Britboy

Yeah, the aircon is quite noisy and pretty useless. It never gets down to the temperature entered in the keypad, bloody thing is booming all night. However noisy the aircon is though it doesn't drown out the horrendous music noise from outside. Haven't come across it before cos I'm always out, but last night decided to give the bars and gogos a miss and hit the sack at 10 pm. The din from outside was unbearable. Thankfully moving into the apartment on Monday, so won't be a problem going forward but whatever won't be staying here again.

You're so right about the shower in the bathtub. I'm in one of the "luxury" rooms, bit of a joke title really. Apart from difficulty getting in and out and water is so inconsistent. Can't set it to keep a constant temperature, fucking thing keeps turning burning hot in a millisecond . . . . Great there's interest in what I'm up to, will keep updating and things (and shit) happens . .

Thanks Namps - would love to meet up with Steelers. The card is a great idea and now I've got a Thai phone number may well do the same thing.

Thanks mate. You're spot on about having a list of desirables - when I'm in Jomtien it will save a lot of legwork getting into Patts. Let them come to me . . Can't beat a fun night out at the gogos though. Last night went to Lady Love in LK, had a blast. Also went in Dolls too, had some fun in there. There were 3 dancers on stage with bikinis on, one of them pointed to the sign and bell that said "buy a drink for the ladies dancing". All 3 were quite attractive, so I gave them the thumbs up with the gesture of pulling their bikini tops up. They giggled, had a quick convo and nodded. So I counted 1, 2 and on 3 they all lifted up their bikini tops. Great laugh and bought them each a drink.

Be great to meet you Mr Smooth, so please let me know when you're in town and I'll come to Phil's place . .

Ouch . . . It had improved enough today to have a ST with a real stunner from TF. So, so pretty. Great site that. Things gradually coming together, android box almost sorted for receiving Sky Sports, etc. Really looking forward to moving in to the Jomtien apartment on Monday. I'm staying in the Evergreen Wing of the Areca and it's very tired. The internet is piss poor too, which is an absolutely pain in the arse.

Thanks Krapow, nice to be mentioned in dispatches . . . I have a mate who lives in Birmingham but works in London (he's a GM at a Grosvenor casino) who has won the Telegraph fantasy football 3 times in the last 4 years. He won £40k as winner last season. But crikey it took a fair bit of his time, working out team selections and transfers for each game. I'll have a look at it mate, though hectic getting myself sorted in Pattaya right now.

Exactly roomark, couldn't have put it better myself. Of course the £ is shit and some pricing has gone up, but it's still great value.

Yep, I know all the games they play and as soon as she told me she worked in a bar I knew what was coming. But it was fun and she didn't charge lady drink prices, showed me the bill all the way through the evening and when the other two girls showed up (undoubtedly they were called because of the Aussies, French and Belgian drop-ins) they weren't down to me. Guess I was there about 5 hours, two checkbins (cos I was gonna go half way through but changed my mind) the total was just under 4k. Considering I drank two bottles of red it was a good value, fun night. The gogo girl is going back to her Isaan home tonight before coming back to do another 10 day stint. Even after the rollicking I gave her for the love bite and scraping half my helmet off I'm now getting the messages "do you want to be with me so I can take care of you? I need to tell the gogo bar if I'm not going back". Made me piss myself. Very diplomatic answer back saying I've only just arrived in Pattaya, need to move into my condo, get used to Pattaya, settle in and don't want to make big decisions yet".

This clip always makes me crack up - the out takes are even funnier . . .

Thankfully I've managed to put the bank girl off until next week, using the excuse I prefer her to come once I've moved into the condo next Monday . . . 😁 That'll be ample recovery time . . .

Appreciate the up-votes guys. Now 4 nights in, been brilliant, with a couple of downers. Sunday night met this gogo dancer from a WS gogo. Didn't actually go there, picked her up from TF. Really cute and only about 4ft 11. I'm not massive, about 6 ft, but having this wee thing walking hand in hand with me did make me feel a bit awkward. Would much rather a girl be 5ft 5. Anyway, arranged for her to meet me in Rockhouse (LK Metro). She said she was nervous and worried about her English, so I told her she could bring a friend. Good job actually, her friend did a great job. She works in a bar in Soi Honey. So a few drinks in Rockhouse, got to chat with Scottish owner, nice guy. Then went for dinner. This gogo dancer is Agency, works 10 days then can have as many days off as she likes, then back for what must be 10 straight nights, or they get docked big time or sometimes sacked. She said she's never been with a customer, been doing this for 4 months. Pinch of salt of course, but subsequent events makes me believe she's actually telling the truth. After dinner her friend persuaded us to go for a few drinks at the bar she works in Soi Honey. It's pretty much down the end and is bit of a shithole, but hey ho, let's make our own party. To start with we were the only customers in there. They did have the usual YouTube music playing and showing on the TV, so I ended up being DJ. We ended up attracting a few other punters in, couple of aussies, French and Belgian guys. Turned into a bit of a party as a couple of other girls showed up too. Amazing how the girls who are shy with English slowly speak more as the level of alcohol intake increases . . . By the time we left she was speaking pretty well and had grown in confidence. Back in the room she was very inexperienced though. She said I was the first farang she'd been with. Mmmmm, pinch of salt again, but she certainly played that role. Love it when a girl says "ooooohhh, you're so big" and to be fair it was a real squeeze. The BJ was pretty dreadful, lots of contact between teeth and flesh . . . ouch, fucking ouch . . . She had to leave at 5.30 am - she does a Facetime call with her mom and daughter at 6 am every day. Her mom doesn't know she works at a gogo, so she's paranoid about letting her mom see any other surroundings other than her room. Whether this is all true or not, who knows. Don't really care. I did the gentlemanly thing and got up with her at 5.30 to at least see her out of the room. She pointed at the very upper part of my chest, which I felt was odd, but where she pointed wasn't visible. I was half asleep, so after she left I just crashed again until midday. Got up to have a shower, looked in the bathroom mirror and saw what she'd been pointing at. She'd given me a fucking love bite!!! Christ I was angry and apart from that her teeth-using BJ had caused some nasty damage. I've got a "good" girl (works in a bank) coming to stay with me for a couple of nights tomorrow. So here's me, with a love bite on my chest and a helmet the size of St Paul's cathedral, wondering if I'm going to be able to get away with both these ailments healing in time for the arrival of this really hot chick. Anyone got any tips to heal a massively swollen helmet? 😧 Only in Thailand - can't beat it. Different challenges every day . . .

Thanks Phil, really enjoyed the night. I'll be back very soon (and I think you know one of the main reasons why . . 😉). There's a couple of reasons I won't be in for a couple of nights, which will be explained in the update I'm shortly about to post below . . . 😫

while Patts is somewhat quiet I've had a great time. Just want to say a few thank you's. First night in Le Pub - nice to see Phil again and thanks for the hospitality. I'll be coming on a regular basis. Great to meet John Luke and his good lady. So good to put names/handles to faces and enjoyed your company. Also good to meet Larry. Many thanks to JDM too - what a star, finding me the perfect apartment. Not even one of his, he spotted the ad in the local foodmart, made the initial contact and was good enough to drive me over there yesterday. I couldn't have wished for a more ideal place, overlooking the ocean, just what I wanted. And what can I say about Namps? Absolutely brilliant to meet you mate. Two brilliant nights out, one in WS and last night in LK. Such a laugh. Upstairs at Kink is something else - will definitely be going there again. I've found the girls attitude to be very good and fun, in both WS and LK. Only issue I've had so far was in one particular gogo on WS, where I was one of about 6 guys in there. Got eye contact with an especially pretty girl, gestured for her to come and down and bought her a drink. Had about 15 minute chat, was going really well and I was thinking barfine. Then the mamasan came over and told her to go dance. Unbelievable. The stage was full of girls with only half a dozen punters. The girl got up on the stage and gestured she was upset at having to get up. I immediately check-binned and legged it, with the girl giving me the crying gesture as I walked out. Complete idiot mamasan, causing the place to lose some more drinks, probably a barfine and me as a customer now. That's been the only negative in the first 2 days, everything else has been fantastic. I'm looking forward to my 6 month stay and meeting more of you guys.

Get what you say Phil, but it's such a celebration to win the claret jug. It's hard to fathom the bottle these guys have, especially starting the final round a few shots ahead. I'm afraid it is one of my claims to fame - I've drunk champagne out of the claret jug. I've been a Wentworth member since 1989 - when Ernie won the British Open a few of us played the west course in the morning and sat in the clubhouse all afternoon watching the final round on a big screen tv. Great atmosphere as Ernie won it. After the formalities and his media commitments he jumped onto his private jet, zoomed back to Surrey, dropped his family off at the house and came into the Wentworth clubhouse. What a night that was. We drank the place out of champagne (he covered the entire bill for us, including everything we ate and drank since getting in from playing). When he first arrived he poured a bottle of DP into the claret jug and we passed it round. It wasn't the "actual" claret jug - they give the winners a replica which they're instructed to use for any public appearances. Did the job for us though.

Very un-PC, but made me laugh . . . .

Listened to Talksport while driving to golf today and they did a piece on him. Apparently it was after Channel 4 decided to revamp their horse racing programme and dispensed with his services that he went downhill quickly. It hit him hard. Had a great wife behind him apparently, who looked out for him in every aspect of his life. I'm not into horse racing at all, but he was a great personality and a good watch, particularly when he was on general programmes not related to horse racing. Controversial sometimes, he called a spade a spade, was very blunt at times and upset a few people, but he just said things as he saw them. Nowt wrong with that. Rest in peace John.

Typos on Thai menu's always make me smile . . . . Potatoe, Toasts . . .

Very nice rear view . . . 😁

Well, straight after finishing in the office hit the casino. Got there early, had some dinner (black card, so free food and booze . . 😁). Sea bass - most of the food is crap, but they do this well . . . The GM opened the 3 card poker for me, 5th hand nice straight flush, 8, 9 and 10 of diamonds, 35/1 with £20 on it, thank you very much . . . A few flushes but some crap too, but walked out 90 minutes later £1k up . . . nice start to the weekend . . 😀

That's a beauty mate. I'm told Barbel give you a good fight. Catching a big 'un on light tackle would be great fun. What bait did you use to catch that one?

Sounds great. Caught a few decent chub in my time, but never caught a barbel. That's on my bucket list . . . 😉 Used to love overnight carp fishing in the large ponds in Norfolk in my twenties. Plenty of beer at night and fry ups in the mornings. Great days. We used to catch the odd carp too . . .

Very nice. Years since I went fishing, used to love it. Are you carp fishing? Caught any?

I was an apprentice printer back in the day and proof reading was one of the major parts of passing the apprenticeships, so spelling mistakes just hit me straight away. It really annoys some of my staff sometimes as they know how pedantic I am, they'll read their proposals a hundred times, submit it and I'll spot a typo. Tee hee.

I can imagine this is a fantastic book and one I'll definitely buy. Shame they couldn't spell "Britain" in the ad though . . . pretty poor form that.