AussieBob

Planning ahead for living in Thailand and the issue of which bank accounts to get is on the agenda. Does anyone know of a bank in Thailand that does not charge an annual fee for an ATM card? I remember that both Siam and Bangkok bank charged a fee for the ATM cards when we lived there - annoyed me a lot. So have things progressed and there is a bank in Thailand that provides the ATM card for free these days?

A very successful, arrogant young barrister from London is up in Yorkshire, playing golf. His ball goes out of bounds into a farmers field. Just as he is about to climb over the fence to retrieve his ball when an elderly farmer shouts out to him ”Hey, keep off my land. You can’t climb my fence without asking my permission first”. The barrister says “You obviously have no idea who I am. I am a top London barrister and you are just some dumb farmer. If you prevent me from retrieving my ball I will sue you for every penny you have”. “I don’t know how you fancy southerners settle things” says the farmer, “but around here we use the one-punch rule”. “What is that?” asks the barrister. The old farmer explains “First I get to give you one punch, then you get to punch me, and so on until one of us gives up”. The barrister looks at the old farmer and thinks there is no way he can lose a punch contest against such an old man - so he agrees to the contest. The old farmer draws back his fist and, with all his strength, punches the barrister square on the nose, knocking him to the ground and drawing blood. After taking a few minutes to recover the barrister says “Right you old bumpkin, now it’s my turn”. “Stuff it” says the farmer, “I give up, you win, you can go get your ball”.

Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in maths. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked ‘How much is 2x3? and I said '6"' "But that's right!" said Father "Then she asked me ‘How much is 3x2?"' His father asks, "What's the f*cking difference?" Johnny said "That's exactly what I said to her!" ------------------------ The class was quietly doing some reading when Johnny started waved his hands about and said "Miss, Miss, I gotta go piss!" "That's not a very nice word" said the teacher, "the correct term is 'urinate'. Now, use that in a sentence and you may be excused". Johnny thought for a bit and said "My Dad reckons urinate, Miss, but if you had bigger tits you'd be a ten". -------------------------- Little Suzy was absent from school for a few days, and when she returned she said to the teacher "I had the flu Miss, and mum wouldn't let me go to school because she said it's catching". "That was good of her", said teacher, "but the correct word to use is 'contagious'. Now, who can make a sentence using that word?" "Me! Me! Miss!" shouted Johnny. But no one else put up their hand so she had no choice. "Well, okay Johnny" said teacher, with some misgivings. "Last weekend I went for a ride with my dad and we saw a truck that had spilled a load of watermelons on the road, and Dad said, 'gee, it'll take that poor contagious to pick up all those watermelons'" --------------------- CHEMISTRY TEACHER: What is the formula for water? JOHNNY: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O. CHEMISTRY TEACHER: Why would you give a silly answer like that? JOHNNY: I was told it was H to O! TEACHER: Johnny, go to the map and find North America. JOHNNY: Here it is! TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered North America? CLASS (in unison): Johnny! JOHNNY: Would you punish me for something I didn't do? TEACHER: No, of course not. JOHNNY: Good. I didn't do my homework.

A bloke had been suffering from excruciating headaches for some time, and finally went to a doctor. After a thorough exam, and after doing MRIs and all sorts of tests, 4 weeks later the doctor said "I'm sorry, but you have an extremely rare condition. Your testicles are twisted upwards, which puts pressure on all the nerves at the base of the spine, and that is what is sends those shooting pains to your head. I'm afraid that the only cure is castration". The man was taken aback at this, and told his doctor that he believed he would try to bear the pain. But as time went on, the headaches only got worse, and finally, the poor fellow was driven back to the doctor and had the chop. When it was all over, the man was understandably depressed, but over time his condition improved and the headaches went away. One day he was walking past a men's wear shop and saw a nice suit in the window. He decided to go in and buy it, now that things were so much better. Upon saying what he wanted, the proprietor said, "I'd say you take a 38-regular". "That's right", exclaimed the man, "how'd you know?" "Well, when you've been in the business as long as I have, you get pretty good at sizing a man up. Now, how about a nice shirt to go with it? Looks like a 15 long will fit?" "Right again." "Look, why not go the full hog, and get some silk undershorts too? I'd say a size 36." "There's your first mistake, I've worn 30's for years." "No, you're a size 36 if I've ever seen one". "I ought to know what size undershorts I wear, and I'll take a 30". "Well alright, if you insist, but I'm telling you, they're going to make your balls push up against the base of your spine and it will give you terrible headaches!"

A nine-year-old kid noticed that every Tuesday morning a strange man visited his mother, so he hid in the bedroom closet to spy. After watching them have sex, he heard his dad arrive home unexpectedly. The man jumped in the closet with him. “It’s dark in here, eh?” the kid said. “What? Yeah,” whispered the man. “Would you like to buy my skateboard?” asked the kid. “No,” said the man. “My dad’s outside,” said the kid. “I reckon $100 is a fair price.” “Alright then,” said the man. The next day the kid’s dad asked him why he wasn’t out skateboarding. “I sold my skateboard to this guy for $100,” the kid replied. “That is terrible to rip someone off like that and to sell something that was given to you for your birthday,” his dad said. “I’m taking you straight to church so you can confess.” As soon as they arrived the kid was pushed into the confessional booth by his father. “Dark in here, eh?” he said to the priest. “Bloody 'ell,” said the priest, “not you again.”

I have downloaded all of his novels and am going through them one by one (that I have not read yet) on an iPad Mini the wife no longer uses (she just got a new one). Must say I didnt think I would be able to transition from books to an e-reader, but it is fine.

Quite a response - reminds me of all the khrapp I went through when setting up my system. So you have a media device/player and you are connecting that via HDMI cable to the Projector. Before I answer about the cable - what is the sound setup? How are you outputting sound from the media device/player, and what to? Trust me that is a big issue with regards to your question. I had a theatre setup years ago - cost over $20K - it was brilliant (sold it with the house before retiring and moving to Thailand). I strongly recommend it for movies especially, but also for other things like sports (The NFL Superbowl and Test Cricket etc. was a big 'boys only' event at my place). Right now I have an LG 4K UHD TV LED (not OLED) but it is nothing compared to my old theatre setup. Looking forward to returning to Thailand and again putting a movie theatre in the house. Perhaps you can detail what you have got - brand type etc. - or what you are planning on getting - happy to provide some input and advice.

They clearly didnt like Rory shooting 7 under on day 1 - the course was brutal over the weekend. That the winner was -5 shows how tough it got. On Sunday only 2 blokes (Hatton and Herbert) shot under 70. All Rory had to do was shoot par on Fri, Sat and Sun and he would have won by 2 shots. IMO Rory seems to lack 'awareness' - he goes too hard at it when the course/weather of the day requires the players to be more 'controlled'. He does that a lot because he is so good and it often comes off for him - but when it doesn't it ruins his round - he is such a 'confidence player'. I have said it for a while, it is no coincidence IMO that he has not won a major since he sacked his caddie and replaced him with a mate. I doubt that there is a pro in the top 100 that would swap for Harry, if he and Rory did split. I understand why he split with JP, but surely a pro caddie would have been a better choice, rather than a close mate.

Sorry mate - that makes no sense to me - probably a 'translation issue'. Why are you running a cable from a projector to a 'front screen'? Normally you connect the playing device (eg. DVD Player) to the projector via a HDMI cable (2.0 is fine) and then you project the image onto a front screen (like in a theatre). Is that what you mean?

Obviously you never got divorced in the West - that is how it works over here - a totally biased and irrational system. I hope it never happens to you. Another bonus about Thailand - in a divorce whatever you entered with, is what you take away if it stops. I am embellishing this, but - I can still remember Greg Norman's lawyer saying - 'why should she get xyzmillion - she never made a putt or won a golf event'. In response to the Court's argument that she 'supported' him and contributed to his success and she deserves to keep much of the benefits, his lawyer asked - 'Then why do the wives of criminals not also get sent to prison - they supported and contributed to them'.

HDMI cable from the Projector? Input Box? Could you perhaps explain that setup a bit more.

Maybe try another ISP? I found that some have a bigger 'pipe' into the international connections than others. We used 3BB (now BB Connect) in Chiang Mai and it was always over 50Mbps overseas - which is plenty for most streaming we used. Each ISP has their own international connections - maybe most of True's traffic is inside Thailand? There are 10 international internet gateway operators in Thailand. Code Name Operator BBConnect-IIG BB Connect Internet Gateway BB Connect CAT-IIG International Internet Gateway CAT Telecom CSL-IIG CS Loxinfo International Internet Gateway CS Loxinfo DTAC-IIG Total Access Communication International Internet Gateway Dtac JASTEL-IIG JasTel International Internet Gateway Jastel Symphony-IIG Symphony International Internet Gateway Symphony Communication AWN-IIG AWN International Internet Gateway Advanced Wireless Network TCCT-IIG TCCT International Internet Gateway TCC Technology TIG-IIG True International Internet Gateway True Internet TOT-IIG TOT International Internet Gateway TOT

Mate - the bloke I mentioned was a lot older than that guy. And when I said strutting and not walking, I meant he was going very very slow - because he had not choice

Goodness - what was Hugh thinking. I never saw that his wife before and did not know she was so 'ordinary'. But she is probably a very lovely person - and probably has some other exceptional abilities. Yet again the rules prove there is always exceptions to every rule.

Believe it or not there is another one in this regional town as well - and we use the same medical clinic. Must have been a very popular name back in the 50s.

For me the age difference is 14 years - she is over 50 and I am over 60. But it does look like she is only 30!! The worst/best example I ever saw was a bloke walking strutting down Pattaya beach who must have been mid 80s, with a young Thai girl who was as bored a sheite and constantly doing something with her phone - probably Facebook.

I think it fair to say on behalf of us all - that is a bonus. Although some blokes went a bit 'too young' (30+ years difference) - but if it works and both happy, then what is the problem? I never met a millionaire or billionaire who was with an older ugly woman - except their mum or sister