Aqualung Posted May 3, 2023 Share Posted May 3, 2023 1 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coxyhog Posted May 3, 2023 Share Posted May 3, 2023 I told my wife I would be home by midnight as I was having a few drinks with the lads “I promise”. Well the hours passed and the beer flowed far too easily and around 2.30am a bit the worse for wear, I headed home. I just got in the door and the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, I realised my wife would probably wake up so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was quite proud of myself coming up with such a quick witted solution, to avoid a yelling at. Even when totally smashed I was able to calculate 3 + 9 = 12 cuckoos for midnight. The next morning my wife asked what time I got in? I said with an Angelic look “midnight”. She looked ok with that answer, I thought phew, success, no yelling, missed that bullet. Then she said “ I think we need a new cuckoo clock”. I asked why and she said “well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said ‘oh shit’, cuckooed another 4 times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another3 times, giggled, cuckooed another 4 times tripped over the coffee table and farted”. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zambo Posted May 3, 2023 Share Posted May 3, 2023 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coxyhog Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 1 1 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golfingboy Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KhunDon Posted May 4, 2023 Share Posted May 4, 2023 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post forqalso Posted May 5, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted May 5, 2023 I was at a wedding and this woman opposite looked at me and said “every time you smile, I feel like inviting you to my place..” I asked in excitement “are you single?” She replied ‘NO’ I’m a Dentist 1 1 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golfingboy Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 Now I’m not implying this goes on in Thailand….. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golfingboy Posted May 5, 2023 Share Posted May 5, 2023 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tko Posted May 6, 2023 Share Posted May 6, 2023 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derek Dangleberries Posted May 6, 2023 Share Posted May 6, 2023 1 hour ago, tko said: Fucking brilliant !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KhunDon Posted May 6, 2023 Share Posted May 6, 2023 I was sat on the bus the other day next to an old lady. She said “do you have any pets”? I said “yes, I have a goldfish” she asked me “any hobbies” I said “yes, he likes swimming”. 😉 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coxyhog Posted May 6, 2023 Share Posted May 6, 2023 Early mid-air refuelling.... 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lirchenfeld Posted May 7, 2023 Share Posted May 7, 2023 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golfingboy Posted May 9, 2023 Share Posted May 9, 2023 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightcrawler Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 I took a lady friend out for a drink at a bar last week. As she was sitting down, I asked her if she would like me to push in her stool . She replied "let's have a few drinks first and see how it goes" 1 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golfingboy Posted May 10, 2023 Share Posted May 10, 2023 1 hour ago, Nightcrawler said: I took a lady friend out for a drink at a bar last week. As she was sitting down, I asked her if she would like me to push in her stool . She replied "let's have a few drinks first and see how it goes" Brilliant! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coxyhog Posted May 11, 2023 Share Posted May 11, 2023 1 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golfingboy Posted May 11, 2023 Share Posted May 11, 2023 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Golfingboy Posted May 11, 2023 Share Posted May 11, 2023 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aqualung Posted May 11, 2023 Share Posted May 11, 2023 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lazarus Posted May 12, 2023 Popular Post Share Posted May 12, 2023 2 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lirchenfeld Posted May 13, 2023 Share Posted May 13, 2023 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lazarus Posted May 13, 2023 Share Posted May 13, 2023 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KhunDon Posted May 13, 2023 Share Posted May 13, 2023 (edited) Deleted. Edited May 13, 2023 by KhunDon File problem Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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