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Prior to my first trip to Thailand, my brother (a Cambodian refugee from the 1970s) told me, "if you marry a Thai woman, you marry her family."

It's been my experience that this plays out in various ways not necessarily always financial. As is mentioned in the OP linked story it often depends on if the family is primarily urban or rural, well off or poor. A rural engagement party & marriage is a big deal for a family. "Face" is very important in the village. I went along with the engagement formalities but opted out of having a wedding. 50 baht to get married at the amphur office

I'm raising a young daughter (on my own) who is half Thai...& am happy to help out her grandparents from time to time with a little baht. They're old farmers, good people, and the money they earn comes in sporadically with the harvest. It's no scratch for me and if anything happened to me they would welcome my daughter with open arms. My baby mama has remarried and is out of the money loop (thankfully).

My brother also told me to "watch out for the massage shops where they take you upstairs to little rooms with AC." 

🙂

Edited by lazarus
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I got told in no uncertain terms by FIL that I could marry his daughter, but I was never to offer him any form of Sin Sott. No cash, no gold bars, nothing. 
Needless to say, I took him up on his most generous offer. 🤗
 

Edited by KhunDon
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I know sin sot is all "across the board" even with the Thais .... some don't want, some only do out of tradition , some want , some want only for "face" and return the money ... pretty hard to say it is still a hard and fast rule you gotta pay sin sot ...... but, a hard and fast rule if the gal was married before or has kids .. sin sot is a no no ... 

In my case, after about 12 years of dating and staying with her occasionally a couple of weeks here and there with Beach Gal we finally got married ( yea, I wanted to and kinda didn't want to - I was a confirmed bachelor ----- but, she was also about 8 months pregnant with Ziggy - so, in my mind I had no choice ) .. I gave her Dad 1.5 million baht ... after we got married her Dad handed me back the baht and he told me "thank you for understanding " ... I gave the baht to Beach gal ... she put it in the bank and hadn't used a penny of it to this day ... ( it was only for "face" )

Plus, I offered baht to Beach gal baht to cover the costs of the wedding .. but, her family insisted that I pay nothing ... and man ... what a great day it turned out to be ... to be honest it kinda blew my mind all of the fucking food, booze, flowers , decorations , 2 live bands, this gigantic outdoor covered hall  .... etc.

In my mind -- I got the best part of the deal .. I ended up with Beach gal ..... 

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20 hours ago, misteregg said:

The village elders should be the one who sets the sin sot.
Technically if your wife does the dirty on you you can get the money back.

LOL .. bullshit .. some one else determining how much baht I need to pay .. jeez .. Bro ... you have been around to many Isaan gals .. f**k me .. lol ... lol

And yea .. seriously .. you think you can get baht back from a Thai gal ... like -- she will pay you back for doing a "dirty deed " .... you need to take a shower and sober the f**k up .... lol ... lol .. 

I have a hard time believing this dribble you just spoke .. If you believe that .. then you are future f***d with any gal you meet ... get a backbone .... and cowboy the f**k up !

Edited by code_slayer_bkk
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Posted (edited)

All this "traditional" stuff is what makes a country like Thailand still having a middle age mentality.

100k sinsot in 95, used to pay (a part) of the wedding. 

When I first time came on holiday in the jungle with  Miss in Indo, there was this thing "not sure we can sleep together, you know here it is not something you can do when not married"

My answer : For 3 day holiday, no problem, but if we one day decide to move to Indo this better be sorted. Because if the "elders" say no, it's easy ..."end of the love story, and I move on"

Problem solved. Her 3 brothers (all elders, my age) are not stupid. 

In Bali of course this is not a problem at all, much more open minded.

But in a general way, I never was very open to all this BS, and nowadays it is simply "I don't want to hear about it"

Of course occasionally I will play the game, like at her son's wedding but for the rest things are pretty clear and set.

Edit :

concerning Thailand, things are definitively changing. My eldest son lived together with his g/f in BKK around 7 y ago already. Her parents, rather well off people from the South, owning a few fishing vessels, took some time to adapt to it but at the end it was rather OK.

My daughter started to live with somebody at 18 y old, her mom didn't really like it, but not much she could say. And me ? With my views on freedom, she is entitled to do what she wants. But, I keep an eye of course .....

 

Edited by Thai Spice
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What makes me laugh is when you hear of some poor bastard paying a sin sod for a 30 year old brass with 2 kids, that's not how it works, if you haven't got the brains to see that then you deserve to be mugged off.

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4 hours ago, dcfc2007 said:

some poor 60 y old bastard paying a sin sod for a 30 year old brass with 2 kids, t

Corrected ..... but you're right. First mistake, is to take one with young kids .

But to each his own. 

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On 10/6/2020 at 1:38 AM, Pumpuynarak said:

Thats got to be mission impossible here in Thailand or anywhere come to that unless ya get them very young.

She was 18 when we first met in the UK and I’d never been married before. 🏆🤗

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On 10/8/2020 at 3:23 AM, KhunDon said:

She was 18 when we first met in the UK and I’d never been married before. 🏆🤗

Same with me .. Beach gal was almost 18 when I met her , I cannot guarantee she has never had sex with another guy ... but I think not .. it doesn't matter to me .. we have a healthy and good relationship for many years now .. and a beautiful daughter .... that is what is important ...

Edited by code_slayer_bkk
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  • 3 weeks later...
On 10/6/2020 at 2:16 AM, misteregg said:

The village elders should be the one who sets the sin sot.
Technically if your wife does the dirty on you you can get the money back.

Oh,they put the money in a trust account set up by the other village elder,Lawyer do they?🤣🤣🤣🤣

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