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Jokes to raise a smile? (Threads Merged)


ArtyGraph

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3 hours ago, KhunDon said:

Had 2 of those Ford Xr3i 

They called them the Ford Clitoris, because every c**t had one, me included. 🤣

Was a popular car in Montreal, think they came out with a ZX2 version with a little more HP, then eventually it gave way to the Focus

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It's the day after Christmas. Johnny is playing with the train set he got from Santa. Mother's cooking dinner in the kitchen and dad is at work. Suddenly mom hears what Johnny's saying:

- 'Ding ding, vroar, all aboard for the train to Peterborough. .Everybody for Peterborough get the f**k on. Everybody to stay in London get the f**k off'
Whoa, mom thinks, that can't be right...

- 'Ding ding, vroar, all aboard for the train to York. Everybody for York get the f**k on. Everybody to stay in Peterborough get the f**k off'
Mom storms into the living room. 'Johnny!!! I just happened to hear that. Now you stop playing young man. Go to your room imemdiately. I will not tolerate you using such foul language. It's a disgrace! We didn't raise you like that. No up to your room and don't come down for an hour.'

After 1 hour and 15 minutes Johnny comes down hesitantly. He goes back to the living room. 
- 'Ding ding, vroar, all aboard for the train to Edinburgh,. Everyone for Edinburgh please get on. Everyon to stay in Dunbar please get off...'.
Mom is pleased, and Johnny continues
'... and if you're wondering about the 1 hour and fifteen minutes delay, it's because of the c**t in the kitchen!'

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Interviewer: How much amount of milk does your cow produce?
Farmer: Which one, black one or white one?

Interviewer: Black one

Farmer: 2 liters per day.

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: 2 liters per day.

Interviewer: Where do they sleep?

Farmer: The black one or the White one?

Interviewer: The black one

Farmer: In the Barn

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: In the Barn

Interviewer: Your cows look healthy...What do you feed them?

Farmer: Which one..black one or the white one?

Interviewer: Black one

Farmer: Grass

Interviewer: And the white one

Farmer: Grass

Interviewer: (Annoyed) Why do you keep on asking if black one or white one when answers are just the same??

Farmer: Because the black one is mine

Interviewer: And the white one?

Farmer: It's also mine.

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