Insults

[Bazle]

These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words ....

"He had delusions of adequacy ."

Walter Kerr

 

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

Winston Churchill

 

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

Clarence Darrow

 

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

 

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."

Moses Hadas

 

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

Mark Twain

 

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

Oscar Wilde

 

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one. "

George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."

Winston Churchill, in response

 

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."

Stephen Bishop

 

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."

John Bright

 

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

Irvin S. Cobb

 

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."

Samuel Johnson

 

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."

Paul Keating

 

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."

Charles, Count Talleyrand

 

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."

Forrest Tucker

 

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

Mark Twain

 

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

Mae West

 

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

Oscar Wilde

 

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination. "

Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

 

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."

Billy Wilder

 

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it."

Groucho Marx

[fygjam]

During a parliamentary debate

Sir Winton Turnbull:  'I am a country member'      (a member of the then Country Party)

Gough Whitlam: ''I remember'

 

[misteregg]

I have heard a Churchill quote.
He was talking in Parliament to a female member of the opposition and she noticed he was drinking whiskey from a very fancy glass

Lady “Prime Minister, if you were my husband I would put poison in your whiskey “

Churchill “madam, if you were my wife I would drink it”

[Freee!!]

Churchill was a man to turn an insult. 

[maipenrai]

3 hours ago, Freee!! said:

Churchill was a man to turn an insult. 

How about the one where he was supposedly accosted at a party by a woman saying, "You are drunk!!" - to which he replied, "Yes, madam - but you are ugly and tomorrow I shall be sober"...

[Freee!!]

20 hours ago, maipenrai said:

How about the one where he was supposedly accosted at a party by a woman saying, "You are drunk!!" - to which he replied, "Yes, madam - but you are ugly and tomorrow I shall be sober"...

Would be his style according to other tales about him.

[thegrogmonster]

20 hours ago, maipenrai said:

How about the one where he was supposedly accosted at a party by a woman saying, "You are drunk!!" - to which he replied, "Yes, madam - but you are ugly and tomorrow I shall be sober"...

He mustn't of had mirrors in is home. He was definitely no oil painting.

[Freee!!]

53 minutes ago, thegrogmonster said:

He mustn't of had mirrors in is home. He was definitely no oil painting.

That wasn't the topic of that discussion, besides that, it didn't handicap him.

[code_slayer_bkk]

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

Mark Twain

This is great ......

[Mrmango]

On 12/4/2020 at 11:39 AM, Freee!! said:

Churchill was a man to turn an insult

At a party, a women confronted Churchill and told him "If I was married to you, I would put poison in your drink"

Churchill responded:

Madam, if we are married, I would drink it"

[lazarus]

"You have a face that only a mother could love...and she died of fright."

[forcebwithu]

1 hour ago, code_slayer_bkk said:

Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

Mark Twain

This is great ......

Love Mark Twain's witticism and sarcasm. The actor Hal Holbrook does a great imitation of him in his Mark Twain Tonight shows. I was fortunate to catch one of his live appearances in Milwaukee years ago.

 

[thumper63]

2 hours ago, forcebwithu said:

Love Mark Twain's witticism and sarcasm. The actor Hal Holbrook does a great imitation of him in his Mark Twain Tonight shows. I was fortunate to catch one of his live appearances in Milwaukee years ago.

 

I didn't see him live but did see the productions on television.  Holbrook did a brilliant job of imitating Mr Twain.

[maipenrai]

11 hours ago, forcebwithu said:

Love Mark Twain's witticism and sarcasm. The actor Hal Holbrook does a great imitation of him in his Mark Twain Tonight shows. I was fortunate to catch one of his live appearances in Milwaukee years ago.

 

He does a wonderful job of this, and had apparently been doing it for decades until he passed away last month at the age of 95 - RIP Hal Holbrook.

[forcebwithu]

5 minutes ago, maipenrai said:

He does a wonderful job of this, and had apparently been doing it for decades until he passed away last month at the age of 95 - RIP Hal Holbrook.

Sad news about his passing. I missed that. Didn't see mention of his passing in the obituary topic. Going to rectify that oversight now.

[Horizondave]

4 hours ago, forcebwithu said:

Sad news about his passing. I missed that. Didn't see mention of his passing in the obituary topic. Going to rectify that oversight now.

Yes sad indeed, another great actor that had graced our screens in varied roles. Been in some great movies.

RIP

[bexwell]

"It's better to say nothing and let people think you're an idiot than speak and leave them in no doubt"

Mark Twain (again).

[Mr. Smooth]

"Sometimes I think the world is a black tie dinner and I showed up wearing a pair of brown shoes."  George Gobel, 

[gs joe]

 

"He was so tight-fisted, it hurt him to go to the bathroom
 

Britt Ekland  on Rod Stewart