Evil Penevil

Two days ago I had the Sunday roast lamb dinner at Kilkenny on LK Metro . Everything was really good- the lamb, potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, veggies and gravy. No complaints at all. You get an extra boat of gravy that's not in the picture. Best deal in town for 199 baht.

Potato-topped lamb pie with gravy, mashed potatoes and veggies on the side. Apple pie for dessert:

Portofino is a new Italian restaurant and pizzeria that occupies what had once been half of Jameson's Irish Pub. It started serving customers on March 1. It has an open kitchen and the interior has been nicely done up. The pic below comes from Jameson's FB. I was at Portofino on March 4 and there were 12 guests scattered across the restaurant. It was by no means full, but busier than I had expected. I ordered a pizza and salad for take away and while I waited, several other people picked up pizzas. I ordered the prosciutto crudo pizza (Parma ham, mushrooms. mozzarella) and a Greek salad for take away. The pizza was 295 baht and the salad 195 baht. The pizza had good quality toppings, although the sauce was a bit sweet and lacked seasoning. Pizza wasn't baked enough for me. The crust was too soft and chewy. Since there was a decent char on the upper edge of the pizza but almost none on the bottom of the crust, the oven probably wasn't hot enough. There an old joke, sometimes attributed to Mel Brooks, to the effect that "Pizza is like sex; even when it's bad, it's still pretty good." I've never agreed with that sentiment. Anyone who believes it has been lucky enough in life to avoid both bad pizza and bad sex. My personal simile regarding pizza and sex would be "I'm happy as long as I occasionally get a good piece." It's also easier to find good sex in Pattaya than good pizza. The pizza I had wasn't bad, just mediocre and certainly not worth 295 baht. The big letdown came from the Greek salad. I'm not going to get into sexual word plays on Greek and salad, but there was nothing Greek about my salad. It was an abbreviated garden salad, heavy on strips of sweet pepper, with three cubes of feta cheese and a couple of black olives. No oregano or lemon juice, very few pieces of tomato or cucumber.👎👎👎 Bottom line: I won't be back to Portofino. There are many, many better places in Pattaya. In case anyone wants to visit for some strange reason, here's a map of the location: and a photo of the food menu: Evil

Sad news for fans of American food: Richman Poorman in Jomtien is closing its doors. March 9th is its final day. I'll have to trundle out there in the next few days; maybe tonight, as the daily specials look inviting. especially the chicken parm at 195 baht: (from RMPM's Facebook page) Evil

Yesterday I had breakfast at the Chill Inn on Soi Buakhao. It's across the street from Jolly's and next door to the former premises of the Great American Sandwich Co. that are currently under conversion to a coyote bar. It wasn't a calculated move on my part. I was walking past about 11.00 a.m., felt hungry and saw a sign for a 89-baht breakfast special. I gave it a try. The breakfast consisted of two fried eggs, back bacon, a U.K.-style sausage, fried potatoes, toast, jam and coffee or tea. It was neither an American nor a British breakfast, but had elements of both. It was good for the price. The eggs were fresh and the bacon and the potatoes fried with onions- they weren't hash browns- were tasty. I don't like that sort of sausage so i didn't eat it. The bread was too lightly toasted for me, but that's down to personal preference. I'm well aware you can get three times the amount of food (and probably five times the calories) with the Retox baht-buster breakfast for 99 baht, but the Chill Inn's special was enough for me. I don't eat big fried breakfasts anymore. It also a pleasant place to sit; open-front, but the fans keep it cool. I didn't like that they allow smoking- and one customer was even puffing on a pipe- but the fans kept the fumes away. Bottom line: I doubt I'll have much occasion to eat breakfast again at the Chill Inn, but I was happy with my breakfast there. Evil

This may not be new, but Jolly's no longer seems to offer a Sunday carvery buffet. The restaurant and the Piss Stop Bar have had a checkered past due the major, major legal problems of the husband-and-wife owners. It doesn't get more serious than being sentenced to death. The food had gotten atrocious in the wake of all the hassles and the restaurant was closed for months. Apparently it's being operated by the family of the wife and old staff. The menu and specials haven't changed, but the carvery is gone. I just hope the food has gotten better, but I'm not brave enough to try it again. The Beer Hubb on Soi Buakhao across from the Chunky Monkey has been open about a month now, but doesn't seem to have attracted many customers. The set up looks nice and the price of bottled beer is in line with other bars on Soi Buakhao. The menu is Indian, Thai and international food. Evil

The 100-baht Sunday chicken dinner at the Marquee Bar. It was still pretty good, but was better in the past. An earlier pic:

Thai omelette on rice (50 baht) and potato salad (60 baht) for takeaway from a nameless Thai restaurant. I would never have ordered the potato salad if I hadn't seen another customer having it. It looked good so I decided to try it. Amazingly good, way above my expectations.

Chicken wings and potato salad for 140 baht.

I haven't eaten there either as it's a bit out of the way for me. It has gotten plenty of good reviews for its food. It was the best fast-food fried chicken I've had in a long while, but I don't have it often.

I don't write often about fast-food chain restaurants in Pattaya, mostly because I don't eat in them except on very rare occasions. On an impulse, I tried Texas Chicken at Central Marina. I was pleasantly surprised; the chicken I got was better than I had expected and it qualified as good. Texas Chicken is the name Church's Chicken operates under outside North America. It's the fourth largest U.S. fried chicken chain in both number of outlets and revenue, but I can't recall ever having tried it in the U.S. as it doesn't have stores in the eastern states. I ordered the three-piece combination for take-away. It cost 159 baht and came with a small order of French fries. one biscuit and a "bottomless" cup of soft drink. I also got some mashed potatoes with gravy for 15 baht. I drank my ice tea in the restaurant; I didn't want to lug it to my hotel. Here's what I got in my take-away box: The three pieces of chicken were all white meat, not thighs and legs. They had been battered and deep-fried properly, crisp on the outside, the meat juicy and full of real chicken flavor. It was far superior to greasy KFC chicken with its soggy batter and tasteless meat. The sides were less impressive. The French fries were industrial-style and the mashed potatoes had started out as flakes from a package. The biscuit had been topped with a honey-like sweetener and had a strange texture. It wasn't bad, but reminded me more of a dough-nut hole than a traditional biscuit. Bottom line: I don't often get a hankering for U.S.-style fried chicken, but the next time I do, I wouldn't hesitate to make a return visit to Texas Chicken. The restaurant has plenty of special offers. In that sense, it lives up to its U.S. reputation as the "poor man's KFC." Evil

Big Kahuna is an American restaurant on Thappraya Road in Jomtien, about 100 meters north of the intersection with Thepprasit Road. The name, decor and some of the dishes on the menu are Hawaii-inspired, but Big Kahuna mostly offers U.S.-style finger food like burgers, sandwiches and pizza. It also serves U.S.-style breakfasts, with pancakes a notable item. It occupies the former premises of the defunct Pastrami on Rye and the menu at Big Kahuna reminds of PoR's. There's a big kahuna painting on one wall, but the interior isn't dripping with kitschy tiki symbols. In fact. the main dining area is pretty much free of them. It's a relaxing atmosphere in which to have a meal. In the Hawaiian language, "kahuna" can refer to a traditional priest, sorcerer or healer, but also to an "expert" of any sort. The term "big kahuna" was applied to Hawaii's top surfer and was made popular by a character with that name (played by Cliff Robertson) in the 1959 movie Gidget with Sandra Dee in the title roll. Today it points to the leading expert or most influential person in any field. I made me think about who might be Pattaya's "big kahuna." Link The other day I had the Small Pancake Special at 98 baht. It featured a single buttermilk pancake with syrup and butter; an in-house-made sausage patty; fried or scrambled egg; and your choice or coffee, tea or orange or pineapple juice. Considering the pancake was one of the best I'd had in Pattaya, it was certainly value for money at the price. The pancake was light and fluffy, exactly how a North American pancake should be. The egg was fired nicely and the sausage patty was OK, if a bit bland. It was pancake and not real maple syrup, but you can't expect too much for 98 baht. It wasn't a healthy breakfast unless you're running a marathon directly after, but it sure tasted good. I wouldn't eat it every day or even every month due to the jolt the syrup gives your blood sugar levels and I just can't have pancakes without some sort of syrup. It was a fair-sized glass of pineapple juice, not the thimble full you get in some restaurants. Big Kahuna has some of the best American food in Pattaya, but it's a bit of a trek to go all the way to Jomtien for a burger or sandwich. Fortunately they have delivery as well for 50 baht extra. I ordered the Cuban sandwich for lunch yesterday. It was a bit of a hassle as I've moved out of my condo and am living temporarily in a hotel. First the girl taking orders thought I had said, "Reuben sandwich," instead of "Cuban sandwich," but I caught that due to the disparity in price she named for the order. It also took some time to make clear my new address. I had anticipated that might happen. so I gave her the phone number to the hotel so she could call and get the directions in Thai. Forty-five minutes later my order arrived, which was fairly quick given the distance involved. Big Kahuna didn't use a moto driver for delivery, but the same pretty young waitress who'd served me my pancake breakfast the day before brought me the sandwich. It consisted of ham, pulled pork. Swiss cheese and slices of dill pickle between the halves of a baguette that had been spread with butter and mustard, then toasted in a sandwich press. It came with a choice of one side dish and a soft drink and I had picked coleslaw and Coke Zero. It cost 285 baht plus 50 baht for delivery. Some foods don't photograph attractively and a Cuban sandwich is one of them. I did indeed taste better than it looked and nevertheless was a fair approximation of the Cuban sandwiches you get in Florida or a big city like New York. Cuban sandwiches should be made with Cuban bread, the recipe for which includes lard as a shortening. This helps give the final loaf an exceptionally crisp crust and and airy. light interior compared to its French and Italian counterparts. In NYC, I lived close to one of the best Cuban bakeries in the city, so getting Cuban sandwiches with the authentic bread wasn't a problem. It would almost be an impossibility to find Cuban bread in Thailand and the Big Kahuna's substitution of a French baguette is the only option short of baking Cuban bread itself. In the pic above, I've opened the sandwich and included the coleslaw, Coke and slice of dill pickle that came with the order. Both the ham and pulled pork held a high standard. You can't make a good cuban sandwich from a sow's ear. I would have liked more mustard on the bread, but that's just personal preference. on the sandwich overall. The coleslaw was very good, with freshly grated cabbage and carrots. It wasn't swimming in dressing and celery seeds had been added for flavor. Bottom line; I won't hesitate to return to Big Kahuna to satisfy my infrequent longing for certain types of U.S. food, but I'm more likely to use the delivery option. The restaurant has numerous specials on food and drink. I'll post some menu pages from Big Kahuna's Facebook page as well. Writing this review has made me think about a Reuben for lunch! Evil

I don't know about today, but you used to have to buy your drink at an outside bar counter and carry it inside. Supposedly the reason was that tour groups would enter, walk around the stage or head to the restrooms, then leave without buying a drink. That may just be an urban legend, but Baccara did get so crowded that many visitors were able to stay a long time without buying a drink simply because the service staff couldn't keep track of them. Evil

This may be of interest to some: I'd never seen grilled crocodile on sale at a food stall, but there's one at the front of Central Festival. The operator wasn't selling much, but the stall was hugely popular for photos.

Welcome! You should have a good run here as our mutual stalker from Secrets is absent. Evil

Welcome! You should have a good run here as our mutual stalker from Secrets is absent. Evil

The site of a former small beer bar complex on the subsoi which ran between Sois 7 and 8.

I hadn't eaten at Jameson's Irish Pub in years but tried it again the other night as I was staying in a hotel nearby. It wasn't a convenient location for me, but the main reason I didn't go back often was the funereal interior. When I visit an Irish pub, I want to be reminded of leprechauns and the Blarney Stone, not haunted castles, banshees and the Cóiste Bodhar. Typical American tourist attitude, I know, but I don't like gloomy bars and restaurants. The food as I remember it had been good, but friends said it had gone down in recent years. I did have a good meal there the other night. The interior, though, was as uninviting as I recalled, except it wasn't as cavernous as before. Jameson's has been cut in half to make way for a yet-to-open pizza place. I had the roast chicken dinner for 245 baht. On the plate I got half a chicken, roast and mashed potatoes, a boast of gravy and the usual medley of boiled veggies. The chicken had been roasted properly and was moist. The potatoes were fine. The veggies were a bit soft for me, but that's a matter of individual preference. The gravy seemed to a generic out-of-a-package and overly salty, so I didn't bother with it. In all, it was good meal. Not outstanding, but good. A bottle of water cost 30 baht, so the whole meal put me back 275 baht. Bottom line: Jameson's location and gloomy interior are negatives, but based on my chicken dinner, the food wouldn't deter me from another visit if I felt like pub fare. Here's the location for those unfamiliar with it. If you're riding the Second Road baht bus, get off just before Soi 6, cross the street and take Soi 4 to Jameson's. It has some decent prices on pints during its Happy Hours, but so do many other bars. Evil

Jameson's has been cut in half to make way for a pizza place that hasn't opened yet.

My favorite is, "Ten With A Two" "Last night I came in at 2 with a 10 But at 10 I woke up with a 2 I've got 20/20 vision when I ain't drinking But lord when I get on that booze I ain't never gone to bed with an ugly woman But I sure woke up with a few Last night I came in at 2 with a 10 But at 10 I woke up with a 2 Now you may laugh But if you've got the cash I'll bet you 10 to 1 you have too."

Yes on both counts. But you have to enjoy U.S.-style cooking. Evil

A big bowl of "MaMa" noodles with ground pork and a poached egg.

It's done in the U.S. as well. A small restaurant will have a lengthy menu, but only the most popular dishes are made fresh daily. The ones that are ordered only occasionally come from the ready-to-serve vacuum packs or even frozen meals. 😲 The restaurant owners say it is the only way they can remain in business. Jesus wept. Evil

I've heard that quite a few Indian restaurants in Pattaya do this. Almost all the meals in some of these restaurants come from vacuum packs. Evil

If any individual is interested in foreign food and eats a fair amount of it, they get an idea of how it should taste, even if they aren't professional chefs or cooks. That's more or less the case with your Miss Indo. However, many Thai cooks (not professionally trained Thai chefs. but the informally taught cooks in smaller restaurants) have never eaten farang food and only prepare it from a recipe. I recall once a cook in a Thai restaurant asked me if my plate of food was OK. She said she had never tasted that dish- "only make it" -because she doesn't like farang food and it all tastes bad to her. Evil