Gwyneth Paltrow’s Vagina Candle Exploded

[fygjam]

One zillion years from now, some future archaeologist will read about how a totemic,
flammable wax representation of Gwyneth Paltrow’s vagina exploded in a woman’s home,
and they will think that Gwyn was some sort of angry fertility goddess. And they would be
right. On Monday, January 18, a U.K. woman told the Sun that a “This Smells Like My
Vagina” Goop candle that she won in an online quiz (about what?) damn near burned her
house down after a “50cm flame leapt from the candle and out of the glass jar,” as if she lit
a match near a particularly dry bramble. The literal bomb-pussy victim told the Sun, “The
candle exploded and emitted huge flames, with bits flying everywhere. I’ve never seen
anything like it. The whole thing was ablaze and it was too hot to touch. There was an
inferno in the room.” She eventually got Paltrow’s vagina candle under control by
chucking it out her front door. Goop, for its part, told the New York Post that it has
“alerted the manufacturer to the woman’s issue and have also reached out to her to send
her some goop products to help pass the days in quarantine.” Hopefully these products
come with a WAPfire extinguisher.

[Horizondave]

Probably cheaper to buy a can of tuna and open it.

 

[Freee!!]

29 minutes ago, Horizondave said:

Probably cheaper to buy a can of tuna and open it.

Can of anchovy is even cheaper.

[Horizondave]

1 minute ago, Freee!! said:

Can of anchovy is even cheaper.

Yes but that is usually in Olive Oil and stymies the smell lol.

Edited January 20, 2021 by Horizondave

[coxyhog]

My missus lights a candle in the kitchen after cooking fish to get rid of the smell.

What do these people do,light it & sit there sniffing & wanking?