wishes to visit the waterfalls or hot springs which, incidently, are all still closed to visitors currently. For the previous two years Sai had been based in Mae Sot then would commute to Bangsaray each month overnight, stay for 5 days then I would drive us both back to Mae Sot where I would stay for a long weekend then drive back to Bangsaray. Sounds complicated but that worked ( for us) okay but was a bit unfair on Sai and I found myself increasingly missing her in between. So I moved me and the dogs to Mae Sot and then the plan was for Sai and I go back for 5 days each month to our house in Bangsaray. Well, Covid19 scuppered that plan and we did not get back for over two months. Apart from my list of items I am missing ( and I AM) the continuous proximity to Sai's family is a major problem. We all know how Thai culture makes family so important. Twice yesterday her Mother left the driveway gate open and let the dogs out because basically the Mother expects others (and Sai in particxular) to do everything for her. Sai recognises the problem but........it is her Mother............and her Mother is not going to change now and I cannot place Sai in a position where she has to chose between her Mother or I as there is only going to be one result! I cannot see any solution other than to revert to our previous arrangement but I will wait until things get more back to some kind of normality back in Pattaya/Bangsaray. Basically, I am (still) a City guy who always enjoyed visiting the countryside but happy to get back to the smoke. Definitely, not the other way round. 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcfc2007 Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 I stayed in Loei City. Lots of beautiful scenery nearby. The city itself has everything you could need. A big C with western takeaway, several bars including a farang managed bar with available women and cheap grub, a hospital, an airport. It had everything I would need to get by but being 1hr flight away from a major international airport is a major downside to me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcfc2007 Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 1 minute ago, Jambo said: I live in a Village community but less than 5 minutes from a very large provincial town center with lots of (Thai) bars, restaurants and shopping centers. It has its own Airport but Nok Air flights are to Don Mueang. I used to see quite a few non-Thai's but they have all disppeared since Covid19 so I stick out as the token farlang and all the bars are closed anyway. The countryside is excellent with quite a few National Parks but there is a limit to how often one wishes to visit the waterfalls or hot springs which, incidently, are all still closed to visitors currently. For the previous two years Sai had been based in Mae Sot then would commute to Bangsaray each month overnight, stay for 5 days then I would drive us both back to Mae Sot where I would stay for a long weekend then drive back to Bangsaray. Sounds complicated but that worked ( for us) okay but was a bit unfair on Sai and I found myself increasingly missing her in between. So I moved me and the dogs to Mae Sot and then the plan was for Sai and I go back for 5 days each month to our house in Bangsaray. Well, Covid19 scuppered that plan and we did not get back for over two months. Apart from my list of items I am missing ( and I AM) the continuous proximity to Sai's family is a major problem. We all know how Thai culture makes family so important. Twice yesterday her Mother left the driveway gate open and let the dogs out because basically the Mother expects others (and Sai in particxular) to do everything for her. Sai recognises the problem but........it is her Mother............and her Mother is not going to change now and I cannot place Sai in a position where she has to chose between her Mother or I as there is only going to be one result! I cannot see any solution other than to revert to our previous arrangement but I will wait until things get more back to some kind of normality back in Pattaya/Bangsaray. Basically, I am (still) a City guy who always enjoyed visiting the countryside but happy to get back to the smoke. Definitely, not the other way round. There are plenty of available hitmen in Thailand for around 100k baht. Just saying... 😉 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skalliwag Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 (edited) I’m feeling ya pain buddy.I couldn’t do it either. We have talked about this at length,Mama and me. I could if.... it was no further than 4-5 hours from Pattaya. It had two very good golf course less than 30 minutes away. We had fertile land so I could farm. Under no circumstances,are any of her family to be there for more than two weeks. Other than that,I’d be good to go.👍 Feeling for ya though brother.Faaarkin tough spot. Edited May 23, 2020 by Skalliwag 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo Posted May 23, 2020 Author Share Posted May 23, 2020 3 hours ago, Yesitisdakid said: I know another good friend of ours that is not as happy as he thought he would be up country Some how i refrained from the I told you so. He and I have had long telephone conversations feeling sorry for one another. 😀 If anything, he is in a somewhat worse situation then I having the village "information" sound system on a pole in the garden of the house right next door! It is a feature of Thai Village life that these start blasting out about 06:00am each morning. We even had that in Bangsaray but there, as in Mae Sot, some considerable distance away. I am convinced that every farlang living "Up Country" is telling porkies when they try to kid everyone, but mostly themselves, that they are having a great time. A great time was leaving the office to go to the bank and getting a beer and a blow job at "Bliss" on the way back. 🤣 2 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steelers4Life Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 I am from a rural area here in the U.S. so when I stay in Sida in Northern Korat, I don't feel so yancy. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumpuynarak Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 I know exactly where you're coming from Jambo, when i first arrived here 13 years ago the plan was to buy land and build a nice gaff in wifey's village. Well after spending some time at wifey's Moma's it very quickly became obvious that i would'nt be happy living in the boondocks (no farang presence) which is over 1 hours drive from civilised Korat. So a compromise was agreed and we ended up in a Korat suburb, thank god. I feel for ya mate and no doubt a solution will be near impossible to find. 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smiler Posted May 23, 2020 Share Posted May 23, 2020 There is nowhere I would rather be than in the village right now BUT I know exactly what you are going through mate. Hang in there, it won't be for much longer - don't waste your time, energy and sanity with shit you can't change. 😇😇😇 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yesitisdakid Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 When I came to Pattaya it was to retire but after about 1 year was offered a job and could not refuse. I came with what I thought would be enough funds to get me to 62 and i would be getting my SS so figured all good. That really did not work out friends tried to convince me that I could live so much cheaper up country somewhere and am sure they were right. I told them Pattaya is where I want to be around the action and partake if i choose to do so. Got lucky with work and never had to think about leaving. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thegrogmonster Posted May 24, 2020 Share Posted May 24, 2020 When I came to Pattaya it was to retire but after about 1 year was offered a job and could not refuse. I came with what I thought would be enough funds to get me to 62 and i would be getting my SS so figured all good. That really did not work out friends tried to convince me that I could live so much cheaper up country somewhere and am sure they were right. I told them Pattaya is where I want to be around the action and partake if i choose to do so. Got lucky with work and never had to think about leaving.Working probably saved you from spending money as well. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yesitisdakid Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 23 hours ago, thegrogmonster said: Working probably saved you from spending money as well. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk no question about that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miko Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 (edited) On 5/23/2020 at 11:06 AM, Jambo said: I live in a Village community but less than 5 minutes from a very large provincial town center with lots of (Thai) bars, restaurants and shopping centers. It has its own Airport but Nok Air flights are to Don Mueang. I used to see quite a few non-Thai's but they have all disppeared since Covid19 so I stick out as the token farlang and all the bars are closed anyway. The countryside is excellent with quite a few National Parks but there is a limit to how often one wishes to visit the waterfalls or hot springs which, incidently, are all still closed to visitors currently. For the previous two years Sai had been based in Mae Sot then would commute to Bangsaray each month overnight, stay for 5 days then I would drive us both back to Mae Sot where I would stay for a long weekend then drive back to Bangsaray. Sounds complicated but that worked ( for us) okay but was a bit unfair on Sai and I found myself increasingly missing her in between. So I moved me and the dogs to Mae Sot and then the plan was for Sai and I go back for 5 days each month to our house in Bangsaray. Well, Covid19 scuppered that plan and we did not get back for over two months. Apart from my list of items I am missing ( and I AM) the continuous proximity to Sai's family is a major problem. We all know how Thai culture makes family so important. Twice yesterday her Mother left the driveway gate open and let the dogs out because basically the Mother expects others (and Sai in particxular) to do everything for her. Sai recognises the problem but........it is her Mother............and her Mother is not going to change now and I cannot place Sai in a position where she has to chose between her Mother or I as there is only going to be one result! I cannot see any solution other than to revert to our previous arrangement but I will wait until things get more back to some kind of normality back in Pattaya/Bangsaray. Basically, I am (still) a City guy who always enjoyed visiting the countryside but happy to get back to the smoke. Definitely, not the other way round. I know exactly where you're coming from @Jambo The closeness of your wife's immediate family, is somewhat alien to us in the West, I am similar to @Pumpuynarak, in that my wife and I agreed , that we would live at least an hour from her immediate family.. I have a dog as well, and.. Initially I was continually instructing my stepson's to close the gate, as if it's left open, the dog could escape, if there was a motorcycle or truck passing by at high speed, then there could be a terrible accident or..soi dogs could walk in.. now.. they do close it, but i still make sure they do.. Maybe.... you or your wife could ask her mother to close the gate, it might work.. after a couple of time, she 'might' start closing it automatically.. Good luck... Edited May 25, 2020 by miko 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo Posted May 25, 2020 Author Share Posted May 25, 2020 39 minutes ago, miko said: Maybe you or your wife could ask her mother to close the gate, it might work.. after a couple of time, she 'might' start closing it automatically.. Good luck... My wife has constantly asked or reminded her Mother to do various things of which closing the gate is just one of them. It is as frustrating for Sai as it is to me but as Sai explains it to me in Thai culture the "Mother" is the matriarch figure to whom the daughters ( four in this case) are expected/required to not only respect but be almost subservient. That does not stop Sai arguing with her Mother but Sai knows deep down that her Mother is never going to change. Very frustrating for both Sai and I particularly as I know I must never place Sai in a position where she has to chose between her Mother and I. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pumpuynarak Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 9 minutes ago, Jambo said: Very frustrating for both Sai and I particularly as I know I must never place Sai in a position where she has to chose between her Mother and I. Makes your situation untenable mate, the only way to manage this is to be far away from the MIL imo. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miko Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 11 minutes ago, Jambo said: My wife has constantly asked or reminded her Mother to do various things of which closing the gate is just one of them. It is as frustrating for Sai as it is to me but as Sai explains it to me in Thai culture the "Mother" is the matriarch figure to whom the daughters ( four in this case) are expected/required to not only respect but be almost subservient. That does not stop Sai arguing with her Mother but Sai knows deep down that her Mother is never going to change. Very frustrating for both Sai and I particularly as I know I must never place Sai in a position where she has to chose between her Mother and I. It has driven me round the bend fella as well.. The mosquitoes love me, and I'm hyper sensitive to their 'kisses', and my stepsons are prone to leaving doors open constantly,so I have to remind them .. As for her choosing between family and her husband, we all know, there is always will be ..a no contest I feel for you mate... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thai Spice Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 19 minutes ago, Jambo said: My wife has constantly asked or reminded her Mother to do various things of which closing the gate is just one of them. It is as frustrating for Sai as it is to me but as Sai explains it to me in Thai culture the "Mother" is the matriarch figure to whom the daughters ( four in this case) are expected/required to not only respect but be almost subservient. That does not stop Sai arguing with her Mother but Sai knows deep down that her Mother is never going to change. Very frustrating for both Sai and I particularly as I know I must never place Sai in a position where she has to chose between her Mother and I. 6 minutes ago, Pumpuynarak said: Makes your situation untenable mate, the only way to manage this is to be far away from the MIL imo. 1 minute ago, miko said: It has driven me round the bend fella as well.. The mosquitoes love me, and I'm hyper sensitive to their 'kisses', and my stepsons are prone to leaving doors open constantly,so I have to remind them .. As for her choosing between family and her husband, we all know, there is always will be ..a no contest I feel for you mate... This seems to be a typical "rural" Thai thing. Read it 1000 times. Never had the problem with the ex (parents are city dwellers, both middle class). A mate of mine married to and BKK exec has zero problem as well. As for my kids vs their mom ...... Honestly I think it is something you have to put strict limitations from the beginning, otherwhile it ends up a nightmare I guess. Miss Indo both parents have passed many years ago, and the rest of the family is very OK, and not invasive. But things were made clear with everybody from day 1. And she also knows that between her and my freedom and livestyle MY choice will be easy. I can't understand guys systematically caving in to everything in the name of "it's their tradition". Feck, what about OUR traditions ? Hell, you give her and the family a better live, so THEY should be gratefull and adapt. Now, go on with the rose tinted glasses and Thailand hater attacks..... 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jambo Posted May 25, 2020 Author Share Posted May 25, 2020 3 minutes ago, Thai Spice said: And she also knows that between her and my freedom and livestyle MY choice will be easy. You would be the very last person I could think of to give me advice. By western standards I am not the best husband in the world but Sai and I have been married for 12 years and the easy choice now would be to be just like you. Except I do not want an ex-wife as I love and respect my wife and our relationship is worth working at as all successful relationships encounter problems from time to time. The answer will almost certainly come from my personal use of our house in Bangsaray. Regular trips back down south will give us both room to breath. I know it will be very hard for you but PLEASE do not post on any topic of mine and particularly, this one. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thai Spice Posted May 25, 2020 Share Posted May 25, 2020 Just now, Jambo said: You would be the very last person I could think of to give me advice. By western standards I am not the best husband in the world but Sai and I have been married for 12 years and the easy choice now would be to be just like you. Except I do not want an ex-wife as I love and respect my wife and our relationship is worth working at as all successful relationships encounter problems from time to time. The answer will almost certainly come from my personal use of our house in Bangsaray. Regular trips back down south will give us both room to breath. I know it will be very hard for you but PLEASE do not post on any topic of mine and particularly, this one. Where did I give YOU any advice ? Your (over) reaction is a give away mate ...... And you last phrase is simply STUPID. OK, I'll make a revised "rosy" version ...... Seriously man, you reacted exactly the same way on the Secrets or new Secrets thread, defending them to the last second, even after been taken for a ride by them ! Wake up. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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