Mr. Smooth

A sincere and heartfelt thank you to everyone. To read so many kind words and sentiments, couldn't help but to bring a smile to my face, something I hadn't done much of lately. Very much appreciated. You lads are top shelf.

I lost my dad over the weekend. Though he was a prime candidate to catch the Corona virus, it wasn't from that. He died in his sleep from what I was told by my sister. He had suffered from a combination of several ailments that had plagued him the last years of his life and made his quality of life less than stellar. He enjoyed hearing of my travels over the years and a few stories gathered from many long drinking sessions among expat mates and fellow travelers, especially when in Pattaya. I bought him a beer mug from the Guinness brewery in Dublin when I took a tour and told him what an absolutely gorgeous country Ireland was and the people among the friendliest people on earth I had ever met. As he was half Irish, he would have loved having the chance to see it himself but never did. I think he lived somewhat vicariously through me and many times wish he could have enjoyed a pint with me during those moments. He was 78 and lived longer in retired life than do most men who had a career in law enforcement, for which I was grateful for that. I'm sad I wasn't there to tell him that I loved him and goodbye, but am comforted in knowing his suffering is no more. He will be with me in spirit from now on. I'll miss him deeply. RIP Dad.

I've kept out of this thread though I have followed along at times. These types of subjects usually devolve into pissing contests because someone doesn't care for another's opinion and the venom is let loose by exited fingers tapping rapidly on the keyboard. And that has been the case here. And to further cause massive pain across the board, regarding Thailand, is that about an hour ago, roughly 2 am, Easter Sunday morning, a good friend of mine, a Scottish bloke, living out near Lake Malapalangabetchabygollywow, informed me that from today forward for the next 3 weeks, there will be a complete ban of alcohol sales in order to fight this virus. So now, it is beer that is looked upon with a leery eye at being a major culprit in people spreading this dreaded virus across the landscape. That bottle of Sangsom, according to the Thailand government authorities, has now become Enemy Number One, in the war against Corona. You boys living over there, better save that last bottle of Chang in your fridge, or something a bit stronger in the cabinet, for the first weekend of May. It will be the finest tasting beer or spirit that has ever passed through your parched lips. And how much you want to bet that the virus will still be around?

While on a 2 week self quarantine, I didn't drink at all the first week as I normally dry out after returning home from a trip where I had drank quite a bit. Second week, took me the whole week to finish a bottle of Captain Morgan rum with coke and lime juice. Also had a few bottles of Pacifico beer, This week, being back to work and a bit more normalcy in my daily life, I've gotten home and enjoyed that after work beer or two each evening. And I need to buy another bottle of rum this weekend. And more lime juice. Think I'll go with Sailor Jerry Rum this time out.

I watched several of his videos and always enjoyed his "man about town" lighthearted banter. Seemed like a very decent and honorable guy. The type you would want to sit down and have a beer with. RIP.

Damn! I stand corrected. Monica Bellucci was 51? Jeez.....must have forgot, not sure if I ever saw that one. Might have missed it.

She was 94, and Goldfinger came out in 1964, when she was the Bond girl, and would have made her 39 at the time. I wonder if she was the oldest Bond girl in the series? I think she was even older than Sean Connery. I can't think off hand who would have been older in any of the other Bond films. Usually they tend to be late 20s, maybe early 30s when they are cast in an upcoming Bond movie. A good long life for sure.

As a guy who is about to come off a doctor's recommended quarantine these past 2 weeks and get back to work, I guess the biggest bugaboo for me has been the complete absence of any live sporting event to watch. No NBA, no baseball, have no idea what ESPN has been doing to fill the time, I get tired of always watching these sports debate shows....same same with all of them.....as a sports fan, it has been hard. I found myself channel surfing throughout my Direct TV OnDemand and checking out channels I've never bothered with before but curiosity would get the better of me. I wound up watching a decade old reality show starring Denise Richards, a former Bond girl from the days when Pierce Brosnan played 007 I believe. After watching just one episode, it's no wonder Charlie Sheen divorced her!

If the mortgage company is making that offer to her, and certainly to other clients I would assume, then wouldn't those 3 months being forgiven at the present time, simply be tacked on to the end of the 5 year loan in order to have the entire amount paid in full? I think for people in America, and certainly in California, there are 3 or 4 major banks making that same offer to their customers for a 90 day grace period, and simply adding those months on at the end of the term.

I read a great story on Bill Withers in Rolling Stone magazine some years ago. Working construction, then he recorded "Ain't No Sunshine", and his life changed. His wife managed his finances so his money was never pissed away like is the case with so many others. Great voice, I never heard a male singer hold a note longer than he did in "Lovely Day". It goes on and on. RIP.

Yeah, but if you go back in this thread 10 pages, three months ago back to the 2nd week of January, you'll see a decent jump in certain currencies since then. The USD was 30.08 then, now within a frog hair of 33. The Euro went from 33.58 to 35.75 and the GBP from 39.57 to nearly 41, now at 40.80. It could very well be that as this corona deal causes a greater economic meltdown in Thailand with business closed, the baht could weaken more going forward. Once this thing is over, and we will all get past it, American and Western European tourists could return to considerably more buying power with their money than before the pandemic. Lets see where this goes in another three months, to the first week of July and see where we're at.

Yeah, brought her back to the hotel I was staying at, wearing that purple t-shirt. And yes, she was a stunner!

Appreciate the kind words guys. My pleasure.

I'll wrap this up with a few more ladies who, as Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias once sang, "walked in and out my door", over these past few years, leading up to this most recent trip. Their physical attributes, as well as their intelligence and easy going manner has made my trips to Kenya a rousing success and I certainly have had many more memorable nights that ended on a very positive note the following morning than I have had in Thailand in the time that I first began going in 2013. As I mentioned, these girls aren't into the games that so many of us have had to deal with in Pattaya or elsewhere, aren't in it solely for the money, though it does factor in of course, nor do they have the mentality to want to have a new and different guy each night. That's just not the way they roll. One other distinction that could be a very good thing for members of this group, is that, quite simply, Kenya is a mature man's destination. All these years, I seldom see any guys younger than 40, and the vast majority I would say range from roughly 50-70 years old. Guys who are generally at an age where they would prefer a regular gf and not go out on the prowl every night or two, though some do....ahem! It is refreshing to not have to deal with the younger crowd, the "ugly American" so to speak, who thinks his shit don't stink and isn't shy about letting everyone within earshot know that, particularly after having a few drinks under his belt. As an American, these idiot blowhards are as insufferable to me as to anyone else from another country. There are also, blessedly, and absence of the "British hooligan" type, that 'roided up knucklehead with the shaved dome and tribal tattoos who are in serious need of being shown a lesson in respecting their hosts. If the guys here who are of a certain age and temperment that like the idea of the negative behaviors that can be so commonplace in Pattaya being practically nonexistent in Kenya, then maybe you would enjoy taking a trip over to have a good look for yourself. As someone who not only has made nearly a decade worth of visits there, but have plans to rent a place for a few months (visa on arrival, $50 USD for a 90 day stay) after retiring, as well as doing similar in Pattaya during a different part of the year, once you get a lay of the land, I don't think you would regret going. Gorgeous women, inexpensive food and transport, beautiful beaches, numerous places to get a drink and chat up friends and mates, and a bit less time to get to the Mombasa airport, roughly an hour in moderate traffic, than a taxi takes to generally get to Swampy from Pattaya, to me, Kenya offers a guy all he can hope to want and enjoy when making a trip. Thanks for coming along on this little journey. Hakuna matata, my friends!

The beaches along the Kenyan coast are among the most pristine I've ever been to. Mostly I've spent time on the coast north of Mombasa, but to the south, or South Coast where Diani Beach is, where the last photo was taken in this group, is a real jewel. With less population and development, as well as being more spread out up and down the coast, the peaceful and serene surroundings with a lack of both people in general, and the beach touts specifically, are just hypnotic in their beauty.

An example pertaining to the video Bazle posted earlier and my response as to not needing to simply rely on meeting a girl from the street, I met this young lady at the Kahama Hotel reception desk when visiting the sports bar one evening while I was staying at another hotel. Got her number and on her day off spent the day, and part of the evening, together. I find this approach immensely more satisfying in meeting someone rather than the street women. Gives you a chance to show off a bit of game, flirt and gauge their personality. And she is sizing you up as well. Most times, it makes for a successful and mutually beneficial get together. A nice GFE for sure.

Some random shots. You can set your watch when the goat herd comes down the street everyday at the same time to clear the weeds along the road. The camel is available to ride for a small fee should your inner Sir Lawrence of Arabia wish to emerge. The public beaches, sadly closed at the moment by the government due to the coronavirus, are very popular with the locals, especially the kids in the afternoon when school lets out or as here on a holiday weekend. The tide takes the sea out at least the length of 5 or 6 football fields and even when standing 300 yards offshore, the water depth might not even reach your thigh. The bottom is a soft, silty texture rather than a coarse grainy sand and the water feels like a luke warm bath tub. Needless to say, I have spent too many afternoons on the beach relaxing and enjoying the views to count.

As to the video Bazle asked about.....I simply detest these YouTube wanna be celebrities who film as they are walking around like some news correspondent. In reality, they are just wanting the attention and internet "fame" that such posted videos will give them. There are several of those who have done the same to the DomRep, and we all have seen those who have done it with Pattaya, and I don't mean those "how to live in Pattaya" or "retiring in Pattaya" vids, but the one's that only focus on the naughty nightlife and act as if by videoing the that aspect, they are somehow doing a public service. This guy doing the Mtwapa vid was only shining a light on a mere thin slice of the underbelly. Those girls on the road waiting for a client, I've walked right past them heading to somewhere else. I seldom ever saw any guy engage them, even a local Kenyan. They are all after a mzungu, or white man, of course, because they will generally get more money than with a local guy, but even still, those women represent a very small percentage of women in appearing on the street at night and advertising. I have mentioned how there is no need to simply rely on this particular segment of ladies. I never have. Just too many around who actually have real jobs who are looking for a little something extra, and if they do connect with a guy, then they are hoping for a long term deal where they come over to you each night. As far as feeling "safe", I feel safer there walking the streets at midnight or later, than in my own metro area of Sacramento. I can't tell you how many boda boda guys (motorbike taxi drivers) slow down and ask if I need a ride at night, or how many people in general wave and say "jambo"..hello...when they see me. I've never felt threatened in any way in 8 years of visiting and never felt my safety was in question either. I've been the only white face in a pub with 75 people inside before and felt right at home, just going with the flow. Regarding the Tusker beer....it is a clear and refreshing lager without any aftertaste like a Singha or Heinekin. They are served in a 500 ml sized bottle, roughly about 16 oz, and in the warm, humid weather, it goes down very well. Some nights I might put away 8 or 9. Generally not quite as cold as a beer served at your regular bar in Pattaya, but good enough in most cases. The price for a bottle was usually 200 kes ($2 USD) but a few spots had happy hour prices at 180 or even on certain weeknights, as low as 160. When going out on the piss in Mtwapa, you really don't need to leave your room with more than the equivalent of maybe $20 USD in your pocket. And that includes tip money for your servers.

And of course there is the food. Several very good restaurants in the area that cook up both western and Kenyan dishes. Due to Kenya being a mixture of several different regions that influence the food, African, Arab and Indian mostly, the seasonings and spices are numerous and a little pinch is often all you need to flavor up rice, nyoma choma, which is bbq'd meat, plenty of seafood choices and fresh vegetables and fruits. Many expats living there don't bother with more than an efficiency kitchen, with only a 2 burner hot plate and microwave, as to go out and eat is very inexpensive. The most expensive meals I've had were at beachfront hotel restaurants or bar and grills, where a whole grilled fish, rice, veggies and a side salad might run no more than 800 kes, or $8 USD. And the smaller, more basic Kenyan spots might serve up a coconut rice dish with grilled prawns for as little as 600 kes, or $6 USD. Just can't beat it for value and satisfaction.

A few more from a previous trip. The first one ran a shop selling small items and fresh fruit, the middle was a Nairobi woman from social media and the last, pictured here at 18, and a hopeless flirt, had a thing for me at first sight. Never did enjoy her charms until a year ago when she was about 22 or 23, and when she left, I could have kicked myself for not going in earlier. She was a fantastic performer, but also had a child by then and was eager to please in exchange for some shillings because, "baby needed a new pair of shoes".

This one was the reason for me visiting Kenya for the first time. The plan was for her to stay with me for the entire time. She had warned me of the aggressive nature of Kenyan women, how in clubs even if you were with someone, they would still try to get your attention. She lasted about 4 full days before deciding to return to Nairobi. At first, I didn't want her to leave but after getting my feet wet and exploring the area and seeing the wide range of beauties all over the place, it was probably best she left. Since, I've spent time both wifed up and being a free agent. Variety is the spice of life and there's plenty of seasonings to taste on the Kenya Coast.

Security is very important. Whether security checking the trunks and undercarriage of arriving vehicles or hotels doing the same, security guards standing outside the local mall would wand each person prior to entering. On this last trip, they were taking everyone's temperature by aiming their device at your forehead and then squeezing a dollop of hand sanitizer so you could rub your hands. In Old Town Mombasa, the narrow streets made for an interesting walk. The girl in the bikini came with me and wore a sexy red shirt and cut off jean shorts and was quite a contrast to all the muslim women walking around covered up in their traditional religious garb. While standing in the middle of one of Old Town's streets, I snapped a pic of the oldest mosque in East Africa, going back to the 1570's. Turning around, I took a pic of a banner displaying a different sort of entity, not quite as old as the mosque, but no doubt has nearly just as many devotees.

In the beginning, I would give them 2000 shillings, $20 USD at the 100/1 exchange rate. In the last few years, I would usually fold up 2500 shillings and slip it into their purse while they were in the shower. The rate on this last trip I was getting 101/102, on the dollar, so the currency has remained very steady against the dollar all these years. And no bar fines to pay either, everyone is either a free lancer or a semi-pro wishing to supplement their salary from their regular job. Getting a phone or whatsapp number from a lady at her job, be it a salon, a restaurant, a hotel receptionist, a service girl at a pub....proved all quite easy to collect and make a plan for that night or whenever her day off might be.

Another with the massage girl and a look at the standard room at the Kahama Hotel. Very spacious, huge bed and bath, flat screen a mosquito net over the bed, and at $50 USD per night at the time, I thought a very good value. The staff was extremely polite and competent, African hospitality at it's best. I was warned to close the windows when I left the room as there were monkeys roaming the grounds outside and were known to slip inside a room if the window was left ajar, and make off with any belongings from a guest. I always made sure to keep my wallet and passport in the locked safe inside the wardrobe closet.

To the mods....if the bikini pic in the previous post is a bit over the top, then delete it. I will not post any naked or topless pics here. Everything will be within the boundaries of decent taste.