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Jokes to raise a smile? (Threads Merged)


ArtyGraph

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A hard-working, fairly wealthy man comes home to his hot younger wife. She is dressed like a schoolgirl, and suddenly turns on the charm,whispering “Baby, you ever seen a crumpled up $20 bill” ?

He says no, then she guides his hand into her bra….he pulls out a $20. Now that he’s breathing harder, she whispers again “ ever see a crumpled $100 bill, baby”? 
 

No he repeats, getting sweaty….she takes his hand up her skirt, where he finds a $100 bill in her thong. He’s getting very hard, ready for the main event to start, she pauses and asks “Honey….now have you ever seen $250,000 crumpled up”

Confused he again says “no sweetie”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

”Good….go look in the garage”

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Edited by Golfingboy
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On 11/21/2023 at 3:32 AM, tko said:

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1996…..OMFG I clearly remember an instance of this…..45 minutes of focusing on this tight little French bird…another youngster beat me to it getting a dance at 2:45, I was pissed off…..

Then the lights come on, never felt so much relief 

Edited by Golfingboy
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At a wine merchant’s warehouse the regular taster died, and the director started looking for a new one to hire.
A retired Chief Petty Officer, drunk and with a ragged dirty look, came to apply for the position. The director wondered how to send him away.
They gave him a glass of wine to taste.
The old Chief tried it and said, “It’s a Muscat three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade but acceptable.”
“That’s correct,” said the boss.
“Another glass, please.”
“It’s a cabernet, eight years old, south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at eight degrees. Requires three more years for finest results.”
“Absolutely correct.
A third glass.”
‘‘It’s a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive,’’ calmly said the drunk.
The director was astonished and winked at his secretary to suggest something. She left the room and came back in with a glass of urine.
The old Navy Chief tried it.
“It’s a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant, and if I don’t get the job, I’ll name the father.”
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