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Jokes to raise a smile? (Threads Merged)


ArtyGraph

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8 minutes ago, coxyhog said:

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I drove one 250 miles once long ago. Frightened the feckin life out of me, as the steering took ages to react to what you did with the steering wheel. 

Heap of shite, like most British cars were back in the day. ☹️

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I’ll share one from Dad about a week before he passed, mind you, he could barely breathe from the lung tumour, but he sure had his sense of humour. 
 

He was still messy from a #2, but the orderlies had left the room, so it was just simpler for the attending nurses to finish up his “change”. I guess Dad, even after divorce, a month in Puerto Rico,many dating sites and remarrying, still kept it to one lady at a time. Both nurses were cute and Asian, one Filipino and one Chinese, and Dad says........

”What a life I’ve had........Almost 75 years on this Earth, and this is the first time I’ve had two ladies see my pecker at the same time” 

I laughed so hard, as did everyone else in the room

The other joke he told often, usually to the oncologists, when they’d ask

”how do you feel Gary?” .....With my hands

God I miss him

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