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Jokes to raise a smile? (Threads Merged)


ArtyGraph

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My mum phoned me and admitted to having a shandy or two to many so could I pick her up? On the way home we passed McDonalds and she asked if we could stop. Nope I said we can eat at home. Do you know how many years I have waited to say that to her?

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Man yells to his wife “ hey babe check out this clock” ! 
 

She turns around to see him with his pants pulled down, at full staff. Not amused, she says 

”That’s not a clock”! 
 

“Well it is if you put a face and 2 hands on it”

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