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Jokes to raise a smile? (Threads Merged)


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"The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. - Mark Twain
"First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down." - Leo Rosenberg
"At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves." - George Orwell
"At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all." - Ann Lander
"As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." - Sir Norman Wisdom
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” - Andy Rooney
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.” - Larry Lorenzon
"I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?"- Barry Cryer
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
"Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does." - J. Norman Collie
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old." - Mark Twain
"Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician." - Anonymous
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