One of the books I'm reading included quotes by Lt. Gen. Chesty Puller. Seems only fitting to lead off a new topic with a couple of his quotes.

“We’re surrounded. That simplifies the problem.”

“They are in front of us, behind us, and we are flanked on both sides by an enemy that outnumbers us 29:1. They can’t get away now.”

An RUC officer handing me a placcy bag containing my friend's clothes that he was wearing when he was killed. He then handed me his St Christopher Cross saying "It didn't do him much good did it!"

80s RUC humour at its best !

Fukit, I'm outta here - just about anybody at some stage or other

 

Edited May 7, 20224 yr by fygjam

10 minutes ago, Derek Dangleberries said:

An RUC officer handing me a placcy bag containing my friend's clothes that he was wearing when he was killed. He then handed me his St Christopher Cross saying "It didn't do him much good did it!"

80s RUC humour at its best !

St Chris was demoted in 1969 by Pope Paul VI along with 92 others.

Saint Christopher

Among Catholicism’s most popular saints, Christopher was listed as a martyr.

Legend had it he carried a child who grew increasingly heavy across a river -- the child was supposed to be carrying the weight of God.

But there wasn’t enough historical evidence the man ever existed, so Pope Paul VI dropped him.

https://abcnews.go.com/International/saint-saint-kind-demoted/story?id=23477573

 

Major John Sedgwick , famous last words 

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."

11 minutes ago, Stillearly said:

Major John Sedgwick , famous last words 

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."

When my old man was watching sports and someone missed a shot he would say 'He couldn't hit an elephant's arsehole with a mallet'.

Spike Milligan's epitaph

" I told you i was ill "

"Do you still throw spears at each other?"

Prince Philip AKA "Philip the Greek".

He was bloody great, here's a link to some more of his...

https://www.azquotes.com/author/11607-Prince_Philip

also, not sure if true or urban legend, Roger Moore or Sean Connery was supposed to have said to his acting partner prior to a sex scene:

"I apologise if I get an erection, and I also apologise if I don't".

Edited May 7, 20224 yr by Butch

Michael Caine on the Parkinson show referring to girls in mini skirts.

"If its not for sale it shouldn't be in the shop window."

^^^ Reminds me of this quote often attributed to Charlie Sheen.

“I don't pay them for sex. I pay them to leave.”

"The problem with common sense is that sense never ain't common" - Lazarus Long

A famous one

1 hour ago, Butch said:

 

also, not sure if true or urban legend, Roger Moore or Sean Connery was supposed to have said to his acting partner prior to a sex scene:

"I apologise if I get an erection, and I also apologise if I don't".

Reminded of a scene from Alan  Partridge that’s discussed Roger Moore 

as Bond 

 

"Revenge is a dish best served cold" 

Oscar Wilde

“We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.” - Vince Lombardi

 

“I am a great believer in luck. The harder I work the more of it I seem to have.” - Coleman Cox

 

9 minutes ago, fygjam said:

“We didn’t lose the game; we just ran out of time.” - Vince Lombardi

Coach Lombardi had some great quotes.

“Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.”

“The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have.”

“The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.”

"Well, it’s probably better to have him inside the tent pissing out, than outside the tent pissing in." LBJ on JEH

 

2 minutes ago, forcebwithu said:

“The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.”

Reminds me of

"If you looking for sympathy you'll find it in the dictionary between sleaze and syphilis" - unknown

 

2 minutes ago, fygjam said:

Reminds me of

"If you looking for sympathy you'll find it in the dictionary between sleaze and syphilis" - unknown

Another dictionary quote...

"She was so ugly that if you grab a dictionary and look under the word ugly you would see her picture."

Rodney Dangerfield

33 minutes ago, fygjam said:

Reminds me of

"If you looking for sympathy you'll find it in the dictionary between sleaze and syphilis" - unknown

 

Always between shit & syphilis in the RAF.

Life is like a shit sandwich,the more bread you got the less shit you eat.....supposed to have been Confucious but somehow I doubt it.

2 minutes ago, coxyhog said:

Life is like a shit sandwich,the more bread you got the less shit you eat.....supposed to have been Confucious but somehow I doubt it.

"Remember the golden rule. He who has the gold makes the rules" - King in the Wizard of Id

 

3 minutes ago, fygjam said:

"Remember the golden rule. He who has the gold makes the rules" - King in the Wizard of Id

I know that one as Murphy's Golden Rule.

"Murphy was an optimist". - Various.

Love Churchill's famous one where a woman says to him 'You sir are drunk'.

And he replied 'You madam are ugly, but in the morning I'll be sober'.