AussieBob

Obviously like all others my age, I watched Rod Marsh keep for Australia - absolute champion. It was Marsh who tried to stop Greg Chappell when he did that disgraceful underarm incident - he never thought he was bigger than the game. I met Marshy once at the U19 Nationals when the team I was coaching played against SA. He was a very polite and softly spoken guy who told it straight - he knew what he was talking about and it was never about himself - not at all like the previous two Australia Coaches. RIP.

Some time ago I was asked "Why?" Why did I retire early, and leave Australia and go to Thailand, and end up marrying a Thai lady. This question was not asked by one of those obnoxious bigoted bogan Aussies that assume all Thai girls are 'bar girls' who can and do rip them off if/when they marry them. No - this was a reasonable and genuine question from a very well educated bloke that I had known in business for many years. He had met my Thai wife and was very impressed – she was not at all what he had expected. There was an obvious answer - not wanting to be divorced and financially 'raped' again by a western bitch, like several older mates in Australia who had married again. But the answer was much more than just that. There was also the answer that Thailand is a lovely country that is so much better than our oppressive Australian Nanny State, and it has a far cheaper cost of living - but the answer was also more than just that. There was also the answer that the vast majority of Thai ladies look after themselves physically much better than most of the women in Australia who see marriage as a reason to no longer need to resist food, but the answer was more than that too. In fact the answer was not that easy to provide quickly. I though about it for a while, and then I gave my answer: “Because I could (retire early), because Thailand is great (location), and because my Thai wife does not think”. I then gave some examples of what I meant about the wife not thinking back then, but for this purpose I have though a lot more about the answer. The answer in more detail for why I ended up marrying and living with my Thai wife, is because she does not think: That she is a princess, That the sun shines out of her backside/frontside, That being feminine is somehow ‘wrong’, That being fat is OK, That she is ‘equal’ to any man at everything, That she needs to ‘find herself’, That she needs to be ‘empowered’ and ‘validated’, That she needs the ‘approval’ of other women, That cleaning the house or doing the washing is somehow ‘demeaning’, That she is not accountable for the things she does in her life, That she is not totally responsible for her own life, That she can tell other people how they should live their life, That anyone can tell her how she should live her life, That it is her Parent’s/Government’s job to look after her, That it is her Husband’s job to give her whatever she wants, That other people should behave ‘properly’, That she can complain about anything that she doesn’t like or agree with, That she deserves to be given gifts constantly to prove she is ‘loved’, That her husband needs to be ‘managed’ and ‘improved’, That having a beer with my mates means I dont want to be with her, That I must build up ‘credit points’ before I can do something without her, That I must be nagged to get things done around the home, That cats are lovely trustworthy animals, That dogs are dirty and stupid, That burps or farts are extremely offensive and disgusting, That doing anything dangerous (driving a car, bike etc) cannot be enjoyed, That she can drive a car or ride a bike as good as any man, That she is what matters in our relationship, That growing her own vegetables and herbs is demeaning, and many other things too. But she is a lady and therefore she does not easily accept that she can be wrong, or that she can be criticised, or that she can be laughed at. And once a month or so she is grumpy and moody for a few days. Most Thai school girls are not the nasty vindictive bitches to each other that most western schoolgirls are, and are not brought being told they are ‘equal’ and that women have been ‘oppressed’ for hundreds of years. Therefore most Thai school girls do not take on the defensive and nasty and self-centred persona, that most young western girls do. Thai women (even at 50+) are still girls, and they enjoy having fun; being feminie and pretty; being silly; shopping; talking crap to other Thai women. Thai women are extremely self-conscious about their appearance and beauty and that is a good thing, not a bad thing, unlike what the western feminists state. My Thai wife is a lovely feminine Thai lady and she is the best thing that has ever happened in my life – period. That is why I married a Thai lady when I was in my late 50s.

A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date. "Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?" "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied. "It's not polite.." "OK", the little girl says, "How much do you weigh?" "Now really," the mother says, "those are personal questions and are really none of your business." Undaunted, the little girl asks, "Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?" "That is enough questions, young lady, honestly!" The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play. "My Mom won't tell me anything about her," the little girl says to her friend. "Well," says the friend, "all you need to do is look at her drivers license. It is like a report card, it has everything ! on it." Later that night the little girl says to her mother, "I know how old you are, you are 32." The mother is surprised and asks, "How did you find that out? "I also know that you weigh 140 pounds." The mother is past surprised and shocked now. "How in heaven's name did you find that out?" "And," the little girl says triumphantly, "I know! why you and daddy got a divorce." "What?" the mother asks. "Why?" "Because you only got an F in sex.'

A traveling salesman rings the doorbell. 10 year old little Johnny opens, holding a beer and smoking a cigarette. The salesman says, "Hello little boy - is your mother home?" Little Johnny taps his ash on the carpet and says, "What do you think dickhead?"

Men: How to impress a woman on a first date Take her somewhere romantic: Don’t be a cheapskate: Make an effort with your appearance: Be charming: Open doors for her: Walk on the curbside: Take her coat/ give her yours: Put your phone away: Compliment her: Ask questions about her: Be funny, but not cocky: Buy her flowers: Pay the bill: Don’t try to sleep with her on the first date: Women: How to impress a man on a first date Go to his place and plan to stay Arrive wearing a coat and nothing underneath: Bring beer:

It is things like that which help you realise we are all mortal and that all we really own is our health - first thing we get and the last thing we lose. A close mate of mine, who I am now older than, got sick in March and we buried him in October. Just like that - cancer. He was very over weight and smoked and drank too much - but until then I never knew him to get sick at all. Sounds stupid, but it was that year that made me realise in my 50s, that life is short - and there is no need to make it shorter. That was my kick-start moment - stopped smoking completely, cut down drinking, and started eating better.

What an amazing life experience - something that so many people in the past have experienced, but which today is rarely occurring outside of 3rd world countries. Glad to hear you got through OK and best wishes going forward.

Mate - she sure looks like a good one. And remember you are still young - there are lots of good ones who will look after you when you get really old (over 75/80) if you know where to look - massage places is one place - but not bars (usually). Yes - Somchai was less than impressed with me waking him up 🙂. I know a little bit about guns, but until then no one had ever actually pointed one at me with 'intent' - it is something you dont want to know about. I aint no bleeding heart soy boy social warrior metrosexual type - but I had visions of that moment for a few days/nights.

Yep - carbs are the enemy - lots of them in beer and chocolate (less in dark but still lots). The good thing about being 'good' and succeeding is that every now and then you can reward yourself with something 'special' - not something 'bad' of course - but a really good big steak with mushroom gravy and veggies etc. with a glass or two of a really good red. And let me tell you - when you only have one every few months or so - it tastes f-in fantastic. And the next few days you dont have to eat much at all - lasts a long time.

Good approach - find what works for you and stick at it - slowly slowly catchy monkey.

100% correct mate - the guys who worked hard physically, and the athletes - they are the ones who put it on big time when they stop doing all that exercise. Their body still wants the food, but they are not burning it up and as the years go by, their metabolism slows. One of the many good things about being a bloke, is that losing weight is a lot easier than it is for the girls - unless they go for a gastrectomy. I found the key was having a reason, then it was a matter of implementing a plan. I decided there are foods I must remove and others I must limit:- I dont drink any sodas or red bull or fruit drinks, very little beer or wine (spirits now and then), no cheese, no chips or cheese snacks, no bacon (aaargh), not much milk (light only), no processed meats, very little fast foods (Maccas etc.), no frozen veggies or anything like that (it is all a lie), very little sweets (chocolate/ice cream etc.), only 2-3 coffee/tea a day, limited rice, and more I cant think of right now. But I eat a lot of fresh veggies, fruit (but not too much), lean steak, chicken, fish, pork (in Thailand only), and others also forgotten. But - without a Thai wife that would probably not have happened so well - she only used fresh stuff and prepares it all herself. But the 2 big things I did before doing all that. 1. Drink a lot more water - a lot - started every day with a big glass of water before anything else - and then kept going. 2. Bought a decent set of scales and weighed myself first thing every morning - that way I immediately knew if I was trending up or down.

I hear you - my first visit was in my 50s so I was a lot calmer than when in my 30s. Several times I walked away from anything that could be a confrontation, and once I found the right one, the Thai wife was always able to explain if I ever did anything without realising it. I learned eventually, and now I am in mid-60s I am much better at seeing it before it arises. I learned about the 'explosive' Thai temper when I had a bit of a confrontation with one of those Police security guards 'on duty' at a shopping centre car park exit - also in Chiang Mai. I was exiting the carpark from the Central Mall near the airport, and I needed to go across 3 lanes to get into the right lane to turn right. Turning left meant going several kilos towards the airport before you could do a U turn and come back. So I was waiting for the traffic in the inside leans to go, when a few cars behind me bipped the horn. I ignored them and tried to get them to go up the inside of me to go left, but the car behind did not move and the rest could not move, so a few more bipped their horn. Next thing I knew there was a 'policeman' walking over and screaming at me in Thai with arms waving about. So I tried to use arms gestures to show I wanted to go across the traffic to 'those' lights and that was why I was waiting. He exploded - his eyes went red - and he pulled his gun out and pointed at me. Needless to say I immediately drove off to the left and nearly caused a massive accident - but somehow no one hit me. He went from angry and upset, to absolute psychotic in an instant - unbelievable - but I learned a lot that day. The wife explained that he was probably 'on duty' asleep in the box, and the cars beeping woke him up. Talk about a different world.

I hear you - there are a lot of Thai men that are basically cowards as we see it in the West. Our notion that a man on man resolution to an issue is OK, is alien to Thais - one of them has to lose face that way and they cannot accept that. So it is usually they go away and get a gun to safe face, or there is a bunch of them who all get together to beat the other guy up. Being beaten up by a 'gang' seems OK to them, but losing one on one is unacceptable and they will kill to save face. It is wrong, but I will avoid ever get involved in a violent aggressive confrontation with a Thai in Thailand at all costs. But if it ever comes to it then shoving the Thai person over aint gonna do it - you either severely hurt them, or you walk away. If you do ever get violent, then you immediately invoke 'Plan E' and get the pharkk out of the country ASAP via whatever method you have pre-planned - and you never return. Not easy to do - so many ways they can catch you. That is again why it is best to just walk away. You will be in a Thai jail for a long time, even if you prove your actions to have been valid and acceptable - the Thais system of Law is as every Expat living there knows, is totally corrupt and as a 'Visitor' you have very few legal rights.

Thanks - glad to hear that. Unfortunately the Police in Thailand do get away with a lot - being 'relocated' instead of dismissed for serious offences tends to do that. I hope Ferrari Joe gets found guilty and sentenced to 20+ years - but I have my doubts.

I think that the Thai authorities will have to submit all their evidence before the Canadians will extradite them. Just being charged and a warrant is not enough - there has to be a hearing and the evidence reviewed etc. Yes I remember that incident in Pai - and many others. It is usually Thai on Thai, but occasional Expats too. The lesson is do not drink with Thais - and when drinking never insult or argue with them.