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Jokes to raise a smile? (Threads Merged)


ArtyGraph

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 A true story 

A good looking man walked into an agent's office in Hollywood and said "I want to be a movie star."

 The agent asked, "What's your name..?"

 The guy said, "My name is Penis van Lesbian."

 “Really” said the agent “I hate to tell you, but in order to get into Hollywood, you are going to have to change your name."

 "I will NOT change my name..! “said the young man “The van Lesbian name is centuries old, I will never change my name."

“Well” said the agent “I have worked in Hollywood for years and know you will NEVER go far with a name like Penis van Lesbian..! You will HAVE TO change your name or you'll never get on"

 "So be it” said the youngster “I guess we will not do business together" and he left the agent's office.

 Five years pass and the agent receives and opens an envelope, inside which was a letter and a cheque for $50,000. 

Who would possibly send him $50,000..? He reads the letter...

 Dear Sir, 

Five years ago, I came into your office wanting to become an actor in Hollywood, but you told me I would never make it with a name like Penis van Lesbian. 

I left your office and thought about what you said. I decided you were right and changed my name and signed with another agent. I would never have made it without taking your advice and changing my name, so the enclosed check is a token of my appreciation.

 Thank you for your advice.

 Sincerely,

 Dick van Dyke😎

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15 hours ago, Derek Dangleberries said:

 

There were a couple of farang girls on my EVA flight dressed in short shorts not dissimilar to those in the pic !!!

I hope that they had similar bums and not the one's I regularly see in my local high street. They've got some cheek.

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