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Nightcrawler

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Pretty sure I heard this the first time I saw the film Arnhem. Two wounded paras sharing a ciggie and talking.

Remember it to this day:

There once was a barmaid from Swale

renderTimingPixel.pngOn whose chest  was tattooed the price of pale ale

And on her behind

For the sake of the blind

Was the same information in Braille

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On 11/13/2021 at 11:51 AM, coxyhog said:

'Twas on the good ship Venus,by god you should have seen us.

The figurehead was a nude in bed sucking a dead man's penis....

Can't remember any more.

Same first line as the brilliant Sex Pistols song Friggin in the riggin.

Heres the full lyrics

It was on the good ship Venus
By Christ, ya should've seen us
The figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast, a mammoth penis
 
The captain of this lugger
He was a dirty bugger
He wasn't fit to shovel shit
From one place to another
 
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f**k all else to do
 
Captain's name was Morgan
By Christ, he was a gorgon
Ten times a day sweet tunes he'd play
On his fuckin' organ
 
The first mate's name was Cooper
By Christ he was a trooper
He jerked and jerked until he worked
Himself into a stupor
 
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f**k all else to do
 
Hold on
Give it some bollocks
The second mate was Andy
By Christ, he had a dandy
'Til they crushed his cock on a jagged rock
From cumming in the brandy
 
The cabin boy was Flipper
He was a fuckin' nipper
He stuffed his ass with broken glass
And circumcised the skipper
 
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f**k all else to do
 
Ahoy Jimmy
 
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f**k all else to do
 
The Captain's wife was Mabel
To f**k she was not able
So the dirty shits, they nailed her tits
Across the barroom table
 
The Captain had a daughter
Who fell in deep sea water
Delighted squeals we knew the eels
Had found 'er sexual quarters
 
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f**k all else to do
 
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f**k all else to do
 
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f**k all else to do
 
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f**k all else to do
 
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f**k all else to do
 
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f**k all else to do
 
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f**k all else to do
 
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f**k all else to do
 
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f**k all else to do
 
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f**k all else to do
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18 hours ago, Siam Addict said:

Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
Friggin' in the riggin'
There was f**k all else to do

Our version was:

 

Friggin' in the riggin'

Wankin' on the plankin'

Masturbatin' on the gratin'

There's f*** all else to do

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