Britboy

Wow, 17 days? That’s quick, but was obviously the right thing if you’re still together. Good for you mate. This guy had told her his life story (warts and all), lent her his car and asked her to move in within 45 minutes of meeting her. Thats a Guineas Book of Records entry in my book.

Just to add one more thing to the main update, which I meant to include, but forgot. I’m beginning to think the mantra that Thailand is the Land of Smiles is disappearing fast. In the last 3 days I’ve been served by Thai ladies who have not uttered a single word through the whole transaction. WTF? Even in miserable England, if I’m a customer and I buy something, the minimum I’ll get is a “thank you” at the conclusion of the transaction. Worst case, a grunt. On Saturday bank girl and I went to Central (needed some toiletry stuff from Boots). The taxi dropped us off at Cigarista, so I could buy cigars. It’s msybe half a kilometre walk to Central and I fancied a beer. We stopped off at some random bar, it had 3 moose serving. Nobody else in the bar, none of them came to our table So I asked bank girl what she’d like, walked up to the bar and ordered a Singha and a water. Not a word. I went to sit down, the fattest moose brought the drinks over. Not a word. Some pleasant conversation with bank girl, finished drinks, after a few minutes caught one of the moose’s eye, and gestures for the check bin. Check bin plonked on the table, not a word. Moose waited while I got money out of my pocket. I paid exact money, but moose couldn’t see that. Not a word. We got up and left, not a word. On the walk to Central I asked bank girl WTF has happened to Thailand? 2nd occasion was in the 7/11 in Jomtien, on the corner of beach road and the police “station”. Bunch of stuff to pack and charge up, she was talking at high volume to another check out lady. Didn’t look at me, said nothing through the whole process, didn’t hand the bag to me, plonked the change in my hand, again without even looking at me, continuing her loud Thai conversation with the teller at the other end of the checkout. Utterly pathetic in both cases. Don’t they train staff here in customer service?

I think I understand what you mean, but having been here so many times, seen, witnessed, read and heard about all the scams, rip-offs, and short- and long-game plays, my guard is still always up. One has to really think through every possible scenario when faced with a given situation. It really does make it difficult for the 100% genuine Thai ladies that still exist who want to snag a decent farang. And just as difficult for a 100% genuine farang to find a 100% honest Thai lady. Us farang have to be so street-wise to stand any chance, but at the same time this makes us a cynic and/or a sceptic. I certainly know since I’ve been coming to Thailand I’ve become much more cynical. It can effect your personality.

Exactly. I sincerely hope this one works out for him, but the signs were not good from her reactions. I get the feeling she thought Christmas has come early.

I’d love to meet the guy and have a one-on-one with him. I’d definitely recognise him again, as he was facing me. The girl I wouldn’t, she had her back to me the whole time, even when leaving. Only saw her clearly when she first walked in. I wish him well, he seemed a really genuine and nice guy. But he’s obviously not learned his lesson, he’s set himself up for yet another expensive fall. And I find it bizarre he did it in earshot of me at 10 am in the morning.

It's been about 10 days since I last updated, a few things have occurred during that period, which I thought worthwhile mentioning. The really good news is that I'm now the proud owner of a 12-month, multiple entry, retirement visa, so if I choose to I can stay unhindered until end of October 2020. My 90-day business visa was due to expire at the end of this month, the "Agency" I spoke with advised I go in to see them first week of October. So last Wednesday (2nd), I did. Amazingly smooth operation I must say. They even took the necessary pics. Won't go into too much detail here, for obvious reasons, but I was in the Agency for about 15 minutes, a taxi to the bank, where I spent about 30 minutes, then to the Immigration office, where I was in and out in 5 minutes, despite the place being heaving with people. That was it. Including the time in the taxi, it took just over an hour. The following day at lunch time the Agency called me to say my passport is ready, so popped over and picked it up. They said they'd handle the 90 day reporting too, just pop in and leave my passport. There's simply no way could I go and queue in that Immigration Office. What a nightmare. It looked like there were queues to join queues. I don't do queues. Happy to provide more details via PM if anybody would like further details. The most interesting hour I spent over the last 10 days was completely unexpected and quite jaw-dropping. It started off as most of my days do - a quiet breakfast in one of the restaurant's a short walk from the rear of my condo complex. I was the only customer, I'd already finished my breakfast and was sitting quietly with a cappuccino while doing the Bangkok Post sudoku and crossword. In walks a farang (estimate early 70's) with a Thai lady (nothing special, but quite pretty, mid-30's, decent figure). There were maybe 15 empty tables, but to my surprise they sat down on the very next table to me. I'm not a nosey person by nature, but due to this guy being a bit deaf, he over-compensated by speaking very loudly. So I wasn't ear-wigging, I could hear every word clearly with. Not a case of putting a glass against the wall. It was obvious from minute 1 that this was the first time they'd met. This was 10 am, which I thought was an odd time for a first meet. I knew this because the first few minutes of the discussion was around how much prettier she looked than her online profile and it was nice to "finally meet you". The guy was a natural German, ex-military, but had lived in the USA for a long period, so had a US passport too. He proceeded to explain to this lady that he'd spent 40 years in the German air-force, his German wife had left him 5 years earlier, costing him a fortune, he'd had 3 long term Thai ex-bargirl girlfriends from Isaan since then, all of whom had fleeced him. She did very little talking - she didn't get a chance. We had his life story over a 20 minute period. I couldn't concentrate on the crossword, he was so loud. Plus I was waiting to see how this lady reacted. Finally she managed to get a word in. She' didn't come across as a bargirl and said she has a small business in Bangkok and 3 youngish kids. Not a problem, he said, I like you . . . Here we go I thought . . . After most of his life history he got onto the subject of cars - he said he'd got a 2 year old Toyota and is trying to sell it because he doesn't feel safe driving it any more. She then went on to say that she's struggling cos she needs to get around Bangkok to deliver things and her car is so old and keeps breaking down. So he offers her the use of his car. His exact words were "you can use my car, it's better for it to be used than sit in my parking lot". I watched her reaction closely. She didn't jump at it, was quite coy and actually very clever with her words, but basically saying she would be very grateful and would take him up on that offer. She wasn't an educated lady, her English was obviously picked up at school and working. She may possibly have been an ex bargirl. Inside she must have been rubbing her hands together. The more the conversation went on, the more this guy opened up and the culmination was that he offered for her to move in with him. I couldn't believe my ears. So much of me wanted to shake some sense into him. On a first meet offering her his car then offering her to move in with him? No wonder he's got fleeced left. right and centre. It should have been "Run, Forest, Run" or as Iron Maiden would say "run to the hills". After maybe an hour he paid up, they walked the few steps to the path outside and said their goodbyes, saying "see you tonight" and left in opposite directions. On reflection I felt sorry for him. He did say he wanted full-time companionship during the conversation. No problem with that, but I think he should re-assess his interview process. On the personal front, gogo girl has legged it back to Korat for a few weeks, which I'm pleased about. Things were getting tricky as I didn't really want to see her, but she kept pressing. All is good with bank girl - she's come to see me the last 2 weekends, she left this morning. Had a good night Saturday in Le Pub, very enjoyable watching the football unfold with a few guys, all supporting different teams. Bank girl has got into it too - I have a converted Ipswich fan. On Friday she showed up with her nails done . . . . Ipswich Town nails - brilliant. Will report on a restaurant we went for dinner last night - Cabbages and Condoms. I'd heard about it from somewhere and bank girl suggested it, so we went. What a let down. Food was hugely average, they charged 260 baht for a puny 100 ml measure of chateau shite red wine, 150 for a bottle of Singha and you can't get a Grab taxi to pick you up inside the complex because of the "taxi mafia". I had to tip the concierge guy to take us down the road in a buggy to a 7/11, where the Grab driver was comfortable picking us up. Won't be going there again.

You're as young as (the ladies) you feel, as "they" say . . . That's certainly help me keep young (at heart and in mind), though I'm constantly being called in jest by my UK business partner (who's early 50's), business associates and mates, at various times one of the following:- Old git Old scrote Dirty old git Dirty old scrote Normally it's in response to me emailing or messaging them pics of my Thai "conquests" . . . 😁 Water off a duck's back . . . I put it down to jealousy . . . 😉

Thanks boys . . . . I wish . . .

Couldn’t agree with you more Mr Egg. Despite not being to a quack of any sort or been in hospital except to visit people for 46 years it’s sods law that now I’m living here something will happen. 8 weeks and counting. I have BUPA travel insurance, but technically that doesn’t cover extended stays. Luckily, when I opened my Thai bank account there was a 5k baht mandatory payment needed that’s a 12 month health/medical/accident insurance. It’s actually pretty good. But they gave me the renewal sheet . . It’s not mandatory then, but big money to renew it. I’ll have a dilemma in 10 months if I’m still around (in Thailand or on this planet), especially as I’m 65 next month.

Thanks Grayray, but I love a good BJ and don't want to have to go without that. She's learning, but to be honest I've not seen her for over 2 weeks now. I'm quite happy with bank girl at weekends and midweek visits to GC's.

Absolutely get where you're coming from. I actually have 2 cappucino's, one as soon as I arrive (the lady makes me one as soon as she sees me walk in now, don't even need to ask) and one after finishing breakfast with a nice smoke. Despite my attempting to explain numerous times that I want hot toast delivered at the same time as the boiled eggs it falls on deaf ears though.

All I can say is that after 8 weeks it hasn't yet . . . 😁

The girls love that . . 😉

It's been a couple of weeks since I did the last update, so thought I'd describe the goings on over the last fortnight. Bank girl has been here both weekends - arriving around 6 pm on Friday and going back Monday morning. Having a really nice time with her, she's learned how to handle this old scrote, gives me time when I need it, isn't a cling-on in bed and is the real traditional Thai "take care" lady. It's really sweet. She gets me a coffee every morning, the bedroom activities are getting better and better as she gets used to me and even got her using my trimmer and strimmer devices to shave my body hair. Gogo girl has taken a real back seat now. I hate myself inasmuch as I'm lying to her as to my whereabouts. It's easy to take the pressure off if I say I'm in Hua Hin playing golf or in BKK on business. The fact is my golf clubs have been standing on the balcony in the shipping bag I brought them in since I moved into the condo. I shouldn't actually call her gogo girl any more, as she's left the gogo and now working with her "mama" at a pisshole bar on a side street off Soi Bukhao. I'm trying to encourage her to take barfines (she has 2 kids and her real mama in Loei to support) as she needs the money, but she's still insisting on not going with men. She says she's too scared and "only boom boom you" and "I want take care you every day and every night". I keep telling her I want no pressure and no girlfriend, trying to let her down gently. She's not taking the hint unfortunately. Maybe I'll see her again if bank girl skips a weekend coming here but as mentioned before gogo girl is the "helmet scraper" and that still bothers me. Although last time I saw her she was much better, I still had a sore dick for 24 hours. As to other activities, I like the GC's. Went to one earlier this week in Jomtien (my 4th visit there). New lady, very pretty, tall and slim, 34 years old and only been there a couple of weeks (not a newbie to the industry I might add - far from it in fact, she's spent time in Korea, Singapore, HK, Phuket and Sumui) but a newbie to this GC. Did get a bit of pressure from the 2 mamasans, both wanting drinks, but I did buy them a drink on previous visits, so did so but said don't ask again. If I want to buy you one, I will. If you ask again, I definitely won't. Some good banter with them and one of them brought over this newbie. Normally I don't like being "presented" with a girl, I prefer to look around and choose myself. But she was so pretty. My first concern was that she was a ladyboy. Before I invited her to sit with me I said "I have 1 question". She said immediately "I know - I'm not a ladyboy. Every man asks me that". She was 100% lady, as I found out upstairs, after a few drinks. The total for my early evening escapade was 2,500 all in. I had 3 drinks, I bought her 3 drinks and 1 LD each for the 2 mamasans. So 8 drinks and a very good time in a nice room upstairs that had a good shower and porn showing on the TV. I did leave some tips on top of that, but pretty good value for the equivalent of 66 of our English pounds. I think I mentioned previously that after being here solidly now for 8 weeks little things start to grate on me. I try to think to myself "don't be an old goat, don't be a Victor Meldrew" but when the same annoying things happen consistently, day after day, it does grate. All happen in the morning too . . . 1) Soi dogs and in particular dog shit on the pavement. It's a lovely walk from my condo to where I usually have breakfast. Every morning there are piles of Soi Dogshit as I walk along Beach Road. Disgusting. While there are rubbish trucks that take away all the beach vendor trash that's laid out roadside every day, nobody seems responsible for cleaning up dog shit. 2) The stench from the drains as you walk along Beach Road. There are drains about every 20 yards and particular when there's a breeze there's a certain point as you get near every drain when that horrible sewagy stench wafts into your nose. Bloody horrible. 3) Serving food at random times and out of synch. Happens in all restaurants, particularly when I'm having dinner with Bank girl. Main courses come before starters sometimes, they randomly put down one dish without the accompanying one, serve all my order 10 minutes before bank girl (and vice versa). One particularly annoying case was one breakfast where I just ordered boiled eggs, toast, butter and jam. They must have had a toast run going for other customers too as within a minute the toast was served and a full 6 minutes later the eggs arrive. I did take exception to this and sent the toast back - I want warm (or preferably hot) toast with my eggs, not stone cold and all served at the same time. 4) Thais walking wearing flipflops who drag their feet. Don't know why, but this really winds me up. Pick your feet up for goodness sake. Sounds like someone sanding wood. Anyway, overall I'm enjoying my extended stay. Bank girl coming this afternoon so looking forward to a nice weekend. Anywhere in the world has things that grate, Thailand just has different annoyances.

I've been in Rockhouse many times since I moved here 7 weeks ago. @nampla69took me in there and introduced me to Alex. Top bloke (and I can even understand his Scottish accent) and have been on a couple of crawls with him around LK. He knows a lot of people, so going on a crawl with him is good and got to meet other owners/managers of the gogos. That's always potentially useful. As to Rockhouse itself, I like the place, especially when Alex is there as he controls the music, the volume and the sports. When he's not there, well, Rockhouse isn't the correct name for the place as the staff put all sorts of crap music on. So if I go in and he's not there, I'll have one drink and move on. Having said that, the staff are pretty good, as is Alex's wife. I took bank girl in there one night and they spent a lot of time talking together while I was watching the football with Alex. When I go to LKM for a night out, Rockhouse is always the first place I stop in for a couple of warm up beers.

Yep, well, she signed up on the Beatles Apple label.

Hopkin . . . I'm old enough to remember that single . .

Not been on the board for a few days, but was in Le Pub on Saturday night and spoke to a few guys there about Ric passing. While I love "Drive" and as @misteregg says here "Just What I Needed" my favourite Ric song was sung by him as an individual - Emotion in Motion. That song has a lot of memories for me - good ones I might add. Rest in Peace Ric.

Quite agree about the difference in chemistry between meeting girls in a bar and getting one from TF. I much prefer to have a couple of drinks and build up a bit of rapport with a girl. What I like here are the options - gogo, beer bar, massage place and TF. Depending on the mood all 4 have worked well. What I'm really looking for is a hot young lady who can give a top oil massage with happy ending that I can call on to come to my condo some mornings, when I'm in that mood. That's one of my objectives over the next couple of weeks.

I agree. My bank girl is great (she looks after corporate clients at Krungsri Bank). Also, when I opened my own account at Bangkok Bank, the manager who did it all for me slipped me her mobile number, on the premise that if I have any issues (particularly with online banking) I can contact her directly . . I have swapped a couple of messages with her, primarily out of courtesy and to keep what could be a very useful contact, but don't want to complicate my life too much at the moment with too many "regulars"

Quick update. I've now been in country for 6 weeks, everything has settled down, have a great condo, a Thai bank account, sending money to it via Transferwise (thoroughly recommended) and into somewhat of a routine. Since last update haven't actually been to a gogo - been working quite a bit and by the end of the day often can't be arsed to get ready and trek into Pattaya. I had a feeling that once everything you want is on your doorstep, the "I can't be arsed" attitude does come into play at times. I have had a couple of "take outs" from TF. Both were stunners but I find with TF it's all very mechanical. Very little feeling and it's the proverbial wham, bam, thank you ma'am. Quite unsatsifying in truth. One thing that has come to the fore is dealing with "Thai time". I'm having difficultly dealing with that. I organised another meet with a TF girl, looked very hot in her pics and thought I'd have a session at lunch time, after working all morning. So I set this up at around 9.30 am for her to arrive at midday. Sent her all the address details, etc to which she replied and said "see you at 12" So it gets to 12.15 no sign of her, no message. So I messaged, where are you? She replied "drying my hair in hair salon". I said you were supposed to be here at 12, she replied I be there in 15 minutes. So 20 minutes go by, still no sign of her, no message. I message her again, where are you? She replied "I'm on my way" and sent me a location, which was about 3 miles away. The moment had gone for me, so I told her to forget it, I'm now going out. While I can be flexible, if I set a time I expect people to keep to it, or at least message if there's a problem. She could have squeezed in another bang before coming to me, who knows? She was shocked that I cancelled, but not having that. She wanted 2k as well. Her loss. Had another example of Thai timekeeping with bank girl. We'd planned for her to come to Jomtien last Sunday, from Rungsit. I asked if she wanted me to send a car to pick her up, to which she said no, I'm fine. I'll come on the bus with my mum, she needs to go to Pattaya. No problem, so asked what time she'll be here. Between 3 and 4 was the answer. So I planned my day. Went for a reasonably early breakfast near my condo on beach road and thought I'd skip lunch and take her out for something nice to eat when she gets here. So I then did some work and hung around the condo. Got to 3.30 pm, no message from her since the morning, so sent her a message asking where she was. I could see she hadn't read the message after 15 minutes or so, so sent another message "what time are you going to be here?" She finally replied "I don't know". WTF? I asked where she was, and got a location back which was still way outside Pattaya. I got a garbled message back to the tune of her brother ended up driving them and her mum wanted to stop off to look at possible premises for her business. She said she didn't know this was going to happen. I was so mad. I was starving hungry, told her to forget coming here, I'm going out to the bars and gogos. I didn't, but wanted her to know the repercussions of fucking me about. I then went quiet for hours, she sent apologetic messages, sent me a pic of her at the Naklua bus station waiting for a bus back to Rungsit, a pic of her actually on the bus going home and a bunch of messages when she did get home apologising. Part of me felt sorry for her, as I know she didn't plan on being late. But she should understand her travel arrangements, what her mum and brother planned on and tell me. She didn't. Again through a garbled message she said she thought her brother was going to drop mum off at home then drop her off at mine to meet the timeframe. She said they got stopped by a police checkpoint, where her brother had to explain where they were going. She said that was the first she knew they were doing a grand detour to look for business premises. She definitely has the message now, but let's see. I tried to explain that it's not good to just be quiet. I had planned my day, was bloody starving by 4 pm and she hadn't communicated. If she'd have messaged me at say midday and told me she wouldn't be able to get here before 7 pm, fine, I can accept that and would have changed my day accordingly. Don't just ignore the issue and leave someone expecting something that isn't going to happen. The test will come tomorrow - she's coming to Jomtien. I'm going to play things cool and just see how she handles it. Other than the TF take outs I've only had gogo girl here once in the last two weeks. For readers of my previous updates this is the one that caused my helmet to triple in size, along with teeth scrapes. Thought I'd give her another shot after telling her countless times to be gentle. She was much more gentle, but still clumsy and heavy handed. It's concerning if I'm constantly thinking about the safety of my bits and pieces, which makes the sex very unsatisfying. Although more gentle, still had a sore knob for 24 hours, so I think that'll be the last time I see her. Plus she's getting too clingy. She left yesterday to go home for 2 weeks and tried to get me to commit to "no ladies" while she's away. No bloody way. Her English is awful and general common sense poor. She's very naive. The night I saw her I offered to go to her bar, to make her look good. Buy her a few drinks and barfine her. I figured that would be good for her "face" as she's never accepted the offer of a barfine in her gogo and she recently left there to work in a bar with her "mama" as she calls her. Not her real mum, but an older lady who has "taken care" of her. She gave me the wrong bar name. Incredible. She finally sent me a location, but because she'd given me the wrong name, I had no chance. Those location maps aren't always particularly accurate. So there was me looking for "Dream Bar" when she was actually working in Lucky Shot bar. It's at the end and to the right off one of the side roads off Soi Bukhau. Anyway, I was standing in the dirt area outside a string of bars when she came running out of Lucky Shot and flung her arms round me. Spent an hour in there. A pretty crappy bar (they all are along there). Her two bosses were happy to see her happy, but only stayed an hour as the other 3 ladies working there and one of the bosses were trying their best to rinse me of ladydrinks. I bought them one each, but when they started pestering for more, I check-binned, barfined and legged it. My girl did get a big round of applause and shrieks from the other girls, not only from Lucky Shot, but also the two bars either side, as they were all aware this was her first ever barfine. I did go to Le Pub on Saturday night to watch the England game. Thoroughly enjoyable. Great place @misteregg, will be in again soon.

Just a follow up from my post in "post a pic of your brekkie", which I did yesterday, explaining that I like to go and have a quiet breakfast in a quiet restaurant, read the Bangkok Post, do the sudoku and crossword and just chill. Well, that went to pot today. I actually woke up at 7.30 this morning, pottered about a bit, did a few emails, then walked down beach road to find my little breakfast hideaway (it's called Olala). It's two doors away from Sand Bar. Well, this morning, there was a massive crane outside Sandbar, a couple of trucks and half a dozen blokes. I obviously wondered what was going on. I sat down in Olala, ordered my usual egg and bacon and was just starting my first cappuccino when they started using chainsaws on the very large, dead tree that sits in the middle of Sand Bar. What a bloody racket. They cut it down in sections, put each section on the road, then cut that up in sections so it would fit on a pickup truck. The noise was unbearable and could see it was going to take a good couple of hours for them to complete the job. Scoffed down my egg and bacon and legged it as soon as I could. It ruined breakfast for all the folks in Olala. I couldn't believe there were still people in the other section of Sand Bar still eating breakfast. It was deafening two buildings down, actually being in there must have been unbearable.

Thanks @maipenrai, much appreciated. Haven't heard of Blush, will look it up. As it's Friday, very little threat of rain, and I feel satisfied that I've done a fair bit of work for my UK business, I feel justified in bunking off this afternoon. I'll head to Passion to see what it's like. Need to gauge how to keep the tanks full for when my bank girl comes on Sunday. An emptying this afternoon and perhaps tomorrow night (I have a plan on who this is going to be) by Sunday evening when she arrives I should be ready to rock and roll . . .

Yep, it's lethal. I sat in the bar right on that junction the other night with the owner who kindly offered to be a witness. Sat for an hour, saw at least 5 incidents that could easily have turned into accidents, including a coach doing a fucking u-turn (it was a 7-point turn) which is illegal there and clearly signposted "no u-turn". It took him about 5 minutes to do it, holding traffic up and causing a jam as the lights changed 2 or 3 times during that time. Just don't get the mentality.

It's not actually safe to walk on the bloody pavement, let alone cross the road, in Thailand generally. No law enforcement on motorbikes zooming down the pavement, both ways. I saw a video recently (on Stickboy if memory serves) of a Thai lady standing on the pavement at a place in BKK where motorbikes are always taking short cuts across the pavement. She stood her ground, stopping them and got a load of stick for doing it. Ridiculous. Until the police here enforce the law and start protecting pedestrians against that there will continue to be numerous people hit while innocently walking on what's supposed to be a safe environment. Having lived here now for over a month that's the one thing that really pisses me off about the place. Being here for the usual 10 nights on holiday previously I tended to just put up with it, mai pen rai. But being here permanently it's really getting on my tits and so tempted to say something or take a stand, but that could be dangerous. All of a sudden 10 of their mates show up and you end up getting a kicking. The Gentleman's Club is Kit Kat. It's in an L-shaped pedestrian precinct, with access from beach road, near the police building on the promenade or from a side road off the main road drag that runs between a couple of bars. There's another one in Jomtien too, Passion. Not been there yet, but it's walkable from Jomtien town centre. I plan on giving that a try over the next few days.