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Glasseye

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Bloke say’s to his mate in the pub “do you want tickets for the Cup Final next week, only £100?”

His mate say’s “blimey I can get a woman for that!”

He says “I’m sure you can, but you won’t get 40 minutes each way and a band at half time”!!

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Cop on a horse says to little girl on a bike, “Did Santa get you that?” “Yes” replied the little girl. “Well tell him to put a reflector on it next year!” And fines her $5.

The little girl looks up at the cop and says, “Nice horse you got there, did Santa bring you that?” The cop chuckles and replies, “He sure did!” “Well” says the little girl, Next year tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it”.

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