Really stupid things we have done in Thailand

[Jambo]

Currently, I am going through a very frustrating period.

My "pending" hip operation continues to prevent me from being able to visit Thailand and thus see those I am missing. All my many photo's help, as does the fact that every couple of days my phone notifies me it has grouped together yet another batch. I find that quite scary.

Too much time on my hands, so inevitably much reminiscing. Lots of good memories of Thailand and, unfortunately, a number I would rather forget. Being members of this forum we are all intelligent and worldly wise. I am, nevertheless, sure that I am not alone in having done something really stupid in Thailand.

In my case, there have been several. Feel free to unburden your own:

1. My first Honda Airblade motorbike.

Two days after I moved into my first condo in Jomtien after retiring to  Thailand, I went into Pattaya to buy my first ever motorbike. Well, to be exact, the first for 40 years or so! I knew exactly what I wanted: a Honda Airblade.

Lek, who had decided (unilaterally) to meet me at the airport following my retirement flight from the UK, volunteered to assist me with the purchase formalities by acting as Thai/English/Thai translator. All went well, and an hour or so later, we rode away on MY shiny new Airblade resplendent in our new helmets. I had paid 50% of the cost up front with the balance due a month later.  They kept the "logbook" until the balance is paid. 

Now we get to the good bit.

It was not until after I kicked Lek into touch three weeks later, I subsequently discovered that not only had she kept the spare key and ridden off on the Airblade, she had instructed the Dealer to register the Airblade in HER name at the time of the purchase. 

How stupid was I?

[sakik2024]

Looking at chat GPT, the most relatable :

Took “shortcut” through a flooded soi.

Trusted a tuk-tuk driver who said “special price.”

Bought elephant pants. 

[boydeste]

New Years Eve 2010, checked into the hotel next to the Irish Rovers on LK. Pasadena Lodge I think it was called.

Was desperate to get out ASAP. Usually I shower, shave and take a dump before leaving. 

On this occasion I was off to Secrets that had nice toilets, thought I could make it. Got to 2nd road and had a rumble. Instead of ducking into Tim's, there was an appropriate gap in the traffic. Stupidity ran across the road, farted on the way and shit myself. f**k.

Dashed into Mike's shopping Mall, found the toilet to find no paper etc. The attendant was selling them at the entrance which I missed, or it was a m/c. Can't remember. 

Ended up cleaning myself with my socks and boxers. Then sheepishly walking back to my room for a shower and reset.

Had alot more respect for my back end performance after that.

 

 

[forcebwithu]

Years ago when I still lived in Nirun I used to frequent the bars nearby. One night after a fair amount of drinking I stumbled home only to wake up in the morning, naked on the floor next to the bed. Not sure how I ended up on the floor I raised myself to say good morning to my TGF who was comfortably asleep in our bed. The first words out her mouth were "you were a bad man last night". She then proceeded to tell me how arrived home the previous night with another lady in tow. 

As best I can piece the events together, I remember leaving the last bar alone. Somehow though in the 250m stumble back to my place I managed to pick up a stray. Best guess is when I passed the 7-11 where FL's sometimes hang out, one probably said, "where you go" and my response probably would have been "home to sleep". I can only speculate, but I'm guessing her next words might have been "I go with you", and so she did. 

The last kicker to this tale; my TGF finished by telling her I owed her 500B. When I asked what for, she replied she gave my stray 500B to go away. 

[coxyhog]

Put all my valuables,pp etc into a bank safety deposit box then going to retrieve them on the Friday before my Sunday flight to find that it was a bank holiday....I was already late back to Saudi as I'd thrown a sickie for extra days.

Got in a Baht bus stoned & when it turned right on second road into what was then jungle didn't press the bell,ended up with a gun in my neck.

Must be lots more as wifey is always calling me suebue.

 

[coxyhog]

34 minutes ago, coxyhog said:

Must be lots more as wifey is always calling me suebue.

Then there's the time in Pattaya about 30 years or so ago when in the early hours I decided in my drunken state to have a cheeseburger.There used to be these Denmark Hamburger vans around town & against the pleading of my better half I had one.Easily the worst case of the screamers I've ever had,I ended up going to the Swiss doctor as it seemed never ending.

The earache I got from the missus didn't help....😂

[john1000]

Told a lady I wanted to finish our relationship, whist being driven home by her.

Expensive Taxi from Chonburi to Pattaya... 

[monkey_omelette]

After a night on the lash I was sat outside the Dynasty in Bangkok having my last beer for the night when 2 Cambodian sisters walked past and suggested a threesome. I took them up on the offer and as I was in the new bit proceeded to take them down the side entrance to my room bypassing reception.

 

Woke up with a banging headache, an empty wallet and no mobile phone.

[Zambo]

At work for a few weeks this guy was telling us about his wife's visit for a week and making the arrangements.

Just 2 days before she was to arrive he said that after considering all the options the very best was just for the wife to stay in his condo, all he has to do is to arrange his Thai GF to move out for a week.

After picking up his wife at Don Muang he explained his room was a bit untidy as he'd left for the airport straight from work.

Amazingly when they opened the condo door they see a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses next to the bed, with flower petals and towels on the bed.

After a couple of days he takes his wife to Hua Hin for the weekend. Wonderfully when they get back to the condo their laundry has been done, the room's spotless and another bottle of wine.

On the final day setting off for the airport when they open the condo door to leave they find a pack of thai snacks and small thai gifts for the journey home.