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Girlfriend working in a bar in Pattaya


bigsteve

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I met my girlfriend/fiancé on a dating site a few months ago. We began talking every day and our relationship became serious. We started sending messages all day every single day and sharing everything with each other. We are now engaged and plan to marry after meeting in person for the first time. I am arranging to visit Bangkok in November where we will tie the knot.

My fiancé works as a nurse at a hospital in Bangkok. About six months into our relationship, she took on a part-time job at a bar in Pattaya to help pay off her student loans. She spends weekends working there and returns to the hospital on Monday mornings. She is doing it to pay off her student loans.

Since I have never been to Thailand, I have been learning about Thai culture online. I came across various posts discussing relationships with Thai bar girls, such as this. Which say that women working in bars in Thailand are all on the game. However, I believe my fiancé is different as even a senior doctor from her hospital is connected to the bar where she works.

I spoke to my fiancé about my concerns, and she reassured me that she only earns money through tips and drinks at the bar. Recently, when a Canadian man approached her, she declined him, and said that it made her feel uncomfortable and scared.

My main query is whether all bar girls engage in certain activities with customers or if my fiancé is genuinely truthful and should be trusted. I am unsure whether the information I found online is accurate or misleading. Although she has never asked me for money, she did mention that in November, I would need to cover the expense for her to take time off work since she used her annual leave previously to care for her sick brother. Is this normal?

Additionally, I need advice on where to stay in Pattaya. I am looking for a reasonably priced hotel. Can you suggest the best location on the island for accommodation?

Thank you in advance.

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Oh My, so much in there to comment on. She could be telling the truth or everything could be a lie. So much of it is stereotypical lies that a conning BG would say which makes me very suspicious.

My first concern is how much money does she make on weekends just on tips, LDs and salary, AFTER her transportation and accommodation is deducted. ?? Not a lot and barely worth it ...

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You've been doing some research on Thai culture. Is that correct? 

All I know is that the ferry fare to the island of Pattaya has become very expensive. 

You would be better visiting Koh Bangkok where your girl spends most of her time.! 

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An engagement before even meeting in person????????????????????

I find that questionable at least. I won't say it won't work, but but I'd say the chances are against it.

 

As for all women in bars in Thailand being on the game, I've met a couple even in tourist oriented bars who weren't, but they are a minority.

 

As for covering her time off, I would do that if I were serious about her as that is (or should be) a relatively minor expense. If you can't afford that, how can you afford a non-working wife back home?

 

And finally, take a good look at the map of Thailand, Pattaya is most certainly not on an island. Or are you confusing Pattaya and Phuket? 

 

8 minutes ago, Derek Dangleberries said:

Oh My, so much in there to comment on. She could be telling the truth or everything could be a lie. So much of it is stereotypical lies that a conning BG would say which makes me very suspicious.

It ticks all the boxes, but it can just as easily be the truth.

9 minutes ago, Derek Dangleberries said:

My first concern is how much money does she make on weekends just on tips, LDs and salary, AFTER her transportation and accommodation is deducted. ?? Not a lot and barely worth it ...

As she is probably staying with a friend/cousin/sister, accommodation shouldn't be an issue and transport can be relatively cheap, so the salary should cover both of these items. If she is any good at it, tips and LDs should make her some money.

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17 minutes ago, Derek Dangleberries said:

She could be telling the truth or everything could be a lie. So much of it is stereotypical lies that a conning BG would say which makes me very suspicious.

Yep, reads like a script.

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17 minutes ago, Freee!! said:

As she is probably staying with a friend/cousin/sister, accommodation shouldn't be an issue and transport can be relatively cheap, so the salary should cover both of these items. If she is any good at it, tips and LDs should make her some money.

Yep, one thousand baht almost covers my daughter for motorcye taxi both ends and bus (x 2) from where she is in Bangkok to Aronothai.... But wouldn't it be easier to just get a PT job in Bangkok ??

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6 minutes ago, Derek Dangleberries said:

Yep, one thousand baht almost covers my daughter for motorcye taxi both ends and bus (x 2) from where she is in Bangkok to Aronothai.... But wouldn't it be easier to just get a PT job in Bangkok ??

Easier yes, but she wants some distance between her place of work and the bar. And that is true in both situations, as she wishes to minimize the risk of encountering someone she knows while she is in the bar because they will think the worst anyway.

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3 minutes ago, Aqualung said:

It's a wind up. Surely?. 

I've got to admit though, I miss these kind of topics. 

The chances are high, but it isn't a certainty, so I am willing to give it a chance. And that nice detail of Pattaya being on an island makes me think it isn't as a wind up usually has that kind of stuff correct.

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2 minutes ago, Freee!! said:

The chances are high, but it isn't a certainty, so I am willing to give it a chance. And that nice detail of Pattaya being on an island makes me think it isn't as a wind up usually has that kind of stuff correct.

The OP states he met this girl a few months ago. How many months would we think a few months is? 3,4 or 5? 

Then he states that 6 months ago she went to find work in Pattaya. 

Im not buying it tbh but I'll go with the flow and see what pertains. 

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4 minutes ago, jezza said:

read private dancer and/or money number 1

Private dancer is a cracking read.

Even though Money Number 1 is dated with Pattaya changing you still hear some of the old chesnuts that are in there being rolled out today. "I only work as a cashier never go with customers."

 

 

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44 minutes ago, Lemondropkid said:

[...]

"I only work as a cashier never go with customers."

I've known two that told the truth about that ... more or less.

The first one occasionally joined a group of colleagues when I took my then regular and a couple of colleagues to a movie. She also joined me for an after hours snack in the bar/lobby of the hotel I was staying one time when I had just broken up with my regular. Nothing ever happened and according to the other girls that was already extremely exceptional.

The second one I once took for dinner together with the mamasan of an A-Go-Go, as they were old friends I hadn't seen in a long time. I knew them from a previous place of employment where they used to be colleagues of two different regulars.  But again, nothing happened.

 

I won't give names, places or dates to protect the guilty, but I will admit I was on pretty good terms with the owner of both places and his wife.

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Hmm nurse in bkk,goes to pattaya (rings alarm bells) pt work in bar,,id facetious her at work in the hospital to see if she really is a nurse,or working bar ft,,doesn't make sense to me,but my advice about the marriage thing without ever meeting her and the rest ,put that off for the moment until you meet her,until you've been to Thailand.

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4 minutes ago, forcebwithu said:

Seems odd we'd have to spell out that advice to a 43 yo who you would think had gained some wisdom about life by that point. Unless someone can vouch for our newest BM, I'm leaning towards the OP being a windup post.

Think we're all sceptical on this one,on the other hand,nothing surprises me 2hen it comes to guys that have never been to Thailand ,guy I used to work with has been messaging me on and off for over a year about Thailand,just can't be bothered with his question s anymore I gave him plenty of info on bkk ,patts,Phuket  north ect ect,jeez he really needs hand holding in his 50s,to nice a guy would get eaten alive by the girls,anyway he's not booked yet keeps going to Turkey lol

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2 hours ago, Freee!! said:

Easier yes, but she wants some distance between her place of work and the bar. And that is true in both situations, as she wishes to minimize the risk of encountering someone she knows while she is in the bar because they will think the worst anyway.

Sorry, I meant ANY type of PT work in Bangkok, 7/11, home nursing!, anything really ... or even OT at the hospital .....

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9 minutes ago, Derek Dangleberries said:

Sorry, I meant ANY type of PT work in Bangkok, 7/11, home nursing!, anything really ... or even OT at the hospital .....

 

Used to do a lot of "weekenders" in San Jose, Costa Rica. Before computer keyboards were in homes. Acutally wrote a couple inked letters to one of the cuties. She had a second mouth to feed. Lovely little trumpet she was.

 

 

5555555555555555555555 !

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The cynic in me (which comes more to the fore every year I'm above ground) says this is a made-up story (though the theme is par for the course) in order to get some publicity for the spook agency linked. Nowhere on that site does it show "various posts discussing relationships with Thai bar girls" as the OP states.

If, by any small percentage, the story is true, I see more red flags than I see on a windy day on Lowestoft beach.

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2 hours ago, Britboy said:

The cynic in me (which comes more to the fore every year I'm above ground) says this is a made-up story (though the theme is par for the course) in order to get some publicity for the spook agency linked. Nowhere on that site does it show "various posts discussing relationships with Thai bar girls" as the OP states.

If, by any small percentage, the story is true, I see more red flags than I see on a windy day on Lowestoft beach.

 

You hit several nails on the head with this ^^^ post mate.

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