Britboy

Thanks Steelers. Just been swapping messages with @nampla69, he's suggesting a take out from Devil's Den. Must say that sounds attractive this afternoon as it's bloody hot and humid out there. Been out to change some money (36.87) was the best I could get. Yeeks. Sweating my nuts off with a 100 yard walk and back. Be good if they came to me . . . Anyway, don't want to TF my own thread, so will keep off the taboo subject . . 😉

No worries mate, I'll be coming in during the week.

So hung around LK last night, watched the Ipswich game in Rock House, Alex kindly put it on for me. Had one particular girl on TF that looked nice, was swapping messages with her throughout the game and decided to give her a try. She's a beautician in a local salon, finished work at 10 pm, so I thought, ok, I'll see you after the football. Agreed 1500 short time and arranged to meet her at 11.15 in the lobby of Evergreen. So she shows up very drunk. That's something that really pisses me off, I'll never take a girl from a gogo or bar if they're pissed. In 5 minutes she gave me her life story, how her farang husband had recently left her, she doesn't want to go with men but now he's gone she needs money, I'm the first blah blah blah. She said she spoke to her boss who allegedly advised her to go to her first customer drunk. Couldn't believe it. This all happened in the lobby too, thankfully nobody else about. She got her marching orders. She was upset and knew she'd done the wrong thing, so I gave her 500 baht and told her to go home. That's 3 girls I've had from TF, 2 out of 3 have been successful. The gogo dancer gets back tonight, she's sending me messages from the bus right now. 11 hours sat in a bus must be mind numbing. I'll see her tonight for a drink, but moving tomorrow so won't have a late one and will sleep alone. As I have full tanks after last nights failure I think I'll sort out a massage today. There's a couple in the road opposite that I can see from my balcony and there's a new place open directly beneath my balcony. I swap waves with the girls when I'm out having a smoke, but they don't look like the naughty sort. @nampla69 has recommended a place on Soi Honey - have walked down that street and it's full of massage places. But I prefer it in my room, so may wander over the road and see if I can persuade one to come over to my place.

Mmmmmm . . . as a PM ok, will see what else I can dig out . . I did have a convo with John Luke about the pics I posted before, so have it from the horses mouth, so to speak.

We outplayed them the entire game but couldn't get the 2nd goal. Then the inevitable defensive balls up cost us a draw . . . so frustrating. I was gonna say we "hammered" them, but thought better of it as that might make you think of other results . . 😉 Really pleased with how we played though. Bodes well for the season.

Quick update, though covered some of the shit side of things in my reply to Pumpuynarak. I knew this would happen, once girls get their mitts into you a bit they try and take over. This Agency gogo girl, who is currently back with her daughter and mum, is coming back tomorrow night. Getting constant messages to say she'll be back in Pattaya, can meet and she can help me pack my stuff and help me move in on Monday. I'm telling her in a polite way that I prefer to pack and move myself (which is true) - what I'm really saying is "bloody leave me alone!!). I'll meet her for a drink, but no way is she coming to my room. I need to concentrate to get my shit together to move on Monday morning. She said she's not signed up to go back to work yet. I've told her to do just that, partly because I've got the bank girl coming on Wednesday, so have told her I'm going to Bangkok on Wednesday on business for the rest of the week and that I'll need to go there on a regular basis going forward. I guess I'm just being too nice. I did say at the very beginning that I'd be banging other girls - that seems to have slipped from her memory . . She is really cute though and she's promised to learn how to not put teeth marks in my helmet . . 😫 Let's see what happens, but really looking forward to this bank girl coming. She'll be the first female in my condo (unless I grab one Tuesday night), but I intend to have full tanks for her. One other interesting tactic (by the girls) I've come across for the first time. It was in Lady Love the other night. I had a great time in there (cost me 3k in drinks though) but one girl came over initially when I first sat down and said "I remember you, long time, I go with you before". Interesting tactic cos I'm f***d if I can remember all the girls I've been with. So I played the "oh yeah, I remember" and bought her a drink. As the conversation went on and I had a closer look at her, I thought no way would I ever have barfined you. So I started to ask a few questions (she did know my name, but I can put that down to being in there the night before with @nampla69). I asked her which hotel I took her to (only ever stayed at Hilton and Sheraton before this trip). Surprise, surprise, she couldn't tell me. So funny, so called her out. It was a hefty tab, but I had a shedload of red wine (including a replacement one after one girl accidentally knocked one over) but great fun. Of course I got some hangers on once they saw I was buying girls drinks, but no worry. Had a great laugh with a couple of the mamasans, who took care of me well. One of them (mid-40's I guess and overweight) was hinting at a drink, so I said I needed to see her tits, then I'd buy her one. She was shy to do that, so I said ok, let me feel them then, under her top. She was up for that (massive pair). So she got a drink and got real face in front of the hot girls that I was buying drinks for. I realise there'll be those that think I'm just the typical LDOP, but I intend to have some fun while I'm here. I won't be doing that every night, but once in a while, usually when it's not expected, when the vibe is good, why not? Haven't decided what to do tonight yet. Not been over to WS since the first night I arrived (8 days ago, it's flown by) so may well go to see Phil at Le Pub first. Actually, @misteregg, any chance of showing the Ipswich v Sunderland game on one of your screens at 9 pm? 😉

Yeah, the aircon is quite noisy and pretty useless. It never gets down to the temperature entered in the keypad, bloody thing is booming all night. However noisy the aircon is though it doesn't drown out the horrendous music noise from outside. Haven't come across it before cos I'm always out, but last night decided to give the bars and gogos a miss and hit the sack at 10 pm. The din from outside was unbearable. Thankfully moving into the apartment on Monday, so won't be a problem going forward but whatever won't be staying here again.

You're so right about the shower in the bathtub. I'm in one of the "luxury" rooms, bit of a joke title really. Apart from difficulty getting in and out and water is so inconsistent. Can't set it to keep a constant temperature, fucking thing keeps turning burning hot in a millisecond . . . . Great there's interest in what I'm up to, will keep updating and things (and shit) happens . .

Thanks Namps - would love to meet up with Steelers. The card is a great idea and now I've got a Thai phone number may well do the same thing.

Thanks mate. You're spot on about having a list of desirables - when I'm in Jomtien it will save a lot of legwork getting into Patts. Let them come to me . . Can't beat a fun night out at the gogos though. Last night went to Lady Love in LK, had a blast. Also went in Dolls too, had some fun in there. There were 3 dancers on stage with bikinis on, one of them pointed to the sign and bell that said "buy a drink for the ladies dancing". All 3 were quite attractive, so I gave them the thumbs up with the gesture of pulling their bikini tops up. They giggled, had a quick convo and nodded. So I counted 1, 2 and on 3 they all lifted up their bikini tops. Great laugh and bought them each a drink.

Be great to meet you Mr Smooth, so please let me know when you're in town and I'll come to Phil's place . .

Ouch . . . It had improved enough today to have a ST with a real stunner from TF. So, so pretty. Great site that. Things gradually coming together, android box almost sorted for receiving Sky Sports, etc. Really looking forward to moving in to the Jomtien apartment on Monday. I'm staying in the Evergreen Wing of the Areca and it's very tired. The internet is piss poor too, which is an absolutely pain in the arse.

Thanks Krapow, nice to be mentioned in dispatches . . . I have a mate who lives in Birmingham but works in London (he's a GM at a Grosvenor casino) who has won the Telegraph fantasy football 3 times in the last 4 years. He won £40k as winner last season. But crikey it took a fair bit of his time, working out team selections and transfers for each game. I'll have a look at it mate, though hectic getting myself sorted in Pattaya right now.

Exactly roomark, couldn't have put it better myself. Of course the £ is shit and some pricing has gone up, but it's still great value.

Yep, I know all the games they play and as soon as she told me she worked in a bar I knew what was coming. But it was fun and she didn't charge lady drink prices, showed me the bill all the way through the evening and when the other two girls showed up (undoubtedly they were called because of the Aussies, French and Belgian drop-ins) they weren't down to me. Guess I was there about 5 hours, two checkbins (cos I was gonna go half way through but changed my mind) the total was just under 4k. Considering I drank two bottles of red it was a good value, fun night. The gogo girl is going back to her Isaan home tonight before coming back to do another 10 day stint. Even after the rollicking I gave her for the love bite and scraping half my helmet off I'm now getting the messages "do you want to be with me so I can take care of you? I need to tell the gogo bar if I'm not going back". Made me piss myself. Very diplomatic answer back saying I've only just arrived in Pattaya, need to move into my condo, get used to Pattaya, settle in and don't want to make big decisions yet".

This clip always makes me crack up - the out takes are even funnier . . .

Thankfully I've managed to put the bank girl off until next week, using the excuse I prefer her to come once I've moved into the condo next Monday . . . 😁 That'll be ample recovery time . . .

Appreciate the up-votes guys. Now 4 nights in, been brilliant, with a couple of downers. Sunday night met this gogo dancer from a WS gogo. Didn't actually go there, picked her up from TF. Really cute and only about 4ft 11. I'm not massive, about 6 ft, but having this wee thing walking hand in hand with me did make me feel a bit awkward. Would much rather a girl be 5ft 5. Anyway, arranged for her to meet me in Rockhouse (LK Metro). She said she was nervous and worried about her English, so I told her she could bring a friend. Good job actually, her friend did a great job. She works in a bar in Soi Honey. So a few drinks in Rockhouse, got to chat with Scottish owner, nice guy. Then went for dinner. This gogo dancer is Agency, works 10 days then can have as many days off as she likes, then back for what must be 10 straight nights, or they get docked big time or sometimes sacked. She said she's never been with a customer, been doing this for 4 months. Pinch of salt of course, but subsequent events makes me believe she's actually telling the truth. After dinner her friend persuaded us to go for a few drinks at the bar she works in Soi Honey. It's pretty much down the end and is bit of a shithole, but hey ho, let's make our own party. To start with we were the only customers in there. They did have the usual YouTube music playing and showing on the TV, so I ended up being DJ. We ended up attracting a few other punters in, couple of aussies, French and Belgian guys. Turned into a bit of a party as a couple of other girls showed up too. Amazing how the girls who are shy with English slowly speak more as the level of alcohol intake increases . . . By the time we left she was speaking pretty well and had grown in confidence. Back in the room she was very inexperienced though. She said I was the first farang she'd been with. Mmmmm, pinch of salt again, but she certainly played that role. Love it when a girl says "ooooohhh, you're so big" and to be fair it was a real squeeze. The BJ was pretty dreadful, lots of contact between teeth and flesh . . . ouch, fucking ouch . . . She had to leave at 5.30 am - she does a Facetime call with her mom and daughter at 6 am every day. Her mom doesn't know she works at a gogo, so she's paranoid about letting her mom see any other surroundings other than her room. Whether this is all true or not, who knows. Don't really care. I did the gentlemanly thing and got up with her at 5.30 to at least see her out of the room. She pointed at the very upper part of my chest, which I felt was odd, but where she pointed wasn't visible. I was half asleep, so after she left I just crashed again until midday. Got up to have a shower, looked in the bathroom mirror and saw what she'd been pointing at. She'd given me a fucking love bite!!! Christ I was angry and apart from that her teeth-using BJ had caused some nasty damage. I've got a "good" girl (works in a bank) coming to stay with me for a couple of nights tomorrow. So here's me, with a love bite on my chest and a helmet the size of St Paul's cathedral, wondering if I'm going to be able to get away with both these ailments healing in time for the arrival of this really hot chick. Anyone got any tips to heal a massively swollen helmet? 😧 Only in Thailand - can't beat it. Different challenges every day . . .

Thanks Phil, really enjoyed the night. I'll be back very soon (and I think you know one of the main reasons why . . 😉). There's a couple of reasons I won't be in for a couple of nights, which will be explained in the update I'm shortly about to post below . . . 😫

while Patts is somewhat quiet I've had a great time. Just want to say a few thank you's. First night in Le Pub - nice to see Phil again and thanks for the hospitality. I'll be coming on a regular basis. Great to meet John Luke and his good lady. So good to put names/handles to faces and enjoyed your company. Also good to meet Larry. Many thanks to JDM too - what a star, finding me the perfect apartment. Not even one of his, he spotted the ad in the local foodmart, made the initial contact and was good enough to drive me over there yesterday. I couldn't have wished for a more ideal place, overlooking the ocean, just what I wanted. And what can I say about Namps? Absolutely brilliant to meet you mate. Two brilliant nights out, one in WS and last night in LK. Such a laugh. Upstairs at Kink is something else - will definitely be going there again. I've found the girls attitude to be very good and fun, in both WS and LK. Only issue I've had so far was in one particular gogo on WS, where I was one of about 6 guys in there. Got eye contact with an especially pretty girl, gestured for her to come and down and bought her a drink. Had about 15 minute chat, was going really well and I was thinking barfine. Then the mamasan came over and told her to go dance. Unbelievable. The stage was full of girls with only half a dozen punters. The girl got up on the stage and gestured she was upset at having to get up. I immediately check-binned and legged it, with the girl giving me the crying gesture as I walked out. Complete idiot mamasan, causing the place to lose some more drinks, probably a barfine and me as a customer now. That's been the only negative in the first 2 days, everything else has been fantastic. I'm looking forward to my 6 month stay and meeting more of you guys.

Get what you say Phil, but it's such a celebration to win the claret jug. It's hard to fathom the bottle these guys have, especially starting the final round a few shots ahead. I'm afraid it is one of my claims to fame - I've drunk champagne out of the claret jug. I've been a Wentworth member since 1989 - when Ernie won the British Open a few of us played the west course in the morning and sat in the clubhouse all afternoon watching the final round on a big screen tv. Great atmosphere as Ernie won it. After the formalities and his media commitments he jumped onto his private jet, zoomed back to Surrey, dropped his family off at the house and came into the Wentworth clubhouse. What a night that was. We drank the place out of champagne (he covered the entire bill for us, including everything we ate and drank since getting in from playing). When he first arrived he poured a bottle of DP into the claret jug and we passed it round. It wasn't the "actual" claret jug - they give the winners a replica which they're instructed to use for any public appearances. Did the job for us though.

Very un-PC, but made me laugh . . . .

Listened to Talksport while driving to golf today and they did a piece on him. Apparently it was after Channel 4 decided to revamp their horse racing programme and dispensed with his services that he went downhill quickly. It hit him hard. Had a great wife behind him apparently, who looked out for him in every aspect of his life. I'm not into horse racing at all, but he was a great personality and a good watch, particularly when he was on general programmes not related to horse racing. Controversial sometimes, he called a spade a spade, was very blunt at times and upset a few people, but he just said things as he saw them. Nowt wrong with that. Rest in peace John.

Typos on Thai menu's always make me smile . . . . Potatoe, Toasts . . .

Very nice rear view . . . 😁