The joys of living "Up Country"

[thegrogmonster]

Install self closing gates?

[Thai Spice]

2 hours ago, thegrogmonster said:

Install self closing gates?

Or train and discipline the dogs a bit ? 😄😄😄😄  Joking laaaaa...

At the jungle house they roam free. They quickly learned the areas to avoid, like near the mosque and so.... 

And no fence, wall or gates at the house. Only very few have them. Mainly the "nouveaux riches" .

[Glasseye]

Dealing with family can be a real heavy weight, especially when you're dealing with "the other halves"" side. I recognized long ago I have limited capacity for dealing with it in close proximity. Just no way I'm going to be shelling out my time and stress bank on in-laws family, cousins, uncles/aunts/grandmas and babysitters. I just don't have it in me. Especially as time begins to be a more precious commodity in life.

[boydeste]

15 hours ago, thegrogmonster said:

Install self closing gates?

@Jambo

I was thinking along the same lines, can't you fit a spring closing system on the gate?

[dcfc2007]

2 hours ago, Glasseye said:

Dealing with family can be a real heavy weight, especially when you're dealing with "the other halves"" side. I recognized long ago I have limited capacity for dealing with it in close proximity. Just no way I'm going to be shelling out my time and stress bank on in-laws family, cousins, uncles/aunts/grandmas and babysitters. I just don't have it in me. Especially as time begins to be a more precious commodity in life.

Some guys will let their Thai in-laws walk all over them, they think it keeps teerak sweet, in reality it just makes the man look weak and stupid. That's when you can see the baht signs in their eyes. 

I sat with a pal and his girlfriends family on the beach to watch the fireworks. It started with just her kids and parents, before long it was cousins etc, I doubt most were even relatives. 

He was sent to the 7/11 three times to buy lots of Leo. None of the thai guys would even help him carry it, but when it came back they cracked open the bottles without asking. 

I asked him what he thought of it all, he's no mug and knew he was being taken for a ride. But the teelak told him 'if you love me you must take care of my family too'. 

[tommy dee]

On 5/23/2020 at 8:04 AM, Yesitisdakid said:

I know another good friend of ours that is not as happy as he thought he would be up country Some how i refrained from the I told you so.

same same.  same friend

 

its nto for everyone, and its not for me.  I would become a hermit

[Nickrock]

I would end up in the monkey house or go postal or get deported to the rubber room

[Aqualung]

2 hours ago, dcfc2007 said:

Some guys will let their Thai in-laws walk all over them, they think it keeps teerak sweet, in reality it just makes the man look weak and stupid. That's when you can see the baht signs in their eyes. 

I sat with a pal and his girlfriends family on the beach to watch the fireworks. It started with just her kids and parents, before long it was cousins etc, I doubt most were even relatives. 

He was sent to the 7/11 three times to buy lots of Leo. None of the thai guys would even help him carry it, but when it came back they cracked open the bottles without asking. 

I asked him what he thought of it all, he's no mug and knew he was being taken for a ride. But the teelak told him 'if you love me you must take care of my family too'. 

Well, I guess I'm lucky as my Thai mother in law is on a different planet. I could only compare her to my own mum. Never once asked 1 satang from me. 

And I've never been so humbled in my life looking at the hard work she did (aswell as other older relatives), preparing for me and the TW wedding last year in May. Bloody unbelievable. 

I can't see that changing in the future... She's cashed up herself and to me she would be embarrassed to ask me and the TW for money. Of course the TW does her family duty and sends mum some baht every month. Nowt wrong with that in my book. 

[tommy dee]

i remember Merv, as many of us do.  ended up bored shitless, on the net all day every day.  didnt speak the local dialect and could only speak to his mrs.  nothing to do and nothing to see.  not my way for sure.  I could see u coming home real soon Danny.  theres no blocks, just drive mate.  escape while u can 😉

[Jambo]

53 minutes ago, tommy dee said:

i remember Merv, as many of us do.  ended up bored shitless, on the net all day every day.  didnt speak the local dialect and could only speak to his mrs.  nothing to do and nothing to see.  not my way for sure.  I could see u coming home real soon Danny.  theres no blocks, just drive mate.  escape while u can 😉

The restrictions imposed by Covid19 are making things worse and until they are lifted throughout Thailand particularly with regard to travel (internal flights) or just as relevent, being able to socialise in a bar with like minded friends, it all remains a bit academic.

We always planned to both visit Bangsaray for 5 days every month as we will on this coming 5th June. If it was "normal" in Bangsaray/Pattaya I think I would have stayed on my own for another week and Sai would have been quite happy to either fly back to Mae Sot from Don Mueang or get the overnight bus. That is basically what she has been doing for the last 2 years until this February except Sai came down on her own and I often took us both back and stayed for a long weekend. I decided to change this arrangement because I was both missing Sai and felt it was not fair on her.

No flights at the moment and I would not want Sai travelling back on an overnight coach from Pattaya via Bangkok whilst Covid19 is around.

I want to leave simply "coming back home" as a last resort. Sai would come with me but there is no doubt that would have a lasting adverse effect on our relationship as it would then be Sai who would become bored very quickly.

It was me that encouraged her to move back to Mae Sot as there is a very big difference in our ages and I will not be around for ever.  In Mae Sot there is (Dad's) family farm on land Sai and her sisters own  and separately Sai has a business with her sister. There is a third sister with another business and they all watch over their Mother who is an insulin user diabetic with a poor memory.  

Simple eh? 🤣

No worries......................I will work it out.

The Dad seems to do not a lot other than raise ( and sell) fighting chickens placing large bets on them in weekend competitions. Not to my taste but to be fair it is not at all like  "cock fighting" in so much as the birds are rarely hurt and the judges immediately rest them if one seems unduly tired. Each bout was decided on "Points" but how they decided a winner is beyond me. I went just the once as the token farang and the betting was ferocious. Her Dad was very unhappy that day as his birds won the first two "bouts" and nobody would let him enter again. 🙂

[KhunDon]

On 5/22/2020 at 10:38 AM, Jambo said:

I was going to write an informative topic on my four months positive experiences of living most of my time now "Up Country" as opposed to visiting every other month for about 10 days at a time.

On reflection, I will cut to the chase.

I am bored out of my mind with Village life.

I miss our wee house in Bangsaray and my comfortable bed.

I miss my friends.

My two Bangsaray dogs miss their friends.

I miss the work I did every day

I miss simply talking to other farlangs.

I miss the beach.

I miss having a couple of beers whenever I felt like it in a bar with other farlangs.

I miss going to Siambury"s and buying frozen packs of smoked salmon off cuts, steak pies and Warburtons.

I miss the "City" life, warts and all.

I love my wife...................................her family, not so much.

 

Looking forward to my  trip back to Bangsaray next month.

Maybe the dogs will be with me.

I so hope the bars are back open

 

 

 

I am having a bad day. 😀

 

 

The wife and MIL are already planning our next visit to them, if and when all this Covid travel ban is lifted. 

First is a month or so in Italy at our place in the hills near Florence. Far enough from the madding crowd, with a cellar full of wines and local food readily available in mom & pop restaurants and no trips to the city. That’ll do nicely. 🙂

Then onto a month or so in Thailand and straight to the farm in Nakhon Sawon, again, way out in the sticks.

Rolling hills, cool breezes, a river that runs through the farm to bathe in, fruit, vegetables and livestock growing all around us on the farm and local shops around 2 miles away and no bars. Heaven. 🤗

l can understand your frustration  @Jambo, but for us, piece and quite is what we love best and luckily, unlike yourself, her family are fantastic people to be with.  
 

Can’t wait. 👍

 

[tommy dee]

this is a great thread and very open and honest.  PLEASE if you have some sarcastic remark to make about thai women, either keep it to yourself or post it eslewhere.,.  we would like to think this thread actually opens eyes too and will continue

 

cheers

 

t

[Esco]

On 5/26/2020 at 4:08 AM, tommy dee said:

i remember Merv, as many of us do.  ended up bored shitless, on the net all day every day.  didnt speak the local dialect and could only speak to his mrs.  nothing to do and nothing to see.  not my way for sure.  I could see u coming home real soon Danny.  theres no blocks, just drive mate.  escape while u can 😉

A good few of those in Pattaya too mate. 

Some people just know better than others how to keep themselves entertained. 

[Nightcrawler]

I know quite a few people who have settled in the country and enjoy the lifestyle. There is a lot to be said for a quieter life and from my limited experience I would say that it is very important to be able to communicate effectively with the locals and family

I say this based on my experience of visiting my wife's home in a small village in Roi Et.  Whilst everyone was hospitable, I very much found myself feeling the odd one out. Also I am a City boy and not used to the countryside and like a fish out of water.

But maybe that was just an initial reaction. 

If I were to consider a life up country, I would have to have Aircon number one plus be able to get ingredients for Western food as well as Laos, and a car so that I could make trips to elsewhere now and again. I am sure that most Westerners living up country will have these things.

Not sure how I would occupy my time

I like the idea of fishing for food. I spent a day out with my wife's father and brother on a fishing trip and thoroughly enjoyed it apart from getting a bit sun burnt. Communication was not easy though.

What impressed me most was the sense of community and everyone seemed to know eachother .

One thing I guess I would have to get used to is the hours. Early to be and early to rise.

But if I could adapt to some of those things then I guess I could be happy if I was happy with my partner.

[Jambo]

15 hours ago, Nightcrawler said:

I know quite a few people who have settled in the country and enjoy the lifestyle. There is a lot to be said for a quieter life and from my limited experience I would say that it is very important to be able to communicate effectively with the locals and family

I say this based on my experience of visiting my wife's home in a small village in Roi Et.  Whilst everyone was hospitable, I very much found myself feeling the odd one out. Also I am a City boy and not used to the countryside and like a fish out of water.

But maybe that was just an initial reaction. 

If I were to consider a life up country, I would have to have Aircon number one plus be able to get ingredients for Western food as well as Laos, and a car so that I could make trips to elsewhere now and again. I am sure that most Westerners living up country will have these things.

Not sure how I would occupy my time

 

How about if you felt "the odd one out" month after month?

You do not speak Thai fluently and neither do I and neither do most expats. So unless there are a good number of expats in the area immediately your social life goes down the shitter.

Even worse, imagine if the one and only expat in the vicinity was Thai Spice? 🤣

Inevitably "Up Country" your range of social persuits is drastically reduced. Particularly, like me, you are a City guy who no doubt enjoyed the occasional visit to the countryside. That is a world away difference to the other way round. One thing is for sure and that is regular visits to the City ( Pattaya via Bangsaray in my case) are going to be essntial once some kind of post Covid19 normality is in Town.

I received a phone call this morning from Larry and my mutual friend who is in a very similar situation to me. He is currently living not far from Korat and we are both encountering the same adjustment problems. Except he is experiencing on average 4 power cuts each week with some of quite long duration and it is not yet the full rainy season. Aircon doesn't work too well wihout electricity and neither do showers when the water is cut off .😀

I eat well because Sai is a good cook and we are self sufficient for fresh vegetables. Yet inevitably I miss the occasional western pig out.

There are a couple of farlang owned restaurants in town but the only really good one, a western Burger/pasta joint, has closed for good. I tend to make do with what I turn out from using the slow cooker or our own BBQ.

But today is another day and the sun is shining, the dogs have been mostly good on their walk and we are promised somewhat cooler weather and showers.

The local branch of my bank  with just two staff on duty were incredibly helpful yesterday and produced a bank statement, on branch headed letter paper, containing my full name and address in Bangsaray for me to send to my pension provider. You have no idea how unlikely I was to get that produced in 20 minutes whilst I waited. Banks in Thailand NEVER usually deviate from standard procedures.