Thai lies and deceit....

[Aqualung]

Just a basic post for now as I'm fucking fuming at what I witnessed tonight at a party between local Thai sisters( friends) so to speak. A birthday party. 

I will update later when I've calmed down but do these women think us farangs are deaf dumb and blind? 

I'll finish this post by saying that they or some of them.... One Thai woman in particular I've known and had good feelings for, for years ( my best mate in Swedens wife) is taking the absolute piss out of him. And not for the first time I may add. 

Do I keep my gob shut or not? 

I feel like seeing her first and giving her the choice of telling her husband first or I will. 

I can't sit by and watch my friend being deceived again. 

 

[Pumpuynarak]

15 minutes ago, Aqualung said:

Do I keep my gob shut or not? 

I told a mate of mine he was being shafted by his Thai GF and did it make any difference, not in the slightest, she's STILL shafting him 3 years later. I just wasted my time but i felt i HAD to tell him as he was a good mate.

Love is blind.

[karon steve]

Beware the possibility of losing a friend.

[Derek Dangleberries]

3 hours ago, Aqualung said:

Just a basic post for now as I'm fucking fuming at what I witnessed tonight at a party between local Thai sisters( friends) so to speak. A birthday party. 

I will update later when I've calmed down but do these women think us farangs are deaf dumb and blind? 

I'll finish this post by saying that they or some of them.... One Thai woman in particular I've known and had good feelings for, for years ( my best mate in Swedens wife) is taking the absolute piss out of him. And not for the first time I may add. 

Remember -  She is taking the piss out of you too by doing whatever it is in front of you!!!

Tell him, but you may lose all of them as friends. No big loss if he doesn't value your honesty.

[Zeb]

4 hours ago, Aqualung said:

Do I keep my gob shut or not? 

Can you figure out a way to set her up without her knowing where it came from ?

[roomark]

5 hours ago, Aqualung said:

Just a basic post for now as I'm fucking fuming at what I witnessed tonight at a party between local Thai sisters( friends) so to speak. A birthday party. 

I will update later when I've calmed down but do these women think us farangs are deaf dumb and blind? 

I'll finish this post by saying that they or some of them.... One Thai woman in particular I've known and had good feelings for, for years ( my best mate in Swedens wife) is taking the absolute piss out of him. And not for the first time I may add. 

Do I keep my gob shut or not? 

I feel like seeing her first and giving her the choice of telling her husband first or I will. 

I can't sit by and watch my friend being deceived again. 

 

Happened to me a decade or so back I called her told her I knew her game and what she was doing to my mate.

She denied it point blank until I told her where , when and who with and good friends who knew more and witnessed more than me that would back me up too.

She cried the usual bullshit begged me not to tell him.

I slept on it and decided f**k that he's my mate .

It did no good they got back together a week later only to split up a few years later and now they are on and off.

I'm still mates with him , but don't see them anymore though he is one of the best people you could wish to know.

Would I do it again?

Absofuckinglutely.

At least my conscience is clear, what happens after then is up to them. 

I'd wanna know

 

Edited September 24, 2023 by roomark

[Glasseye]

Never an easy call. But, I can say you are doing the right thing by taking some time to sort out within yourself how to approach it.

Often with things of this nature it is how you deliver the message, the timing, the tone, the environment - how you say it. Definately don't be out drinking.

Also think through clearly the reason(s) you are telling him (is it really in his best interest, or is it more to "clear your conscious"). 

- Be prepared for any kind of response. 

- Have no expectations 

- Keep a little distance after you drop the ball from all involved 

 

People are unpredictable when emotional.

[Homor]

Thai ladies are very good at turn on the water works when the going gets tough and maybe turning your friend against you .

if your going to tell your friend make sure you have all your facts right and maybe a few pics otherwise it may get dirty 

[Bazle]

7 hours ago, Aqualung said:

Just a basic post for now as I'm fucking fuming at what I witnessed tonight at a party between local Thai sisters( friends) so to speak. A birthday party. 

I will update later when I've calmed down but do these women think us farangs are deaf dumb and blind? 

I'll finish this post by saying that they or some of them.... One Thai woman in particular I've known and had good feelings for, for years ( my best mate in Swedens wife) is taking the absolute piss out of him. And not for the first time I may add. 

Do I keep my gob shut or not? 

I feel like seeing her first and giving her the choice of telling her husband first or I will. 

I can't sit by and watch my friend being deceived again. 

 

Just playing devil's advocate here!

If your mate in Sweden was playing around, would you feel the need to tell his wife?

[Zambo]

1 hour ago, Homor said:

Thai ladies are very good at turn on the water works when the going gets tough and maybe turning your friend against you .

if your going to tell your friend make sure you have all your facts right and maybe a few pics otherwise it may get dirty 

Yes i can just imagine the phone call from girl to mate "yes i told you i was going out that evening as i was bored. I just had a couple of drinks, i even saw k.aqualung and said hello. Why you believe such stupid people. Can you visit soon jub jub"

[boydeste]

4 hours ago, Zeb said:

Can you figure out a way to set her up without her knowing where it came from ?

I like this. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

It's always a difficult dilemma, but one way or another he needs to be aware, then at least he can make a decision how he wants to deal with it.

You need to be 100% sure though!

[Butch]

5 hours ago, Derek Dangleberries said:

Remember -  She is taking the piss out of you too by doing whatever it is in front of you!!!

Tell him, but you may lose all of them as friends. No big loss if he doesn't value your honesty.

^^^^^^^Absolutely 100% right. ^^^^^^^^

She's got zero respect for you as she does her own husband and probably holds you in the same amount of contempt.

Your conscience is telling you to do the "right" thing, and ask yourself if the situation was reversed, what would you want him to do and how would you react?.

If he ever finds out and then confronts you asking if you knew about it, your conscience probably wouldn't let you lie to him so it then would cause him to feel even more betrayal.

Whatever happens, it's going to be a difficult conversation.

[KhunDon]

12 hours ago, Pumpuynarak said:

 

Love is blind.

Love will draw you farther than gunpowder will blow you. 
It was ever thus. 

Tell him the facts, even better if you have pictures, what he does with the information is then up to him.
Some men never believe they are cuckolded, but that’s their choice, at least your conscience is clear. 
Long distance relationships are always difficult, no matter the nationality of the girls involved and have to be based on trust. If that trust is broken, what else is left. 

[Richard_in_Bangkok]

7 hours ago, Glasseye said:

you are doing the right thing by taking some time to sort out within yourself how to approach it.

Nicely said, @Glasseye.

[Aqualung]

20 hours ago, karon steve said:

Beware the possibility of losing a friend.

Already aware of that but thanks Steve. 

[Aqualung]

20 hours ago, Derek Dangleberries said:

Remember -  She is taking the piss out of you too by doing whatever it is in front of you!!!

Tell him, but you may lose all of them as friends. No big loss if he doesn't value your honesty.

It's not what she did in front of me and my wife Derek. She hasn't got the nerve to be so brazen. It's what she did out of eyesite that made my blood boil. Thinking she is so clever that nobody would notice. 

[Aqualung]

17 hours ago, Bazle said:

Just playing devil's advocate here!

If your mate in Sweden was playing around, would you feel the need to tell his wife?

Totally hypothetical mate. Knowing him as I do it wouldn't happen 

 

 

 

 

Maybe! 

[Aqualung]

Bit of background on my mates wife starting just over 3 years ago when I first had my suspicions about her. 

Me and my wife agreed to go strawberry picking with her and her husband but when she arrived at our apartment in her husband's car he wasn't driving. It was some fella from Kosovo! A big surprise for me and the TW ( maybe not such a surprise for my wife tbh) so I asked the obvious question in where was her husband. He was having a Bbq at home alone which was true. 

So I asked who is this guy driving your husband's car then? Typical answer was he's Just a friend... Yeh right! 

My next question was does your husband know about this?........ Answer was no. 

So I bailed out of the trip and let her the Kosovo guy and my wife go picking strawberries. 

I said nothing to my Swedish friend. 

 

[Yessongs]

So Steve, what is your wife's overall suggestion to you for this problem? What is her opinion? 

[Aqualung]

Now on to last night's birthday party. As I've mentioned earlier, it's not what my mates wife did in front of the guests there. It was what happened during the party when she disappeared for a hour and I'm sure she hoped nobody would notice. Silly cow. 

The host of the party was another Thai woman, recently separated from her Swedish partner and now has a string of guys on the go. An Italian, a Norwegian and her current bloke, a 33 year old Syrian guy 10 years her junior. There has been others also. 

Now, my mates wife, the woman I'm getting pissed off with, has been spending a lot of time with the host of this party. Mainly at weekends and so you would think it's normal for her to meet the hosts Syrian boyfriend and maybe one or two of his mates. No problem for me there tbh. 

Anyways to get to the point as I'm shite at writing stuff like this. 

So me and the TW are there early, about 7 pm. We were driven there by my mates wife as is what normally happens. ( he was away on territorial army duties and wasn't due home till late Sunday afternoon). So we are there and all talking, drinking and eating etc then about 10pm the Syrian boyfriend rocks up with 2 of his chums. Hellos were said between everyone and we continued to do what we were doing. 

I was sitting next to my mates wife and I know for a fact she spoke to noboby apart from the other Thai folks there. After about 40 minutes my mates wife disappeared. It took me a few minutes to realise that the younger of the Syrian fellas had also disappeared. Of course I asked where they where and had something happened only to be told that my mates wife was taking her car back home and returning so she could drink some wine. Abley assisted by the young Syrian chap who she never spoke a word to previously that night. ( my mates wife doesn't even like booze) 

Me and the TW left the party at midnight and offered c**t woman a lift home as she now had no way of getting home other than hiring a taxi, something she has never done in her life here in Sweden. She declined the offer and stayed with the host and maybe the only 2 other guests that were left there. 

Now.... I'm either adding up 2+2 and getting 5 or I'm right in my suspicions. 

I've met my mate this evening when he called around to collect some beers I bought for him as he was playing army games and was unable to buy his own. I said nothing to him and I won't. I really don't want to get involved in what I thinks happening. Mainly for the sake of my wife. 

Thanks for the replies chaps. 

 

 

[Aqualung]

9 minutes ago, Yessongs said:

So Steve, what is your wife's overall suggestion to you for this problem? What is her opinion? 

Good question Mike. You are not the only one who wishes to know. 

My wife's take on this is basically this..... She told her friend that if she is cheating on her husband she doesn't want to know the details and doesn't want to hear anymore. Typical Thai response I reckon. 

She had also distanced herself from her as she has become very selfish. Going on solo trips to Magaluf and Greece... Knowing full well that her husband won't follow because he's had skin cancer. 

Can't believe she's changed into such a bitch in just a few years. 

[Yessongs]

8 minutes ago, Aqualung said:

Good question Mike. You are not the only one who wishes to know. 

My wife's take on this is basically this..... She told her friend that if she is cheating on her husband she doesn't want to know the details and doesn't want to hear anymore. Typical Thai response I reckon. 

She had also distanced herself from her as she has become very selfish. Going on solo trips to Magaluf and Greece... Knowing full well that her husband won't follow because he's had skin cancer. 

Can't believe she's changed into such a bitch in just a few years. 

Well Steve, what a dirtbag this gal is, especially knowing full well her husband has a medical condition like he has. Complete ass-wipe in my opinion. Good riddance to her at some point hopefully.

[Nickrock]

4 hours ago, Aqualung said:

 

Can't believe she's changed into such a bitch in just a few years. 

My soon to be ex changed a lot in the last year we were together, long plan to suck as much cash of mine in to her thai accounts and assets

When we split I found out about some of it and said fine I want your thai house ( 2m bt just finished) the rubber plantation the family land left to you and all the land you have notes on valued plus the 1m bt I loaned you.  There was silence then historical screaming  then I will tell the judge you paid for sfa here in nz except your food 

[Glasseye]

8 hours ago, Aqualung said:

Bit of background on my mates wife starting just over 3 years ago when I first had my suspicions about her. 

Me and my wife agreed to go strawberry picking with her and her husband but when she arrived at our apartment in her husband's car he wasn't driving. It was some fella from Kosovo! A big surprise for me and the TW ( maybe not such a surprise for my wife tbh) so I asked the obvious question in where was her husband. He was having a Bbq at home alone which was true. 

So I asked who is this guy driving your husband's car then? Typical answer was he's Just a friend... Yeh right! 

My next question was does your husband know about this?........ Answer was no. 

So I bailed out of the trip and let her the Kosovo guy and my wife go picking strawberries. 

I said nothing to my Swedish friend. 

 

 

Are you sure it wasn't her brother ?     

 

Sorry to be crass, but....

 

This was surely an early indication of reality. Certainly not worth getting worked up over it. Knowing this, I would drop the whole thing like a hot potato. Not worth it.

[Jambo]

Difficult situation and even a friend might well not thank you for such news however well meaning.

The topic reminded me of something that happened to me when I was a Regional Sales Manager based in Birmingham.

I came home from work one evening to be confronted by my wife in floods of tears. She had received a phone call from a guy who had suggested that my wife should tell her husband to stay away from B#####a in the office.

Although he did not give his name I knew immediately who it was as unfortunately two days before I had the none too pleasant task of dismissing one of the sales staff following a series of meetings and under performance warning letters. I tried to help him by giving him an extra month's pay and immediately releasing him from further duties. He nevertheless told me exactly what he thought of me.

I explained this to me wife and she calmed down readily. It helped that I had previously mentioned the fact that I had not been looking forward to having to give notice to one of the sales staff. Not the first time but never pleasant.

The next day I mentioned what had happened to another colleague and another "Danny". I was "DA" and he was "DH" to all that knew us in Brum.

DH was a great guy and a good friend. A bright guy from the Irish community in Brum. He introduced me to a lot of his mates and we took up almost a row at The Villa on a Saturday.

Anyway, having mentioned the incident to DH I did not give it much further thought until a couple of days later DH put his head into my office and said

"Boss, you won't have any more trouble with him again. Me and a few guys from The Ladywood Social Club put him straight."

"Jesus, Danny! What the f**k have you done?" says I in a blind panic thinking of a body turning up in a ditch.

"No, nothing to worry about we just had a quiet word in his ear. He knows the score now."

You will not find that solution in a Dale Carnegie training course. 😄

A happy ending all round with trust resumed.

Almost.